------------------Note from Shinosuke-----------------
This is in response to the challenge below. Thus explaining all the drama. xD And just to let you all know, if you're reading any of my other stories, I'd love to Update everyday but I can't. I have to wait for each chapter to be beta'd. but that Doesn't mean I don't love all my readers and reviewers!!
The Challenge
At Harry's funeral...Draco shows up, but no one knew of his and Harry's relationship. Everyone makes it clear Draco's not wanted, but he persists and gets into a fight with Ginny, who saw him kill Harry after Voldie was destroyed. I would write this, but I'm terrible at this sort of thing. I want a lot of yelling, crying, and a big confession from Draco. (I think the best reason for Draco killing Harry would be an agreement between the two of them before the final battle.)
The Story
When the Angels Cry
The sky was misty and blank. It shrouded the entire place in its thick foggy gloom. There was no open and bright blue sky. The overcast was a like a cage. Trapping all those below in its misery.
But the weather was certainly fitting. It would have been awful to have a nice weather on the day of a funeral. The bright blue sky shining on the saddened scene would have been just too… cruel. Yes, the clouds certainly fit in with the morose crowd that sobbed for the loss of their hero.
But there was one, who stood away from the crowd. He was unable to blend in with them. Unable to face his all-consuming guilt and shame.
Draco Malfoy.
He simply didn't have the strength to approach the scene before him. The mahogany coffin, so rich in its color it was nearly black, surrounded by the mourners. Draco knew he did not belong here. That there was no way he would ever be able to stand with the others as an equal.
But he had been unable to stay away. Unable to suppress the feelings he should have abandoned long ago. And so here he was, on this misty and dark day, standing and watching the proceedings.
They had decided to bury him at Hogwarts, right next to Dumbledore. After all, he had always thought of Hogwarts as his home. It was more than fitting.
It wasn't long before someone noticed the blond standing nearby. That person nudged the person next to them, who did the same and so forth. Until nearly every head had turned in his direction.
Draco stiffened visibly under the intense, collective stare. And there were many stares that were less curious, and more resentful. And a handful of stares that were even more hating. And one stare in particular that was absolutely livid.
Seeing that standing away from the crowd had made him stand out more, Draco moved forward in an attempt to be less conspicuous. Though the attempt failed miserably.
The main ceremony ended quickly and most of the people left. A lot of them had been there just to say that they went to the Famous Harry Potter's funeral. A story to tell to their grand children.
When most of the crowd cleared Draco decided he could move forward. There was still a large amount of people who hated him nearby. But this would be his last chance to say goodbye. He couldn't miss it. No matter what.
He stood very near the edge of the grave watching as the coffin was lowered and the dirt shoveled on top of it. Magic was not permitted during funerals. The old fashioned way was more accepted. Allowing the full realization of death to sink in slowly, one shovel full at a time.
Draco felt a deep sadness fill him.
Harry potter was the most selfless person he had ever met. And also the most selfish. How this was possible he would never know, but it was true. Leave it to God to explain. Since God seemed to know everything. And Draco felt as if he knew nothing at all.
"What're you doing here?" a hard voice asked him.
He knew something like this would happen. Maybe he wanted it to happen. Maybe that's why he'd shown up in the first place. To be punished for his sins.
He turned slowly to see the angry face of Ron Weasley. He took a deep breath before he responded.
"I'm paying my last respects, like everyone else."
He watched Ron's face settle into a more sour look. As if he tasted something foul.
"You don't belong here. I'm only gonna ask you once to leave."
Draco looked away for a moment. Of course he didn't belong here. He, if anything, was not blind. He knew that he did not belong. But that could not stop him from wishing.
"This is public property Weasley. I'm doing nothing but standing."
Ron's eyes glinted with anger, "I mean it, Malfoy. Leave."
"No."
Ron whipped out his wand pointing it directly at Draco's heart. Draco responded by only smiling bitterly.
