Fixing Broken Children
Caleb was happy to be back at the farm. He hadn't seen Pastor Jim since Mackland Ames had officially adopted him 6 months earlier, and he had wanted to see the man again. After all, he had helped Mac get him out of the mental hospital he was being held in, and had told him he was psychic. He had thought he had cause his grandmother's death when he had seen a vision of her dying, and now he realized he had just seen a death vision. Mackland was helping him work on his abilities, and they were getting better, and he was learning he could not stop the death visions, and he couldn't save everyone. When he arrived at the farm John Winchester was there. He was the new knight of the Brotherhood, and he had two young sons. Sam was a drooly one year old, and Dean was a five year old who didn't talk to anyone. He hadn't spoken a word since his mother was killed 6 months earlier. Caleb had only met them once before, and at thirteen wanted nothing to do with the two children, but there was something about Dean that haunted the teen. He knew the look in the child's eyes. He had seen too much, Caleb had that same look in his eye when he had watched his father kill his mother when he was six. He could see a broken soul looking back at him every time he made eye contact with the kid. Sometime Dean would sit quietly in the corner, staring into space, almost like he was some place else. The only person that seemed to break Dean out of his shell was Sammy. Whenever the baby cried, or whined Dean was instantly alert, and seemed to know exactly what Sam needed. Dean took better care of his brother then John ever did, the child was too old for his age.
"Caleb, it is good to see you again." John Winchester said. He held out his hand and Caleb shook it. He found the Knight to be a strong leader, and it intrigued Caleb.
"Good to see you too, Sir." Caleb replied.
"Caleb, my boy, I need to ask you a favour." Pastor Jim said walking into the kitchen with Sam in his arms.
"What's that Jim?"
"We seem to be having a bit of a space problem in this house, and Bobby is going to be here soon. I was hoping you wouldn't mind bunking with Dean and Samuel tonight." Caleb certainly did mind, he was not looking forward to sharing a room with a baby and a mute five year old for the next two weeks, but he wasn't about to tell the Guardian that.
"No problem, Pastor Jim."
"I have told you before Caleb, just call me Jim. My family doesn't call me pastor." Caleb shifted awkwardly, but didn't say anything. He wasn't quite used to this whole family thing yet. Dean walked in behind Pastor Jim and grabbed his father's pant leg. "Dean my boy, do you remember Caleb?" Dean nodded and then hid his face behind his father's leg.
"DE! Down!" Sam shrieked and began to squirm in Jim arms. Jim lowered him to the ground. He began to crawl over to his brother and Dean stepped out from behind his father and sat down on the ground so that the baby could crawl into his lap, and Dean wrapped his arms around the baby and smiled and playfully tickled his brother. John smiled sadly at his children, wishing he could see his oldest as happy as he used to be. What he would give to hear his voice again.
"I think it is time for bed boys." John said taking Sam from Dean's arms.
"I can take him if you want, Sir. I am bunking with them tonight anyway, and I didn't sleep on the flight, kinda tired myself." John seemed to think on that for a moment, before handing Caleb his son.
'Be careful with him, Dean go with them, and stop giving me that look son, Caleb isn't going to hurt Sam." Dean was staring at John hard like he had just betrayed him, but then looked away and followed Caleb up the stairs, never taking his eyes off of his brother. Caleb put Sam down in his crib and the baby's eyes begin to droop almost immediately. Caleb turned toward Dean; the boy was staring at him.
"I uh… am just gonna go get changed. I will be right back, okay?" Dean dropped his eyes, and turned towards his bag that was on the floor and began to pull out pajamas, so Caleb went into the bathroom and changed into his own clothes, and when he came back, he saw Dean quietly whispering to his baby brother. It was the first time he had seen the boy's lips move, but he couldn't make out what he was saying. When Dean noticed he was being watched he went silent again. "So Dean, do you want the top bunk, or the bottom bunk?" Dean didn't answer, he just went straight to the bottom bunk, guess Caleb had his answer. Caleb climbed the ladder of the bed and settled in. He didn't know how long he had been asleep when he heard the whimpering from below him. It started out quiet but then it started to get louder, so he climbed down the ladder. Dean was tossing and turning, and there were tears leaking out from under his eyelids.
"Dean? Wake up." The boy just kept gasping for air, but he didn't wake up. Caleb put his arm on the boys shoulder, and was sucked into the boy's horrific nightmares. Caleb saw fire, and a women burning on the ceiling. He knew it was Dean's mom. Caleb could feel the boys panic. "DEAN!" Dean's eyes sprang open and he began to scratch manically at his arms, struggling to breathe. "Jesus, take a deep breath." Caleb looked down at the boy's arms and saw that Dean was bleeding from the scratches on his arms. "Dean stop! Please." He grabbed the boy's wrists and dragged them to the ground, and Dean continued to fight him and panic, Caleb could feel the blood on his hands from Dean's arms.
