Chapter 1 - A New Beginning?
It's the morning; just a week after of what was meant to be the happiest day of Sophie and Sian's lives, but soon turned sour into their worst nightmare.
Sophie has buried herself in her room for the past few days, not even leaving to come out for some food. Only eating and drinking what Sally had brought up to her room.
Sophie is wearing Sian's pyjamas that she left behind, with her head resting against Sian's pillow that still has the vague scent of her hair.
For the past few days, Sophie keeps reminding herself of the heartbreak that she has caused for both her and Sian, going over and over in her head what she could have done differently to change things. She wished that she could go back in time to change what happened at the wedding, she still cries herself to sleep at night thinking about her stupidity.
Sophie talks to herself in her mind saying, "why did I ever have a doubt about marrying Sian, she's the best thing that has ever happened to me, we were inseparable, I'm such an idiot, how could of I not realised it. Now she's gone, the only thing I can think about is me and her being with each other for the rest of our lives, she is the only person I will ever want to be with, we've lived together for over a year and now it's all gone. I've screwed everything up. My life is a screw up and it will never be the same again".
Sally knocks softly on the door; with no answer she opens the door. "Can I come in?" Sophie shrugs her shoulders as usual these days as Sally shuts the door quietly and slowly makes her way to Sophie's bed and sits on the edge.
"When I found out your father had an affair I was devastated. I lost the love of my life, the person who I shared so many memories with, like getting married, having you and Rosie, when you said your first words. Now you that the both of you are older you can't stop bickering with each other, until now. It makes me sad to see you like this, this quiet and unhappy".
"Well no offence mum but I don't think my dad's affair with Mollie is hardly the same as me getting cold feet at the altar, do you?"
"Well what I was trying to say was I felt exactly how you feel now. Not only did I lose my husband but I lost my best friend, the person who I could talk to anything and anyone about, and all I wanted to do was what you are doing right now, keep myself locked in my room all day, away from the world. Do you know what got me through it?" With no response from Sophie, Sally continued to talk.
"It was you, and of course Rosie, you became the two most important people in my life, I wanted to care for you and I still do. If I failed at being a good wife then the least I could do was be a good mother to you and Rosie".
"You weren't a bad wife mum, dad did love you y'know".
"Yeah well he had a funny way of showing it, look what I got in return. Hey why don't you go and have a shower or a bath and I'll make you something to eat".
"I don't really feel like it".
"Oh go on it will make you feel better, I promise".
"Okay" Sophie said with lack of enthusiasm.
Sophie came downstairs with towel dried hair, wearing a cosy long jumper and leggings, making her way to sit at the table.
"Feel better?" Sally asked with anticipation in her voice.
"Yeah, thanks". Sophie said as she put on a fake smile so that her mum doesn't think that all her efforts have gone to waste.
"I'm sorry I can't keep you company but, you get this down ya neck, I've made ya' favourite boiled egg and toast. Right it's time for me to go to work now but I can check up on you during my lunch hour".
"Mum you don't have to do that. I'm not a kid, I'll be fine".
"Okay then well if you're sure. I've got to go now otherwise I'll be late. I don't want Mrs Connor to catch me out when it's my turn to do the coffee run. Okay I'll see you later, bye" she said whilst picking up her coat and handbag as she was walking out the door in a hurry".
Sophie only ate half of the food Sally made for her, putting the dish in the sink; she then made her way to the sofa, grabbing the closest cushion to hug against her stomach. She turned on the TV with the remote and started to flick through the channels, none of them appealed to Sophie, resulting in Sophie watching the Jeremy Kyle show. The scenario featured 'I think my fiancée is having an affair with another woman" Sophie immediately turned the TV off chucking the remote back on the coffee table, clutching the cushion with both arms, with her head buried in the top of the cushion.
A few minutes later she decided to go out window shopping, it's always what she and Sian did when they wanted to be themselves before they came out. Sophie put on her coat and boots before heading out the door.
As she got off the bus and walked through town, Sophie started to relive the happy memories her and Sian shared together when they were in town, like when they used to catch each other off guard when giving each other sneaky kisses when they were somewhere quiet or no one was looking. Sophie also remembered there little inside jokes that they shared together that would grab strangers' attention when they randomly started laughing.