"What's the worse you could do? Kill me? Go ahead. In fact, I dare you."
Ron's face was becoming red in it's anger and his fist tightened around the handle of his wand. But before he could say anything a hand landed on his shoulder.
"Ron, come on. Don't do this." Hermione whispered urgently.
"Why not?" Ron responded never taking his eyes off of Draco.
"Are you seriously going to ruin this day with being reckless. This isn't what Harry would have wanted."
Both Ron and Draco winced as Hermione spoke his name.
Ron dropped his arm albeit with obvious reluctance.
In seeing this, the youngest Weasley immediately came forward.
"Leave!" She screamed at Draco tears falling from her soft brown eyes.
"Ginny…" Hermione said turning to her and trying to restrain her.
"Make him leave!"
Draco dropped his head in shame. He probably should leave. He was an awful person. He was unworthy to be here. He knew that.
Most of the others around them had begun to step forward, ready to intervene the moment things took a violent turn.
But Draco was not interested in a fight. By now he was actually ready to leave. Ready to try to put all of this behind him. To leave the cage of his own remorse and misery.
"Ginny darling, calm down. It's alright dear." Mr. Weasley said coming up behind her and trying to pull her away.
"No! But he's the one who… I saw it." Ginny sobbed.
It only took on infinitesimal moment of time for Draco to realize what she was talking about. There was a gaze that was shared between them. Draco could see it in her deep chocolate brown eyes. And she, in turn, saw the same in his own silvery blue ones.
Draco felt dread settle hard and solid, like a stone, in his stomach.
She knew.
"Ginny, love. What are you talking about?" Mrs. Weasley said coming to her side.
"He's the one who-"
"Shut up." Draco cut her off harshly.
He knew what she would say. And he couldn't hear those words out loud. He couldn't see the tears, hear the accusation in her voice. If he did... he might fall into the abyss he was already precariously hanging over.
"Don't tell my sister, to shut up." Ron said his anger springing back to life.
"He's the one who!" Ginny wailed again.
"Shut your mouth!" Draco cut her off once more.
"That's it." Ron said raising his wand.
"No!" Hermione said reaching for it.
"He killed him!" Ginny screamed.
Did time stop? Draco felt as if it had. The stares of the last few people there burned his skin. The clouds seemed to press down on him, heavy and stifling. The silence weighed on his ears. But the silence only lasted a moment.
"I saw it! All of it…" Ginny sobbed her voice piercing the cold air, "Just after Voldemort was killed. Malfoy… he… I saw it."
"Is it true?" Ron asked. His voice was black with hate.
"Murderer!" Ginny screamed making Draco cringe.
"We can't know that, Ron. Please just-" Hermione started trying again to defuse the situation.
The rest of what was left of the crowd, mostly Harry's close friends, began to murmur. Each of them coming up with their own conclusions. Draco suddenly felt very trapped. Ginny's sobbing, Ron's questioning, the murmurs, the gossip, and the damn clouds. Weighing on him. Pressing down on him. He felt as if his walls were closing in. and as much as he didn't want to loose his composure, he could feel his sanity starting to crumble.
He was going to loose it.
"Is it true?" Ron asked again.
"And if it is?" Draco found himself responding.
Ron growled a little his eyes flashing. Draco didn't know so much hate could be held inside one person. Not inside him but inside Ron. Ron really did abhor him.
"You didn't, did you?" Hermione asked her hand flicking to her own wand, "Tell me you didn't…"
Draco looked away. He looked behind him to the rectangular hole in the ground. He smiled a little.
"Do you see what you've done?" he asked, "Do you see what you've done, Harry?"
Xx--XxX--xX
It was a secret. But Draco was fine with that. After all, he wasn't sure what would happen if their relationship ever went public. There would be plenty opposed to it of course, and not many supporters.
And they were in the middle of a war. There was no time to try and deal with a romantic scandal on top of trying to bring down the Dark Lord once and for all.
