*TequilaSidenotes- This is a gift for Castaway5, who wants me to publish something he can read. ( I typically write yaoi, he's extremely straight. Extremely.)

This is NOT slash, just to clarify.

This is a male/female OOC (out-of-character), slightly AU (alternate universe) story.

Don't like?

Don't read.

DON'T FLAME!

Cus no one likes flames.

All flames will be used to make coffee and s'mores to keep me up to write an extremely slashy scene between Tancred and Fidelio! Think I won't?

Try me.

And no, to those of you that read my slash story Way to ADD, I haven't quit at it, I just work from two different computers and the second chapter of that is on the other computer.

JFYI-They are 21, have left Bloor's Academy behind them and have moved out on their own. I have nopt read past the Castle Of Mirrors, so please, don't tell me what happens.

**DISCLAIMER- I do NOT own Charlie Bone! The Characters are owned by Jenny Nimmo! If I did own them, Fidelio most certainly would be a raging, flaming gay. Sorry Chris.

I also do NOT own Decode. The song is owned by Paramore, Fueled By Ramen and Decay Dance.

Sweet Illusion

A series of CharlieXOlivia Songfics

1. Decode

Fidelio Gunn rolled his eyes as he turned up his mp3 player, blaring Eyes On Fire by Blue Foundation, drowning out the sounds coming from the next room over. Charlie and Olivia were fighting again, this time apparently due to Olivia allowing Billy Raven to move in…without asking Charlie. Fidelio heard a crash and something breaking, and turned to look at the wall. He couldn't for the life of him why Charlie would let her move in, and never admit what he felt for the girl.

"Damn idiot."

*~*~*~*

How can I decide what's right
When you're clouding up my mind
I can't win your losing fight
All the time

Billy, a seventeen year old boy that was rather small for his age, was kneeling on the floor, picking up things that had fallen to the floor as the two adults in the house continued fighting.

"God damn it Charlie! Why do you have to be so fucking…" Olivia Vertigo stopped herself, running her fingers through messy purple hair.

"So what? So Fucking what?" Charlie Bone normally wasn't one to lose his temper, but he'd been quiet for far too long in his opinion. Olivia glared at him in that way that only she could and said, "So fucking stubborn!" She turned to seventeen year old Billy and said, "can you leave for a little, Billy? I know you just got out of a home where all your adoptive parents did was fight." Billy silently grabbed his car keys and left, not needing a coat on the warm August night. Olivia turned back to Charlie and said, "give me one reason, one reason he can't stay here!"

"because-"

"because what, Charlie!?"

"BECAUSE…" Charlie took a deep breath and ran a hand through his messy hair and sighed, trying to regain control of his temper before saying, "we can't afford it, Liv."

"he has a job, he's offered to pay rent and a third of the grocery bill!" Charlie looked at Olivia and said, "You keep trying to get him to stay but we both know that if we do it's gonna come back to bite us in the-"

"we can't send him back-"

"will you let me-"

"no! Because I know what-"

"OLIVIA SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP!"

"DON'T TELL ME TO-" Olivia gasped as Charlie pushed her backwards, knocking her onto the couch, knocking the air out of her lungs. She rebounded off of the couch and hit her face on the coffee table, tipping it and knocking the pictures of them and their friends onto the floor. The glass in front of the picture of just them shattered into several pieces.

No cover ever over what's mine
When you're always taking sides
But you won't take away my pride
No not this time, not this time

Olivia looked at Charlie with wide eyes. He looked at her for a moment, then felt a pang of fear at the realisation that he has just frightened the girl he had loved since day one at Bloor's. He watched tears form in her eyes, and he reached for her.

"Olivia…" She flinched and backed away, then ran out of the door. Charlie picked up the shattered picture frame and ran his fingers over the photo. It was the day they had went to the beach(1), and had decided to be photographed in front of the sunset. He relaxed and allowed his mind to enter the photo.

"Charlie come on , smile!" Olivia said with a laugh, her hair, then longer and blue, stringy and frizzy from the salt of the ocean water. Charlie groaned as he tried to smooth his messy hair, it didn't smooth and get a little frizzy like everyone else's when it came in contact with salt water, it just poofed. Olivia nudged him a little. "ow! Jeebus! I am smiling, Olivia."

"Aw, look at em! So cute!" Emma squeaked. Fidelio let out a joyous laugh, then said "one, two, three, smile!" Charlie hiked up on eyebrow and smiled as sincerely as he could while feeling slightly awkward with Olivia's weight on his back, her tan arms slung over his shoulders. She smelled like chocolate and peppermint, and he really wished he hadn't because now he was blushing as red as the crimson sunset in the back ground.