As Sophie remembered the memories she became sad and sat down on the nearest wooden bench. She wanted to suppress her feelings and make them go away, she was sick and tired of feeling the way she did. Just as that thought came through her head, there was a sign that caught the corner of her eye from the sun's reflection, it said '15% off all booze'. Sophie was hesitant at first but then thought to herself. "Well is it gonna get any better if I don't?" So she made her way to the shop and grabbed the biggest bottle of booze she could get her hands on. Sophie thought that they wouldn't serve her again when she was drunk so she bought three bottles.
Day turned into night and Sally had finished work for the day and returned home, she shouted out to Sophie "I'm back" as she took her coat off and placed her keys on the table next to the stairs. With no reply Sally became worried and phoned Sophie. Sophie became too drunk to realise her phone was ringing as it was on vibrate. With no answer Sally left her a message saying "Hi Sophie it's just me, I'm sure you're alright but when you get this call or text me okay" and hung up.
Sophie continued to drink whilst she walked the streets, as it became darker Sophie became more vulnerable. A group of lads came up to Sophie and said "having a bad time?" A guy teased. Sophie responded with "I'm fine just… Just leave me a... Alone". Another guy said "well I thought we could make you feel better, y'know". He said as he pinned Sophie up against the wall, thrusting her thigh.
Maddie was walking up the same street and saw that Sophie was being teased and groped which sent alarm bells ringing in her head that she should do something. So with a big voice she shouted out "Oi what do you think ya' doin'? Maddie shouted as she walked closer to the victim. Another guy came up close to Maddie and said "Do you want some an all then?" Maddie shoved the guy away from her taking the glass bottle away from Sophie and smashing it against a brick wall to use as a weapon, "Just back off okay?" the group of guys didn't think it was worth the effort and walked away. The guy that was holding Sophie threw her to the floor, making her have shattered glass in her knee.
A few seconds after the guys had walked away Maddie started to help Sophie up from the ground.
"Are you okay? Maddie asked with a concerned tone to her voice.
Sophie still being a little out of it, it took her a couple seconds longer to respond, having to really think about how she felt as all her emotions felt numb from the alcohol.
"Yeah I'm fine, it's just my knee" Maddie quickly glanced at Sophie's knee and briefly saw that some of the shattered glass impaled her knee when Sophie fell to the ground.
"Let's just sit you down and I'll have a proper look at ya knee" Maddie said whilst helping Sophie walk to the nearest bench".
When Sophie sat down she began to sober up a little bit, she was still drunk but at least she could talk properly. Maddie examined Sophie's knee and saw the glass sticking out. "We should really take you to hospital, you might need stitches".
"No no no no, that's the last place I want to be right now, can't ya just take the glass out ya self" Sophie replied, not knowing how serious the injury could be.
"I could but you might still have some glass left in ya knee"
"Well that's a risk I am more than willing to take".
"Ooh bit of a dare devil aren't ya... You really don't want to go to hospital do ya". Sophie shakes her head, which Maddie found too cute to disagree with.
"Listen I can't take the glass out here, why don't you come with me to my place and I'll take the glass out there, it's not far, it's literally just round the corner". Sophie somehow felt secure with the stranger she had just met so she agreed saying "Yeah sure, but first, what's your name?".
"Maddie, my name is Maddie, what's yours?"
"Sophie"
"Right then Sophie let's help you up" Maddie helped Sophie hobble all the way to her house.
"Sit ya self-down, make yourself comfy while I try to find some bandages and other things I might need". Maddie came back with a huge plaster, bandage, tweezers, some tape, scissors and a cleansing wipe.
"Do I really need all that just for a few cuts on ma knee".
"Well you won't let me take you to the hospital so this will have to do". Maddie sat on the coffee table opposite Sophie and laid the equipment out next to her. She began to take the glass out very cautiously so that no flecks of glass would break off and be left in Sophie's knee but fast enough so that it wasn't torture for Sophie. Once she took all the glass out Maddie needed to clean the wound which involved Sophie having to take off her leggings.
"I'm not trying to be creepy or anything but I need you to take off your leggings so I can clean your cuts and put the bandage on, here's a blanket to cover your legs, would you like me to make you some tea while you get undressed?"
