Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I am currently negotiating with Kishimoto-ssi for the rights. –turns to Kishimoto and revs up chainsaw- You gonna give me Naruto or will I have to saw the rights out of you?!

Kishimoto: AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

Hey everyone!! This is my very first fanfic on Yay!! Please be gentle and enjoy the sugary goodness. If you don't like yaoi/shounen-ai well, just click that pretty little back button on your screen. Or better yet, stay and be tainted :3

Now, on with the show!! 3

Chapter One: Naruto Uzumaki

It was a blistering hot day, and Gaara was not happy in the least. Oh, he was used to the heat; he was from the desert, after all. He may not have liked it very much, but the heat was the least of his worries.

So what was bothering this red-haired lovely on this sweltering September day? Let's count the reasons:

One: He was in a new school and had absolutely no idea where to go.

Two: His idiotic older brother had brought home a new boy toy last night, so of course there was no sleep to be had in the house. Gaara could be surprisingly cranky when he was deprived of his usual one to two hours of sleepy-bye time.

Three: Temari had started drinking again. Usually Gaara didn't really give a crap, but she had been knocking them back for quite a while and started calling him "Grandpa Raccoon".

Four: …well, there isn't really a fourth reason. He just wasn't in a good mood, all right?

Anyways, Gaara was not in the best of moods. He wandered the halls, searching for the main office and inwardly cursing all of humanity, the heat, his siblings, and most of all, the construction crew and designer of this godforsaken building. Where the hell was the goddamned office…?!

His musings were interrupted by a blur of yellow and orange that crashed right into him, sending him tumbling to the floor. Growling, he opened his eyeliner-ringed eyes and stared up at the ceiling. This day was just getting better and better.

It was a couple of seconds before he realized that something heavy was breathing on top of him. Wincing inwardly as his neck cracked, he lifted his head and stared into a pair of breathtaking blue eyes. Those eyes were stuck in the head of a girl with short blonde hair and whisker-like scars on each cheek. She looked down at Gaara concernedly.

"Hey, hey! Are you alive?" Gaara blinked. That was almost definitely a boy's voice. "Ha! You're alive! That's good! Sorry for crashing into you," chattered the boy (girl? it?) animatedly. He (she? it?) seemed to be perfectly comfortable lying on top of Gaara as he chattered away.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki. Are you Gaara? The new student??" Slowly, Gaara nodded his head. "Well, that's great!! I was sent by Mr. Hatake to come and make sure you got to the main office OK! What—"

"Can you get off of me?" asked Gaara. At this rate, they were gonna be lying here all day. Naruto squeaked and leapt to his feet, blushing a bit. "I'm sorry about that! I totally forgot that I knocked you down!! So sorry!" He offered his hand to Gaara. "Here, let me help you up."

Gaara ignored the offered hand and got to his feet with one graceful movement. He was slightly startled when Naruto grabbed his hand and started dragging him along the hallways. "Here now, the main office…uhm…it should be right…here!!" He shoved Gaara into the room and smacked his back hard. "Good luck, dude!!! Hopefully we'll have some classes together!!" And with that, Naruto was out of sight. Gaara heard a sigh and a small chuckle. "Has he worn you out already, boy?" asked a lady with light blonde hair and an oversized bosom. Gaara tried not to stare.

"Here's my paperwork," he said in a monotone, handing the lady a sheaf of papers. The busty woman took the papers and twitched slightly – she hated paperwork. Oh well, she'd find some way to trick Yuki or Naruto into doing it for her.

"Good, good, this all seems in order, welcome to Konoha High, blah blah blah," said the woman, settling down into a swivel chair. "I'm the principal of this school, so you'll refer to me as Ms. Tsunade, got it?" Gaara gave a small grunt and Tsunade groaned inwardly. Great, she thought, another Sasuke Uchiha. Only without eyebrows and ten times the eyeliner. Shaking her head, she handed him a sheet of paper. "That's your schedule. And here," she continued, handing him a blue piece of paper, "is a map of the school." She took a black permanent marker and circled her office. "This is where we are now. Just go from here and the rest is easy. Now shoo! Have a good first day." She waved her hand at him, giving a clear dismissal. Gaara stood up silently and left the office, glancing at the map and schedule. First period was…English with Mr. Hatake in Room 251…Mr. Hatake…

Hadn't he heard that name before?