I'll be honest right now; I might not finish this story. This will be my first lemon if I even get that far. I will need reviews from others telling me if I should continue. Reviews will help me finish this story. Any opinions, criticism, whatever, will be very helpful.
Chapter One:
I hold my legs against my chest, wrapping my arms around them. I felt so dirty. I was violated…by my own father. But I wasn't surprised. I should have known this was gonna happen.
He whips me with his own belt, getting fully undressed, making me undress myself in front of him. He tells me to turn around. I do so, placing my hands against my dark blue wall. I bite my lip so that I can press down on it so I don't scream. Usually I bite down so hard that blood gushes out.
My bottom used to hurt so bad that whenever I sat down, I wanted to sit right back up. It stung, it burn so badly. But I've gotten used to it by now.
He's never gentle…he makes sure everything he does hurts. Sometimes it doesn't hurt as much as it does other nights.
I have scars everywhere on my body. But I guess this is what happens when I live with a drunken, abusive, father; physically abusive, emotionally abusive, and worse of all, sexually abusive.
My nightmares get worse. One minute I'm screaming out in pleasure from the one person I want to be with more than anything. The next, I'm staring into the eyes of a monster, smiling so evilly that I just want to die there. I'm screaming out in pain, begging for him to stop, but he just makes my whole body hurt more and I feel like I'm going to break any second.
Sometimes when I wake up screaming, my father comes back in, repeating the whole process over again. Sometimes I'm lucky and wake up with only a jolt, no screaming.
Once I hid in my closet when I heard him marching up in my room. That was such a terrible idea. He found me hiding behind my clothes and dragged me out of there in a heart beat. He said I've been a bad boy for hiding from him, and whipped me harder than ever before.
He told me to be a good boy and get on all fours. I did. What else could I possibly do? Tears trickled down my face as I felt him entering me. He didn't even wait for me to grow used to the feeling of him inside me. He never does. He just started pounding into me; ripping me until I could feel blood leaking out. But I didn't dare cry out. If I did he would have only pounded into me faster; hurting me more. He liked it when I begged for him to stop, liked it when I cried. That way he could gag me, hit me, and drive into me deeper.
I ran away once. Somehow my father found me. And he was drunk yet. How he found me, I have no idea. That's the day when I felt totally hopeless. No one could possibly help me.
I still remember his cold threatening words: "You're my son, if you ever try to run away again, I'll make sure everything gets worse." Somehow he managed to whip that same spot that hurt terribly, "You'll thank me for this later."
Thank him for what; hurting me in so many ways? For raping me, beating me? I don't think I will. What am I supposed to do? I'm trapped. No matter what I do, I always managed to be found. I'm so afraid. I feel my life slipping away every night.
No one can help me. My father said if I ever told anyone about this, he'd kill me so slow that I'd be begging to live, begging for him to stop. That's why no one knows. Not even my friends. They are so oblivious to know what's happening to me. All they know is that I'm changing more and more everyday.
"Someone," I whisper into the shadows of darkness, "help me."
I'm late for school like always.
I find myself not wanting to be around anyone anymore. All I want is to be left alone. As long as I'm not in that jail cell with that terrible monster, I'm fine.
I make sure I only have a few minutes to get to class so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yuugi, Honda, Otogi, and Kaiba were in my class. I usually talk to them, well, not Kaiba. He doesn't even glance our way. I know this because I'm usually always stealing glances his way. I find myself staring at the back of his head when I should be taking notes.
At first, I didn't even notice I was staring at him until Honda asked. I told him that I never look at him. Well, after that conversation with Honda, I noticed that one minute I'd be taking a few notes, doodling, writing whatever, and without knowing, I'm looking right at the back of his head. At first I felt embarrassed, but after a while, I didn't hide it.
We still got into our regular arguments about nothing in particular. I'll never admit this to anyone; especially Kaiba because I'll never hear the end of it, but I like it when he calls me mutt.
At first I hated that nickname, but after a while I became to grow fond of it, like it was my own nickname that he could call me. No one else. But I still pretend that I hated it, for I was afraid that if he found out that I liked him calling me that, he would stop using it.
I felt happy when he took notice of me. That's probably the only happiness I got anymore. I wish I could dream about him like I used to before things got more horrible.
I love it when he smirks when he gets under my skin. I love how he can stay so cool when steam is coming out of my ears. I just love everything about him.