"Yeah that would be nice thanks". Sophie just agreed and went along with everything Maddie was saying to her, as she still didn't really understand what she was doing, but knew that Maddie was a person that she could. Maddie gave her a friendly smile as she was leaving to head for the kitchen.
As Maddie was leaving Sophie thought to herself, "Shit, she smiled at me. She's just being friendly she's not into girls. I can't start these feelings anyway, it's still WAY too soon after Sian. Even by the way she looks screams saying that she doesn't play for my time anyway". Sophie mumbles away to herself in the hopes to convince her brain to not start to have feelings for someone so soon after Sian.
Sophie took all her clothes off from the waist down leaving her pants on. Sophie carefully took her leggings off, trying to avoid making her knee hurt any more than it already did, then sat down and placed the blanket over her thighs, ready for when Maddie came back in the room.
A few minutes later, Maddie came back in with two mugs of tea in each hand, giving Sophie's to her as she sat down on the coffee table directly opposite, and placing her own next to her. Maddie carefully lifted Sophie leg up and placed Sophie's foot on the edge of the coffee table in between Maddie's thighs. This made Sophie start to feel uncomfortable as the butterflies in her stomach began to grow and become more intense. Maddie could see the vulnerable look in Sophie's eyes and tried to reassure her by placing her hand under the calf of Sophie's leg. Sophie could see that Maddie was only trying to be kind, but it didn't help how she felt as Maddie's lingering hand only made things worse. Sophie hated herself for starting to have new feelings for a different girl, especially as it was her feelings that did the damage to her and Sian's relationship in the first place. But Sophie could never forget Sian, the new feelings that she was having for Maddie would never replace how she felt about Sian.
Maddie ripped open the cleansing wipe and started to clean Sophie's wound interrupting Sophie's short daze. Sophie tried to hold in her pain but in the end and had to admit.
"Jesus Christ, that stings like a bitch"
"Sorry, but my mum always used to do it for me so I just figured this would be the best thing for you".
"Geez, how much longer are you going to wipe for, it feels like I've been sting by a 1,000 stinging nettles".
"Oh come on, it's not that bad, don't be such a baby. Have you seen your cuts? They're pretty deep so unless you want an infection, I think you would rather stick to the disinfectant wipe". Maddie replies sarcastically.
"Yeah exactly, they're pretty deep. So go easy".
"Well I guess that's the price you have to pay for not wanting to go to hospital, unless you've changed your mind?" Maddie responded sarcastically.
"Nope". Sophie replies, admitting her defeat and that Maddie was right.
After Maddie cleaned and bandaged Sophie's knee up, Sophie couldn't but feel so grateful for Maddie's help.
"I don't think I said this before but I just wanted to say thank you for saving me, most people wouldn't have done what you did, they probably would of just pretended that they saw nothin', as they wouldn't have liked to risk their own safety, so thank you for saving me. I have no idea where I could've ended up if it wasn't for you, for all I know I could be lying dead on the ground, God knows where". Maddie didn't like the thought of seeing Sophie dead on the ground somewhere. From what Sophie's seen so far Maddie appeared to have a kind soul, so she wanted to help people as much as possible and that she could.
Maddie noticed that Sophie had a bus return ticket peeking out of her coat pocket in the corner of her eye, and then looked at the time which she read as nearly 2am in the morning.
"You don't have to, but do you want to stay here tonight? It's too late to catch any more buses now" Sophie was shocked that she knew that she had to get a bus home. "Yeah I'd like to but how did you know I caught a bus?" "I saw the return bus ticket peeking out of your coat pocket; would you like to borrow some clothes to sleep in? Sophie felt flattered by Maddie's generosity and kindness and responded with "Yeah, please".
Maddie went upstairs to her bedroom and picked out some pyjamas for Sophie to wear and came back into the lounge "Here, you can wear these".
"Thanks Mads, I can call you Mads can I?"
"Yeah you can call me whatever you want" Maddie replied. "I'll get changed as well I'll be back in 10".
"Okay" Sophie said.
A few minutes later Sophie knocks on Maddie's bedroom door, she sits down on the bed, next to Maddie. "Can we talk for a bit? I don't really like to be on my own at the moment".
"Yeah, sure". Maddie gladly accepted
Sophie walked in with a smile on her face. Maddie started off the conversation as Sophie sat down on the bed next to her, creating some chemistry between the two of them.