But still, on nights like these, when they managed to escape and be alone, it was more than wonderful.
They quickly walked inside the cheap hotel, sopping wet from the downpour outside. They were immediately grateful for the warm refuge but neither could really concentrate on that. They both had more pressing thoughts.
After getting a room they stumbled up the creaking stairs as fast as they could. It had been so long. Draco couldn't hold himself back, and he wouldn't even if he could. He was a Malfoy and he never did anything halfway.
Draco pushed them both inside the small room as soon as Harry had the door unlocked. It took him no time at all to grab a handful of raven colored hair and pull Harry into a deep kiss.
"I've really missed you Harry." Draco muttered between their heated kisses.
"Me too. I missed you too." Harry stammered back.
Harry's hands tangled themselves in silky blond locks and tugged pulling Draco's head back. Draco moaned as Harry then viciously attacked the sensitive skin of his neck with more scorching kisses.
Only a few moments after that and wet robes were being shoved off and onto the hotel floor. Teeth clacked, skin slapped and hands groped as they fell in a tangled heap on the bed.
Draco knew that Harry was stressed and so he didn't take it personally when he was handled a little more roughly than necessary.
"I want you to scream Draco." Harry whispered harshly licking the outer shell of Draco's ear.
Draco shivered and replied, "Then make me scream."
They didn't worry too much over foreplay. They didn't really have all the time in the world at their disposal. They only thing they wanted, the only thing that could satisfy them, would be a mercilessly exquisite fuck.
And that's exactly what they did.
Sweaty skin, pounding hearts.
"Harry… fuck! Right there!"
Loud voices, quivering muscles.
"Ugh… so tight… Draco.."
This was what they wanted. Draco clung to the man above him for dear life. He felt as though he were falling through a bottomless put of unimaginable ecstasy. It filled all of his senses. It set his body ablaze.
"Harry!" He called out again.
Their paces quickened as they began to reach what would be a mind-blowing orgasm. Draco felt his lower stomach clench. He reached down to tug harshly at his swollen and nearly forgotten length. He looked up into beautiful emerald eyes as the heat began to pulse over him.
He wasn't sure if he screamed as he came, he couldn't hear it. But he could most certainly feel it. He could feel the thick, pearly streams of cum shooting out across his chest. He could feel the corded muscle in his neck as he threw his head back. He could feel that his mouth was open it what would be an agonizingly beautiful cry of completion.
His head was tight, as though it were being crushed. As though it weighed a thousand pounds. But his body seemed to just float on the tide of bliss. Completely weightless.
He both heard and felt when Harry reached his end. Harry's hand clawed at Draco's back and his face was twisted in pure pleasure. He felt Harry's seed fill his body before they both collapsed into the mattress that had no doubt seen plenty of lovers before them.
They settled there for a moment as they tried to catch their breath. But Draco was filled with such happiness. When was it that this had started? He could hardly remember. He had always wanted the Boy Who Lived. Ever since he hit puberty, suddenly jade eyes flashing in his direction was not annoying, but arousing.
Suddenly he found himself picking fights just to get his hands on that gorgeous body. And though for a while he had tried to deny it, he could not blind himself to the love he felt for his supposed enemy.
Harry Potter had been his childhood crush. And ever since they'd happened upon each other a few months ago, each of them in a drunken stupor, Draco had latched on to Harry even more.
Draco was supposed to have worked for the Order of the Phoenix. And he did what he could, but he had to be very careful considering his father watched him like a hawk. And he was close to the Dark Lord's side though he loathed his position. And would much rather be where he was now, next to Harry Potter, for the rest of his life.
Unfortunately, Draco had his doubts about Harry's true feelings. It seemed as though Harry was using the body of his former enemy to vent his frustration and stress. Draco felt as if his genuine feelings were one-sided. But that didn't stop him from meeting with him.