Charlie sighed as his mind returned to the present. They had only been seventeen then, and Olivia's beauty still went unmatched to anyone he had met. He walked out of the open door and out of the building, heading towards Ingledew's Bookstore, where he knew she'd be.

How did we get here
When I used to know you so well
And how did we get here
Well, I think I know how

Olivia walked rapidly down the street, trying to get as far away from Charlie and that damn apartment as possible.

Damn that Charlie! He's gotta be so fucking stubborn…and he hit me! Fucking jerk…where's Manfred when you need his sorry ass? I'd get him to hypnotise Charlie into walking into the ocean…no, Charlie can swim. Well…I think of something…

She had come up with twenty ways to kill Charlie and eliminated them all by the time she stopped at the bookstore. She looked in the glass door to see Payton Yewbeam reading a book, then heard footsteps rapidly approaching. She hid in an alley, then made an illusion of herself walking into the bookstore. She heard the bell tinkle twice, assuming once for the allusion and a second time for Charlie, and came out of the alley, heading for the Pets Café when someone grabbed her and pulled her into the back alley.

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood
But you think that I can't see

She opened her mouth to scream, but Charlie's voice whispered, "it's me! Don't scream." She turned around and pushed Charlie into a wall and kicked, aiming for his head. He grabbed her leg and said, "I was with you when you took those classes. It isn't gonna work on me, Olivia."

"let go of me." He dropped her leg and she took a swing at him, only to be pinned to the wall by her wrists.

"will ya stop?"

"no." she kicked Charlie in the groin, then when he let go, kneed him in the mouth, punched him in the solar plexus(2) when he was knocked upward, and ran around the corner as he fell to the ground.(3) Charlie curled up on the concrete, coughing and groaning. He couldn't for the life of him remember when they had taught that in karate, but more importantly, Charlie realised that she hated him. Because he had to go and lose his temper and push her like an idiot, She hated him and he definitely had a snowball's chance in hell of dating her.

Nice one Charlie Bone, he thought, you hit a girl, got your ass kicked by said girl, and probably lost out on the love of your life. Charming. Real charming. as the throbbing in his groin resided, he got up and slowly walked home, shutting the front door behind him and going to the bathroom. He pulled his shirt over his head and cut the shower on before looking at his mouth in the mirror. His lower lip was swollen, and there was a cut that Charlie hadn't noticed was bleeding. He grabbed a facecloth, dampened it with cold water, then pressed it to his lip. He stuck his free hand in the water of the shower, adjusted it, then threw the facecloth into the sink and undressed, throwing his clothes into the hamper in the hallway before stepping in.

What kind of man that you are
If you are a man at all
Well I will figure this one out on my own

An hour later Charlie was making a half-assed attempt to comb his hair when he heard the door open and said, "hey Billy, there's money on the table, pay for the pizza for me, will ya?"

"no because my name's not Billy." Charlie whipped around and shut the door by reflex, kept it closed out of embarrassment, partially because this is the girl that just kicked his ass and the rest because he was stark naked.

"So that's it? I'm gonna be talking to you through doors and screaming in your face from now on?"

You can be screaming on the same side of the door as me, preferably the bed- whoa, gotta watch that.(4)

"that's what you want, isn't it?" he heard Olivia sigh and said, "that's not true."

"It isn't? so you kicked me in the dick for no reason?"

"no to get you to let go of me! And you're the one hitting for no reason! I didn't know that was the kind of man that your mother and Masie raised you to be."

"it isn't! Liv, I lost control! I lose control once and suddenly I'm a woman beater!"

"I didn't call you that! I didn't call you anything!" Charlie sighed and sat on the floor in front of the door and said, "can we stop fighting? Okay, yes I pushed you, yes I lost my temper but can the fighting stop?"

"open the door."

Yeah…no, you're smokin' somethin lady.

"I can't do that, Olivia."

"why?"

"I'm uh…not…decent." Olivia groaned, and Charlie knew she had rolled her eyes as she said, "you're naked. Well get dressed."

"I uh…"

"forgot to take clothes with you, did you?" Charlie stayed silent and Olivia said, "open the damn door Charlie."

"no."

"will you just open the damn…" Charlie stood and open the door while she was talking, and realised she had been sitting against the wall with her eyes closed and didn't notice.

"I mean it's not like-"

"Olivia."

"I haven't seen a…human…penis…before?" she turned red and faced the other way, closing her eyes as handed Charlie a towel. Charlie bit back a laugh and said, "you were saying…?