"So how come you wanted to get so pissed you could hardly think?" Maddie questioned.
"Ah well, that is a long, painful, and still very new story" Maddie rolled her eyes and fluttered her eyelashes at Sophie, practically begging her to tell the story. Sophie couldn't say no to those beautiful eyes so she began her reasoning.
"Okay, okay I'll tell you… I, I had a girlfriend... I know shock horror I'm gay". Sophie said humorously, trying to lighten the mood if Maddie took it personally, which she didn't.
"We dated for over a year and a half… before we were together we were really close, like we would do everything together, we were inseparable. And then we were gonna get married, but just before that, one of our friends who is also a girl started to make me question my relationship. Sian the girl who I was gonna marry, she went away on holiday with her mum who she hardly ever sees because Sian lived with me at the time, so obviously she was gonna go, so I missed her like crazy. Our friend who is called Amber decided she wanted to cheer me up by taking me on a night out to a club. A guy tried to chat me up and wouldn't take no for an answer, he didn't believe that I was gay and had a girlfriend. So Amber made sure he got the message by kissing me in front of him. Amber is not gay, I don't think she's even bi, she just wanted the attention and liked to play with people's heads, and now I've screwed everything good in my life... Until now". Sophie admitted the last two words as she gazed into Maddie's hypnotising blue eyes.
Maddie was engrossed in Sophie's story and smiled at the compliment at the end, making her feel a certain pressure to say something meaningful and that will help Sophie, like friends do.
"For the record this Amber girl, shouldn't have played you like that, which is just cruel. Secondly I'm not surprised that guy tried to hit on you, because you are freakin' hot" Sophie blushed and interrupted Maddie and said "No I'm not I'm a mess".
Maddie quickly responded "No you're not, you're beautiful. I'm pretty sure you could have any girl you wanted, and I'm sure your fiancée was upset as you were when you two broke up, by the sounds of things you two were almost unbreakable".
"Yeah we were and I stuffed things up, big time".
"Well I'm glad I saved you from those thugs, you don't deserve to be taken advantage of, the thought of it, doesn't even bare thinking about".
"Aww thanks, you've only known me for a couple of hours and you're already a better friend than some of my friends I've had for years" They gaze into each other's eyes making their affections for each other grow further.
"Anyway, enough about me, I want to know more about you, how did you come to live here all by yourself, it must get pretty lonely, as it's so big".
"I don't live here completely by myself, my brother Ben who's 15, he lives here too but he's staying over at his girlfriend's house, so I went out for a walk because I didn't want to be on my own. That's how I found you, and how did I come to live here? That is also a long story as well. I don't know how to say this without it being so full on but my mum died last year, she committed suicide, she was diagnosed with bipolar and in the end her condition won". Tears start to fill up in Maddie's eyes making them glisten in the dim light. "I tried to help her but she did everything in her power to stop me from helping... I was the one who found her… She was just hanging there, helplessly, all limp. She bought one of those bars that guys like to do pull ups on…. She attached it to the kitchen doorway, not this house a different house; I couldn't live there anymore, not after being the one who found her. She attached the bar to the wall and then got some rope and tied it to the bar and then around her neck and hung herself from there. My brother misses her every day, I do as well but in a way I'm glad that she is in heaven, if there is a heaven. She doesn't have to feel sad anymore or worthless. I don't have to worry about coming home anymore and finding that she's taken a whole bottle of pills washed down with a bottle of vodka. My dad well, I don't see him either, he's in the army, and he goes out on tour sometimes for more than 12 months at a time, so I barely get to see him".
At this point Maddie was in tears; Sophie embraced Maddie trying to comfort her. They both move up the bed so that they can lie down with Maddie's head lying against Sophie's chest.
Sophie tried to lighten the mood by saying "This better than therapy".
"You're the first person I've talked about this to since everything has happened; I've bottled everything up for so long hiding it all".
"I'm glad you've finally talked to someone about it, I don't know whether you've heard or not but apparently people say it's better to talk to about things than hold it all in" Sophie says
"Yeah I've heard that too, well we'll see if I feel better or worse tomorrow, I'll blame you if I do feel worse". Maddie said playing along with the joke.
Both Maddie and Sophie fall asleep in each other's arms, realising that both have at least created a solid friendship.