In fact their meetings had become more frequent. And Harry was rather kind to him. Maybe it wasn't so one-sided after all…
He was brought out of his thoughts by a groan. He turned to look at Harry who lazily lifted his lids and gazed back.
"I don't know how you do that to me. It's like the world is ending when we come together."
Draco smiled, "Look around Harry Potter. The world is ending. Actually, some might say the fact that you and I are having sex is undeniable proof of that."
Harry managed a breathless chuckle before he sobered and stared at Draco, "What's even more strange is that we do this so much and yet neither of us has said how we feel about each other… Do you still hate me?" Harry asked earnestly.
Draco swallowed a little; he wasn't use to voicing emotions. Except for anger of course…
"No, Harry. I don't."
"Then… how do you feel about me."
"I suppose…I love you."
Harry smiled. His smile was wide and happy. Like the sun breaking through the clouds. Like candy on a warm summers day. Like a light spring rain or a cool autumn breeze. Something beautiful and natural. Or maybe Draco's inner monologue was just too damn poetic for his own good.
"I'm glad Draco. I was beginning to think… I was the only one."
Draco felt heat rise to his cheeks, "The only reason I didn't say it was because I thought that you weren't interested in me like that."
"You thought I only wanted a fuck buddy and not a lover?"
Draco smiled and shoved Harry playfully before sitting up and righting himself against the pillows. He sighed contentedly listening to the incessant drum of the rain against the windows. He'd always liked the rain…
"You like the rain?" Harry asked suddenly.
Draco turned and glared, ready to accuse him of using Legilimency before Harry interrupted.
"Don't give me that look. I found you standing in the rain tonight, remember?"
Draco's mouth, which had been open ready to emit some sort of insult, quickly snapped shut. The room grew silent for a moment and Draco relaxed into the mattress again, though he stubbornly refused to answer.
"So you like the rain then?" Harry asked again after a few more minutes.
"Yes, Potter. But that's not important, or any of your business for that matter."
"…Just wanted to know more about you…" Harry muttered huffily turning away.
Draco sighed. He'd always been surprisingly good at pissing off the few people he actually cared about. But Harry was not someone he felt he could afford to loose. Time to suck up his infamous Malfoy pride and apologize.
"I'm sorry… it's sort of a strange subject for me."
Harry gave a half grunt in response. Draco waited knowingly. Harry Potter was not one to leave a question unasked.
Exactly 19 seconds later Harry finally asked, "Why is that?"
Draco smiled a little to himself at how predictable the boy who lived actually was, "Well I always think of my mother when it rains."
Harry turned with a pained look on his face, "You were thinking of your mother before we had sex?"
"Not like that! My thoughts were miraculously wiped away when you showed up but that's beyond the point."
Harry rolled his eyes and scooted closer to Draco, snuggling up to his side, "So why do you think of your mom when it rains?"
"I don't know really. When I was younger she used to tell me that when it rained the angels were crying or something. She liked the rain, and because I was always trying to impress my parents I began to like it too. And associate it with her… I'm talking too much aren't I?"
"Yup. But ts'alright. I'm not tired and I like listening to you. As long as you're not acting like a twat."
"I'll be on my best behavior then, but I make no guarantees."
A contented silence fell over the room and Draco snuggled close against Harry. He could hear his heartbeat. It was a quiet metronome to the rain making a strange sort of lullaby. Draco was nearly asleep, slowly floating off into unconsciousness…
"Draco…?" Harry started.
Draco was silent as he tried to decide whether to answer or pretend he'd already fallen asleep. Finally he replied, "Yes?"
"Well there's something I want to ask you. But I'm not sure if I should."
He sighed and sat up slightly, trying to wake himself up a little more. "Go ahead. Ask me anything."
Harry's smile dissipated and he turned to look up at the ceiling.
"I'm not sure when I'll get to see you again. And there's something I've been thinking about for a while…There's a promise I want you to make to me."
"What is it?"
"I want you to promise you'll do it before you hear what it is."