"…I don't know…oh! I don't hate you! What led you to that rather inaccurate conclusion?"(5)

"the alley? The living room when you ran?"

"self defence and a reflex." Charlie laughed and said, "no, gagging is a reflex. You ran like you had drugs in your pocket and there was a K-9 dog on your ass." he made a circling motion with his finger, indicating that she should turn around so he could put on boxers. She turned, facing a wall until she heard a pair of jeans zip up.

"cock shy."

"you're the one blushing, I take pride in it." she rolled her eyes, then said, "why did you follow me?" Charlie swallowed hard.

(I'm screaming I love you so)
On my own
(My thoughts you can't decode.)

Charlie stepped up to her and said, "if I tell you, don't judge me." Olivi looked concerned and said, "I won't…what-"

"I can show you better than I can say it." which was true, Charlie was fair looking and witty, but a ladies man he was not. Olivia sighed exasperatedly(6) "then show-" Charlie grabbed her and kissed her, feeling her tense and then relax. He pulled away and said, "clear enough for you?"

"Charlie, I…I like you too." Charlie let go. So it wasn't clear. He would have to say it.

How did we get here
When I used to know you so well
And how did we get here
Well, I think I know how

"no, Olivia…I don't like you." Olivia looked completely confused.

"but you…and I…and you just…huh?" she looked on the verge of tears and screamed, "I am not a plaything! I am not here for when you can't get laid…

I'm a virgin. Charlie thought

"And need a quick fuck!"

I wouldn't rush that of all things…get your mind out of the gutter, Charlie!

"once again, you're getting fired up and you didn't let me finish. No, I don't like you, Olivia-"

"then what?"

"I love you, Captain Density!"

Do you see what we've done?
We're gonna make such fools of ourselves
Do you see what we've done?
We're gonna make such fools of ourselves.

Olivia looked at him and fainted.

*~*~*~*

Billy walked in and saw the broken objects, and Charlie standing over Olivia's unconscious body with a busted lip and bruised stomach, and did the first thing he thought of…

"FIDELIO!!!!!" There was a thud and a series of rapid footsteps before Fidelio ran into the open door with a bat and said, "'smatter? Whodunnit?"(7) Charlie stifled a laugh and Fidelio looked at him, wiping the smile off as he looked at Olivia.

"she fainted, I swear on a stack of bibles she did!"

"you're an atheist!"

"that's Tancred! I'm catholic!" Billy looked and said, "don't you read the torah."

"that's the Jewish, you idiot! And why the hell is Fido in the front door in nothing but his boxers with a bat?" Olivia sat up as she spoke, and Billy said, "I screamed because I thought Charlie pulled an alleged Chris Brown and beat the everliving out of you.(8)" Olivia rolled her eyes. "now that that's cleared up, Fido, leave, Billy go to bed, you have school, and Charlie I want to talk to you alone." Fidelio gave in to his inner six year old and said, "ooh!"

"leave!"

"yes'm."

(Yeah yeah)
How did we get here
When I used to know you so well (yeah, yeah)
Well, how did we get here
When I used to know you so well
I think I know
I think I know

Olivia shut the door behind them and he flopped on the bed. She flopped down beside him and said, "how long?" He looked at her and said, "for what?"

"how long have you loved me?"

"how long have I known you?" she leaned over and saw the bruise, touching it softly. He flinched from her fingers and said, "ow."

"sorry." she grabbed his hand. "so what now, Charlie Bone?"

"well, Olivia Vertigo, you can say no and this never happened, or you can say yes, and we just take it one step at a time."

There is something
I see in you
It might kill me
I want it to be true

*~*~*~*

yes, I am aware that the ending is sappy, but I am writing it for girls too. They can't always immediately jump in bed and have sex. I'm sure you all have cavities by the end of this, so Id recommend brushing your teeth while waiting for me to add a chapter next weekend.

(1) i have no idea where the actually live? does anyone know?

(2)Solar plexus- the heart-shaped space between your stomach and ribcage that, when struck, knocks the wind out of your opponent, thus disabling them for approx. 40 seconds and giving you 40 seconds to overpower them or run. How do I know this? I got kicked in it enough times helpng my friend with Kickboxing practise.

(3) this is an effective fighting technique. i've used it.

(4) sorry, i had to say it.

(5) that whole "incident?" based on true life accounts.

(6) whoo! SAT word of the day!!!

(7) i had a batty old lady that lived next door to me that, when i would sneak out and come back in through my window, come to my door with a bat and say someone was in my room.

(8) sereiously, have you SEEN her face? go on the TMZ website. if he really did it, he beat the SHIT outta her.