A/N: References events in 5x1, so it's spoilery for that episode. Set in my Lester/Becker 'verse that starts with "Promise Not to Try".
What He Deserves
At the sound of his office door opening, James looked up to see Becker enter and lean casually with his back against the wall. "Stand up straight, Becker, and at least pretend to be respectful."
Becker smirked but straightened up, stepping closer to James' desk. "Jess told me about the knighthood. It must have been a terrible blow for you."
"Yes, it was a disappointment, I'll admit. One does like to be appreciated, you know, given recognition for hard work that is done well. But if they choose to honour Burton instead, there's nothing I can do about it." James was hard-pressed not to sigh, but he was able to resist. Just.
"Would you like me to call you 'sir', darling?" Becker offered.
"Don't patronise me, Hilary. Besides, you're military. It's meaningless coming from you."
"If you say so. Well, try not to be too upset. It seems to me that it all evens out- you don't get a knighthood, I don't get a tank... We're all disappointed but we're no worse off than we were this morning."
"A tank was never even on the table." James was bitterly regretting that particular comment. How could he have known that Becker would take him seriously? Becker was normally so good at detecting when James meant what he was saying and when he didn't. He supposed that to Becker, there was no joking as far as weaponry was concerned.
"And apparently neither was your knighthood."
James crossed his arms over his chest and glared.
Becker raised his hands up, palms outward. "Sorry, sorry, maybe that was too much of a low blow. I can't help it if I'm rubbish at this comforting thing. Tell you what, if you can drag yourself away from the ARC at a reasonable time, I'll suck you off before dinner."
James watched Becker saunter out as though that had been a perfectly normal way to conclude a conversation. His hips swayed slightly with his steps, no doubt deliberately. Waiting until Becker had moved out of sight, James lowered his eyes to the work he should really get done before going home for the night.
Fuck it, James thought and picked up his briefcase, setting it onto his desk and opening it. He was damn well going to get thanks from someone.
Becker had been silently laughing at him ever since James had walked out of his office, James knew. The cocky bastard thought it was oh so hilarious that James was so eager to have his cock sucked. No matter. Becker certainly wasn't one to talk, considering the way he begged when they were alone in James' bedroom.
Still, James took great pleasure in watching that smug mouth filled by James' cock, watching Becker swallow it to the root.
The way Becker had said "Yes, sir" and sunk down to his knees hadn't been too bad either, if James was being honest. Perhaps he'd scorned Becker's earlier offer too hastily.
He had his hands on Becker's head, mussing Becker's neat hair with his fingers. Becker kept his hair so perfectly ordered, not a strand out of place, that James loved to wreck it, to make it stand up in whirls and spikes, like a reminder that Becker was his.
Becker pressed his tongue against the slit as he rolled James' balls in his hand, forcing a groan from James' throat. His amused chuckle vibrated around James' cock and James nearly groaned again, tugging more forcefully on Becker's hair.
James knew that Becker liked to watch his face so he was constantly darting glances upwards, watching James from under those long eyelashes. It had made him uncomfortable at first, to know that he was being scrutinised so closely, but he didn't mind it now; he knew that it was only Becker wanting to know James was enjoying it, wanting to see the effects of what he was doing.
His hips were jerking of their own volition and James tried to hold back, not to thrust too hard into Becker's face, but there was only so much he could do. Becker's fingers were digging into his arse through his trousers, holding him in place while Becker licked and sucked. The tip of James' cock nudged the back of Becker's throat and he hollowed his cheeks, the delicious suction pushing James right to the edge and then Becker did that amazing thing with his tongue and that was it.
He choked back a cry as he came, spilling down Becker's throat, feeling him swallow around James' cock. His legs trembled slightly underneath him and James wished for something to brace himself with, but had to settle for clenching his hands in Becker's hair. Becker suckled at the head of James' cock, licking up every last drop of James' come, the sight of him as incredibly sexy as it always was. Every so often it boggled James' mind that this young, attractive man wanted James as much as James wanted him.
Becker rocked back onto his heels, licking his lips. "I know it's not a knighthood, honey, but you have to admit, that was a damn fine reward."
James smiled and joined Becker on the floor, dragging him into a messy kiss. It wasn't a knighthood, but it would do.
Much later, when they were lying in bed together, legs tangled and Becker's head pillowed on James' chest, James said, "Thank you for doing as I asked at the shopping centre. I know it mustn't have been easy." He didn't normally like to bring work into the bedroom, but he couldn't get the day's events out of his mind. It had so nearly been a disaster and fussing about knighthoods could only distract him for so long.
Becker was silent for so long that James thought he wouldn't say anything at all, but finally he said, "You're the boss, James. Matt might be team leader, but you're... You're the boss."
"Well, yes, obviously, but... I didn't know if they were clear, but you didn't even hesitate."
Becker lifted his head and shifted, straddling James and looking him straight in the eye. "It was the right decision. I knew it, even if I don't know whether I could've made it on my own. I trust you to make the right decision, James, always."
Something in the way Becker said it made James feel... strange, somehow, like he couldn't process exactly what he had done to earn that level of complete confidence. He didn't know how to deal with it, how to respond, how... how Becker could say such a thing and mean it. He spoke just to fill the air. "I wouldn't ever put any of you at risk unless there was no other option; you know that, don't you? I wouldn't-"
"Shh," Becker said, palms cupping James' face, thumbs stroking his cheeks. "Of course I know that. You made the right call and no one was hurt."
James wanted to say that he hadn't known it would all be okay, that he had made a split-second decision that could have sent Matt and Connor to their deaths with the push of a button. A button that he had ordered Becker to push. He wanted to say that he was excellent at faking it but the truth was he had no idea what he was even doing half the time, so how could Becker trust him? But Becker was just watching him with those warm brown eyes of his, like he could see everything that James was thinking and feeling and it didn't change anything. And then Becker kissed him, just a soft, easy press of lips, like they had done innumerable times before, and suddenly none of it seemed that important anymore.
End
