Pairing: YukixShuichi (main), YukixTouma (implied).


Can't Hurt Me

The air is wrong.

Our apartment is always thick with cigarette smoke when I return home, so much so that I can barely breathe. You say that it helps you concentrate while you're working but I jokingly tease that it's because you're stressed at being away from me for the day while I'm at work. When you don't laugh along with me it hurts to realise that you haven't missed me in the slightest.

The sound is wrong.

As I take off my shoes I can usually hear you tapping at your laptop. You always leave the door slightly ajar and for a few seconds I like to watch your face as you stare at the screen. Have I ever told you how sexy you look with glasses on? I probably have, but you wouldn't believe me. Or more likely you wouldn't care.

The atmosphere is wrong.

A chill runs up my spine as I dump my backpack on the sofa. Everything feels wrong and I'm terrified to go further into your…no, our apartment. I creep slowly along the dark hallway, a soft yellow glow seeps out from under your office door. As I press my ear against the panel I can't hear the familiar clicking of keys, so I gently push the door open…

Empty. The room is dark save for a lamp on your desk. Your laptop is closed. Shaking slightly I make my way to the only other place you'd be.

The bedroom is dark too. Candles line the dresser and windowsills and rose petals lay n the bed sheets. A soft, warm cinnamon scent hangs in the air and reminds me of the incense sticks my mother used to burn. As soon as I open the door your lazy blue gaze has drifted to fix on me, and I just know that you expect me to believe that this is all for me.

It's wrong. I know it's wrong. But I want to believe it so badly that I'm willing to play pretend.

So I crawl onto the bed and let you take off my shirt…my jeans…until I can feel the electricity of my skin on yours. Your fingers run through my hair and suddenly all I can think of is you as you whisper in my ear. For a numbing second I really, truly believe that you love me. That this bedtime treat is all for me out of kindness…

And then I see Touma make his move and run from the closet, grabbing his jacket on the way out of your room. Your room, not ours.

I'm not shocked. I'm not even angry. You pretend not to have seen him and roughly press your lips to mine. I pretend too and press back with as much force as I can. I ignore Touma, and ignore the silent tears running down my cheeks.

As the saying goes…what I don't know can't hurt me.

Owari


Please review.

I may or may not continue this, views would be appreciated.

Completed: September 22nd 2007

Mayoki