Fandom: Star Wars
Title: In Which Anakin Does It Again
Characters: Obi-Wan, Anakin, minor Qui-Gon
Summary: It's a Friday, and Anakin's managed to do it again, much to Obi-Wan's displeasure. So they argue. And it doesn't really work out at all.
Warnings: Disgusting jelly.


Obi-Wan glowered. He had not been expecting this. He shoved his foot down into the murky, violet liquid once more.

"Ani…WHAT WERE YOU DAMN WELL THINKING WHEN YOU BROUGHT US TO jELLY mARKET pLANET??"

"I…I don't know."

"You don't know."

"Yes, I don't know."

The elder Jedi took a moment to reconsider the situation. A frown settled upon his face.

"You don't suppose this planet is…out-of-date, do you?"

Anakin gave him an odd look.

"'Out-of-date'? Do planets even have expiration dates…?"

The General looked thoughtful for a second.

"No, Anakin, I don't think they do…"

"Then why did you ask if the planet was expired?"

"Because…Because the jelly does not appear to be of very high quality."

The Jedi Knight didn't really have a response to that, so the two continued to stand in the murky, violet liquid, which had somehow accumulated some form of green fungi.

"…Think that might be mould?"

"I wouldn't doubt it."

Feeling quite disgusted, the two attempted to stroll out of the swamp-like-thing…only to find that there was nowhere else to go.

"I could've sworn our ship was right behind us."

Anakin gave a half shrug.

"Maybe it got eaten?"

"…"

"By the mould?"

Obi-Wan gave him an incredulous stare, as if he couldn't believe his former-padawan had even suggested such a thing…which he couldn't.

"At least I have theories."

Obi-Wan had to admit defeat.

"Anyway, Master, have you noticed something odd about this situation?"

The Jedi gave him a dry glare.

"You mean other than the fact that we are slowly but surely sinking in this violet liquid and that our ship has mysteriously vanished?"

"No need for sarcasm…"

"Just get on with it."

"Well…it's just that there has been just about no description of our current landscape and-"

Obi-Wan cut him off.

"Don't even start."

"I'm serious! So far, all we know is that we're standing in murky, violet liquid which has green fungi in it. And if this really is anything to go by, we haven't moved at all! Everything's just dialogue! I swear, there must be no plot which means we'll probably be stuck here forever! And not only that – were completely out of character!"

"By the Force, Anakin, you just had to do it didn't you? How many times have I told you not to keep knocking on the fourth wall? And you don't even do that! You damn well demolish the wall! All you're supposed to do is follow your stage directions and read out your lines from the script – is it really that difficult? I don't understand how we've even got this far in the storyline of Star Wars – you do this every time! We had to shoot your scenes in The Phantom Menace enough times to set a world record. Can't you just accept the way things are and READ THE DAMN SCRIPT?"

Anakin looked stunned for a few, awkward instants.

"…I'm illiterate?"

"Oh Feck this. I QUIT."

"...'Feck' is a lame curse."

"..."


"I hear you quit."

"Oh shut up, Qui-Gon. You did it too."

"Yeah…" The man smirked, "But at least I got to die a dramatic death…and drink chocolate milkshakes for the rest of my life."

"I really hate you right now."


Yes. That's it. It was written in five miuntes...for a friend. But I felt the sudden urge to post it up...about five months later. How odd.

You know...I've never actually watched 'Star Wars'...