"Jou!" I snap out of my thoughts when I heard a familiar voice. "If you can not stay awake during my class, than I'd appreciate it if you left." I look at Akihiko-sama and apologize. That's when I noticed that I was staring at Kaiba before Akihiko-sama interrupted my thoughts. And now…he was turned around in his chair, looking at me; right…into my eyes. I blushed and turned away quickly. I don't know what my eyes could tell him.
Akihiko-sama went back to the board to write more notes as he talked about our lesson.
When my eyes drifted back to Kaiba, I noticed he was no longer looking at me.
The next class; writing, wasn't so bad until I heard, "Group project." I didn't want to work with anyone. Isamu-sama seemed to be the only teacher who would put up with Kaiba when he broke out during class, saying he'd sue him and the school if he had to work with anyone. After a while, Kaiba decided that it was time to give up.
"Since I'm feeling generous today," I saw him glancing Kaiba's way, "you may work by yourself, but I expect a good grade." I stayed cool, but on the inside I was having the party of my life. There wasn't anyone in this class I liked anyways, well…except for Kaiba.
Our project was to make a poster or power point about a character from a play, book, or movie. Or just write an essay on someone we admired in real life. It didn't seem too hard. And it wasn't really like writing at all. Except if you decide to write an essay
After going to the back of the room where the laptops were located, I felt someone shove me against the closet door. I already knew who it was since there was no apology.
"Watch where you're going, mutt." I felt my blood boil. The nerve he has.
"I'm not a dog, Kaiba!" I hiss. He really knew how to get under my skin.
"Don't snap at your master." I could see a hint of a smirk crawling its way onto his flawless face.
I growled which made him laugh his stupid ass laugh.
"You sure do growl like a dog."
"You stupid ass head! Get a life!" With that said I walked back to my desk. What a shit!
Lunch was just boring. I really wasn't hungry. I was never hungry anymore. But if I didn't eat, I was sure to be asked a lot of questions from my friends. So I just forced food into my mouth, chewing reluctantly and letting it make its way down my throat.
Half of the day was over already and I was dreading going home like every other day. At least it's not the weekend…
I told everyone that I got a job for weekends so I couldn't hang out with them anymore. They asked where, but I snapped at them. We never talk about my so called "job" anymore.
"So you guys wanna go to the movies?" Yug asks us. Anzu, Honda, and Otogi said they were in. Then, they looked at me already knowing the answer I was going to give them.
"Work." Was my only reply. The nodded and we started talking about something else. Something I did not want to talk about.
"Jou got in trouble in first period today. He wasn't paying attention." Honda spoke. Yuugi looked at him with pleaded eyes, begging him to stop. Yuugi was the only one who noticed that the littlest things get to me lately. He wasn't as naive as the others.
"Figures. That's Jou for ya." Anzu added. I could feel my blood boiling. I knew what was coming up. I could feel myself ready to snap any minute.
"He was too busy staring at Kaiba." He made kissing noises.
"I was not!" I screamed. "I was most likely staring inta space! I would never look at him!" Some people were already looking at us.
Not a lot of people were eating outside today. It was a little chilly, but Yuugi insisted we eat out here.
"Geez man, chill. I was only kidding."
Sorry, man." I lowered my head in shame. I knew he was kidding, but I just couldn't help myself. I don't want them to know my secret that I was attracted to Seto Kaiba.
For the rest of lunch we ate in awkward silence. Way to go Jou…way to go.
The final bell rang. Everyone rushed out of the classroom as I stayed behind. I didn't want to get knocked around in the crowd.
I finally made my way to the door and was pushed into it.
"Masters first." Kaiba smirked. I could not stand him sometimes!
"Kaiba!" I tried pushing him but he moved out of the way and my head collided with the wall. Ouch!
"Listen mutt." I snapped to full attention. He sounded serious, like he really wanted me to listen. "I know you're not that smart and stuff so I'm going to let you work with me for the project."
"No way!" Here's Kaiba, telling me that he was going to give his time to work with me, but there goes my stubbornness.
"Fine, mutt. You're loss." Then he walked away, leaving me in the classroom by myself.
I sighed and walked to my locker to get my books and bag. After doing so, I started to walk home. The closer I get to the house, the slower I walk.
I wasn't sure if my dad would be home or not. He might be getting drunk at the bar or watching TV or something.
I take a deep breath, placing my hand over the doorknob. I open the door.
"Is that you boy?!" My heart drops.
Well there you have it.
This took me FOREVER to write!
Review please.