"Caleb please let me go!" Caleb heard the voice clear as day, and he let go of Dean. Dean crawled to the wall and curled into a small ball.
"Did… did you just tell me to let you go?" Dean stared up at the boy with a look of shock.
"You can hear me?" Caleb was shocked, Dean was talking, he was thinking at him.
"Yeah I can hear you. You are bleeding kid, let me take a look?" Dean nodded and scooted close enough to Caleb so that he could look at his arms.
"Did you see it?"
"See what?"
"The fire." Caleb didn't answer, the boy didn't need to know.
"Will you be okay for a second. I want to go get your dad to bandage these up." Dean nodded again and crawled up onto the bed. Caleb went downstairs and knocked on John Winchester's door.
"What's going on kid?" John said tiredly.
"Dean had a nightmare, and he scratched his arms up pretty bad."
"What?"
"He woke up having a panic attack and started scratching at his arms, I stopped him, but he is bleeding, I told him I was going to come get you."
"Jesus Christ okay." John walked out of his room and Caleb grabbed him by the arm.
"I saw it. The fire, your… your wife burning. Dean saw it too. That is what he is having nightmares about."
"You saw it? How is that possible?"
"I don't know, I touched his shoulder to wake him up and I got sucked into the nightmare. He asked me if I saw the fire, I didn't say anything though."
"Wait, Dean talked to you?"
"Not exactly, he was more like… thinking at me. I will have to talk to Mac, figure out how that is possible."
"Okay, kid. Come on I am gonna need your help." John grabbed the first aid kit from the kitchen and went up the stairs. Caleb followed and stood in the doorway of the bedroom and John wrapped up Dean's arms. Dean didn't even make eye contact with his father. "We will talk to Mac tomorrow Caleb, for now just get some sleep." John patted the boy on the shoulder, and went back to his room. Caleb sat down next to Dean and rubbed a hand over his face.
"Dean?" The boy didn't make eye contact, but turned his head enough toward Caleb so that the teen knew he was listening. "I am gonna tell you something that I have never told anyone before. I mean, Mac knows what happened, but we have never talked about it. Mac isn't my real Dad you know; he adopted me almost a year ago. When I was younger, I lived with real mom and dad, and when I was six I watched them die." Dean looked at Caleb now. "I understand why you aren't talking kid, because it hurts too bad. I didn't feel like talking either, but you can talk to me if you want. Or you know, think at me if you don't want to talk." Caleb smiled, and lifted an old copy of the Three Musketeers out of his bag, and pulled out a two of spades out of the book. "This is a deuce card, and it is very special to me. My dad gave it to me before he died. I have a feeling you and me are going to be in each other's lives for a long time, and you are going to be special to me. So I am going to call you Deuce from now on, okay?" For the first time, he saw a genuine smile grace the small boys face.
"I like that name Caleb, but I can't talk." Caleb smiled.
"You talk to Sammy, I saw you."
"Sammy needs stories, and Daddy doesn't tell stories anymore, but I like my quiet place. Things hurt less there."
"Okay Deuce. Just promise me something? Don't get lost in your quiet place. I like hearing your voice, even if it is only in my head."
"I get lost sometimes, but Sammy brings me back." Caleb suddenly understood why Dean looked so spaced out sometimes. He really wasn't here with them, but Sammy's cries always broke him out of that fog.
"What's in your quiet place, Deuce?" Dean's eyes filled with tears.
"Sammy and Daddy, and… mommy. It's warm there, and it doesn't hurt so much."
"I'm sorry that it hurts Deuce."
"It hurts so bad it hurts to breathe… will that ever go away?" Caleb sighed.
"It will never go away Deuce, but I promise it will get better someday, and now you can talk to me, and some day when you feel like talking again, you have people here who will listen, People who consider you family. Now I want you to go to sleep." Caleb went to stand up, and felt a hand reach out and grab his shirt.
"Can you stay with me? Sometimes it keeps the monsters away."
"Sure, Deuce. Just don't tell anyone I did anything so girly okay?" The small boy laughed and scooted over. Caleb lay down on the bed, and watched Sammy's breathing, how the Runt managed to sleep through all this was he would never understand. He felt Dean move closer to him, and Caleb put his arm around the boy's shoulders. Within minutes, they were asleep.