Draco's eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"Harry…"
"Please. It's only one promise. It's the only thing I'll ever ask of you."
"…Fine. I promise."
"You are a man of you're word, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am. Now tell me what the hell I just promised to do."
Harry sighed heavily but said nothing for a long while. Just when Draco was about to ask again, Harry finally spoke.
"When… After I kill Voldemort, will you… kill me?"
Draco jolted up suddenly very awake and turned to look down at Harry. Harry refused to look back staring steadily at the ceiling.
"What?!"
"I… I need someone to kill me, Draco."
"Why the hell would you… What the fuck are you talking about? After you kill the Dark Lord you'll be a fucking savior. Why would you want to die?"
Harry finally turned to look at him, "It's just what I want. There'll be nothing for me to stay for anymore. What purpose is the light if there is no darkness, you know?"
"No purpose… not even me?"
Harry's expression was pained, "I'm sorry. I know it's awful of me to want to die but. I've lived for others so long. I want to do something selfish. Just once."
Draco felt the prickle of tears behind his eyes, "You can't be serious. I won't do it. I just said I love you! You expect me to… k-k-k" Draco stopped speaking as he tried to calm his voice.
"You know, a wise man once said, Immediately after the villains die the heroes." Harry smiled bitterly, "It's what I want Draco. And if you refuse I guess I'll have to find someone else…"
It took all of ten seconds for this news to settle in. And once it did Draco did something he'd never done before in all his life. Not when his mother had died or when he'd been forced to be a death eater. He broke down… and cried.
Draco sobbed in Harry's arms. He was embarrassed but unable to stop, as though a dam had broken loose. Draco had never before acted like this. He was a Malfoy. Sobbing was just not on the list of accepted Malfoy behavior.
What had he gotten into? He'd rather have lived alone with Harry alive then to have gotten these few wonderful months knowing that Harry would soon die. To think that if Voldemort didn't kill Harry… he would…
He wailed with new found fervor as that thought crossed his mind.
"Y-You… can't. Please…"
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Harry continuously whispered.
Xx--XxX--xX
Draco's heart clenched painfully as he saw Harry kneel victorious over Voldemort's dead body. No one was around. It was only the two of them. Harry stood slowly and with effort. But when he turned to face Draco, he was smiling.
"You are a man of you word aren't you?" He asked and Draco shuddered at the familiar words.
Draco's wand had been cast aside in the scuffle but Harry quickly went to pick it up. He went back to stand in front of Draco and claimed his lips in a quick and loving kiss.
Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver chain, on it hung a silver ring with an emerald on it.
"It was my mother's. But I had it engraved with both our names. As a thank you. For everything."
Harry slipped the necklace around Draco's neck and kissed him again, more passionately than before. But when Harry pulled away Draco felt his wand being placed in his hand. And Harry's smile never faded.
Harry backed away a few feet and sank to his knees.
"Do you remember all the times in school when you bullied me and swore you'd be the one to kill me?" Harry chuckled.
Draco felt the tears begin to well up in his eyes.
"Please Harry… don't make me."
"Draco… this is all I've ever asked for. Just…"
Draco raised his wand in his shivering hand and pointed it at Harry's heart. He tried to stifle a sob but failed miserably.
"I'm sorry Draco. I love you."
"I… love you too."
Draco tried to push his sadness away. Harry's smile was strange. Considering the bloodstained room and the disgustingly twisted scene they had just been apart of. His smile just didn't match.
Draco sniffled and laughed a little, "You scared, Potter?"
Harry's smile broadened, "You wish."
Draco swallowed and tightened his sweaty palm around the handle of his wand.
"Avada…"
Xx--XxX--xX
"You didn't kill him, did you Malfoy?" Hermione asked again. Her voice was cold.
Draco smiled at the ground.
"I'm sorry." He whispered.
Ron lunged at the blond with a battle cry loud enough to disturb the centaurs deep in the Forbidden Forest. Draco hardly fought back. After that night, he'd been unable to sleep, to eat. To do anything. Guilt ate away at his heart endlessly.
