Hey guys! I have been thinking about writing this fic for a while! It's Glee but with the movie Clueless' plot. I guess you don't really have to watch the movie to read this, but if you do it's on Netflix! I really hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or Clueless.
Note: Kurt's thoughts are in italicize once the story begins.
…
Looking out the dirty old window
Outside the cars in the city go rushing by
I sit here alone and I wonder why
…
Kurt Hummel sits at his vanity in his spacious bedroom, styling his hair to perfection. He looks at his room through the mirrors refection and smiles at all of the expensive things neatly put around it. And he speaks to the invisible audience in his head.
"Okay, I know what you're thinking. Is this another rich, stuck up boy movie, or what? But, really, I have a pretty normal life for a teenage boy. I get up in the mornings, brush my hair, and pick out my school clothes."
He pushed shuffle on his IPod and walked over to his huge walk-in closet and over to the program that helps him pick out his clothes. It looks like a computer, but touch-screen. He tapped it on and a model of himself came on, naked, only having on Calvin Cline boxers on. Kurt pressed the button "browse" and clothes immediately came on his model. He winced and shook his head at how ugly the colors were together. He pushed it again and a better match came on and he pushed "dress me" but the machine beeped and said "Not a match." He frowned and pushed it one more time and a gorgeous outfit of skinny jeans, vests, and scarves popped up and he smiled, and nodded his head once, content with it.
He gets dressed and comes out of the closet (No pun intended), looking like a million bucks. He grabbed his satchel and headed downstairs toward the kitchen to make his dad, Burt Hummel, his morning juice.
"Dad's a litigator. That's the scariest type of lawyer. Even our maid, Carol, is scarred of him. He gets to fight with people all day and get 500 dollars an hour. But, he fights with me for free, because I'm his son."
Burt walked into the kitchen in suit and tie just as Kurt pored the last of his juice.
"Here Dad." Kurt tries to shove the cup into Burt's hands.
"No, Kurt, not with the juice again." He walked around the kitchen, Kurt chasing him.
"But, the doctor said you have to get your vitamins!"
"Where's my briefcase?"
"It's been a couple of months now, so I think we should go out to Malibu."
Burt turned to look at him," Oh, don't tell me those brain dead low life's called again."
"Well, they are your parents."
"No. Oh, and by the way, Blaine's in town and is coming for dinner"
A horrid look came onto Kurt's face. "What?! Why?"
"Because he's your step-brother!"
"But you were barely even married to his mother, and that was five years ago! Why do I have to see Blaine?" he insisted.
"You divorce wives not children." Burt replied.
Kurt sighed and tried to hand him the juice. "Here."
"Forget it!" Burt yelled and walked out the door, held open by carol.
He walked out moments later, and over to a white car and got in it.
"Did I show you the pimped out Jeep Dad got me? It's got four wheel drive, dual side air bags, and monster sound system. I don't have my license yet, but I need something to learn on."
He turned a corner and rammed into a potted plant on the curve, but kept on driving.
"Well, that came out of nowhere!"
…
Kurt pulled up a huge brownish brick house with a wonderful green garden and a big wall of trees surrounding it, only letting up at the entrance.
"This is where my best friend Mercedes lives. We're friends because we both know what's it's like to have people jealous of us. But, I have to give her props on her amazing fashion choices."
"Dude!" Mercedes screamed once she got out of her door.
"Girlfriend!" Kurt shouted back. Once the black girl got into the Jeep, the two friends did a handshake in greeting and Kurt started the car up again. He looked up and her outrageous hat and said, "Go shopping with Dr. Seuss?"
Mercedes picked up Kurt's fuzzy satchel." At least I wouldn't skin a dog to make my backpack."
"It's faux!" Kurt argued back. He rounded a corner and completely disregarded a stop sign.
"Uh, hello? There was a stop sign!"
"I totally paused!"
Mercedes nodded and muttered," Yeah, okay."
…
Kurt and Mercedes were walking down the sidewalk in there school's courtyard, Mercedes ranting on.
"Ugh, it's only 8:30 and Matt is already calling me."
"He's so possessive." Kurt chuckled to her knowingly.
"Yeah, this weekend, he called me up and was like, where were you today? And I was like, I'm at grandmother's house…"
Kurt stopped listening and thought in his own mind.
"Mercedes is in this dramatic relationship with her boyfriend Matt. I think they've seen that Ike and Tina Turner movie way to many times."
"'Cedes, you could do so much better!"
"Shh, here he comes."
Matt walks in, barley holding his pants up, and comes over to Mercedes. "Woman-"
Mercedes interrupts him," I hate it when you call me "woman"!"
"Why haven't you been answering me calls. Are you jeepin' behind my back?"
"Jeppin'?" She asks him and then Kurt.
"No I haven't. But talking about the unfaithful sex, tell me why I found this cheap Kmart hair extension in the back seat of your car." She holds up a clip-in weave that she got from out of her bags to show to the people who had gathered around them in interest.
"I don't know where that came from! It looks like one of those that you got up in your hair." He indicated to her head.
"I do not wear polyester!" She screamed.
This was when Kurt had enough. "'Cedes, I'm outie!"
"Bye." Was all the other girl said before returning to her fight.
Kurt walked away slowly and thought to himself.
"I don't know why Mercedes is dating a high school boy. There like dogs. They smell bad and you have to feed them, and clean them. It's disgusting."
A scrawny boy came up to him and put his arm around Kurt's shoulder, and Kurt immediately shoved him off.
"Get off me! Ugh! As if!" He brushed himself off and kept on walking to his next class.
…
Okay guys! Hoped you liked it! I'll update as soon as I can. Review if you want me to continue, because if you don't, I won't, so you should. Bye!
TBC
xxKurtcoBlainexx