"You fucking bastard!" Ron bellowed as others quickly rushed to pull him off of Draco.
Finally Ron was righted on his feet and held there by his father and Remus Lupin. Draco sat on the cold hard ground. He felt all of his emotions begin to well up inside of him. He buried his face in his hands and screamed a heartbroken sob as the tears he'd tried to hold in finally rushed in an endless torrent from his eyes.
He hadn't cried since that night… and now…
"You're not gonna get and fucking sympathy!" Ron yelled making another lunge though he was restrained.
"He asked me!" Draco wailed.
"Shut up, murderer!" Ginny scowled.
"Who asked you?" Lupin asked harshly.
"Voldemort of course." Hermione hissed.
"No…. Harry." Draco muttered.
"What?" Lupin asked genuine confusion crossing his face.
"Harry asked me to… He made me p-promise."
Somewhere in the back of his mind Draco had enough Malfoy left in him to be embarrassed by his stuttering.
"Liar! Harry would never-"
"We were sleeping together…" Draco continued. He didn't want to spill all of his secrets. But he couldn't keep them to himself. He couldn't hold all of it in anymore. It was too much for his heart to hold inside.
"That can't be true," someone muttered.
"With Malfoy?"
"Harry would never…"
Draco spoke up over the crowd, "It's the truth… and he made me… He said something about the heroes dying after the villains and that's the way he wanted to…"
"That story is highly implausible." Hermione said huffily, "There's simply no way-"
"He gave me this…" Draco said pulling the necklace off and holding it out.
That shut them all up. Instantly everyone silenced. From the looks on their faces he could tell more than a few of them recognized it.
Draco stood carefully. And turned away from the burning eyes to face the now completed mound of fresh dirt. He couldn't stop the words from spewing from his lips. As though they escaped of their own accord.
"He said he loved me… but he must have lied."
Hermione came up behind Draco as close as she dared, "Of all the things Harry was, he was not a liar." She near whispered.
"Then why…" Draco asked.
"…I… don't know." She replied. And Draco knew enough about Hermione Granger to know that those particular words hardly ever graced her lips.
"Why?" Draco asked again, "That is the question of life isn't it. So if I found the answer, that would make me God." He shook his head.
"Do you see what you've done, Harry? Do you see what you've left behind? We have to keep living, we have to keep struggling and now without you. Was it worth it? You thought it had ended… but it wasn't about the fight between you and the Dark Lord. Life is a constant struggle. This battle is far from won."
"He makes more sense than the damn eulogy did." Fred (or George) whispered.
"Draco…" Ginny started. And Draco turned to look at her surprised that she'd called him by his first name. She didn't say anything further but the remorse was clear in her eyes.
"You've even made a murderer out of me, your supposed love." Draco said to the grave.
But a grave could not hear him, nor could it respond. Draco used his shirt sleeve to scrub at the salty streaks his tears had left on his face.
And at that moment he felt a drop of water hit his cheek, but it wasn't from his tears. He looked up at the sky with a questioning glance before the rain began to fall. Slow at first and then pouring down and drenching them all.
In the background he could hear the loud sobbing of Hagrid and the sniffles of the rest of the crowd.
They had no scapegoat. They couldn't blame it all on Draco Malfoy to make this easier. And so now, they truly mourned the loss of their Hero.
And Draco mourned the loss of the most beautiful smile in all the world.
Even still he felt his lips curve up in a sarcastic smile of his own.
He began to chuckle at the rain and Hermione took a step back as if not sure he was mentally stable. And who knows, he probably wasn't.
"You see Harry? Even the angels are crying for you…"
Please review!!
__________________________________________ I'm tired of over working my poor beta. You all need to send her Christmas cards because she's so amazing! But I am currently looking for another beta because I simply do too much work to force it all on one person. So if you'd like to help me out you can email me at chidori_