Chapter One
Soldier on, solder on, keep your heart close to the ground
Kate gazed all the burning car below her, almost unseeing. This can't be happening. Not now, not ever. The tears built up in her eyes threatening to spill down her face, her mind assuming the worst. It had to be Castle's car down in that ravine. The pieces started coming together in her brain, and a roaring started up in her ears as the reality of the situation dawned on her. An unsettling rage washed over her as Kate clenched her snowy white dress in her hands and slowly began sinking to the ground.
He was twenty minutes away.
They were so close.
She felt the asphalt under her knees, and knew that she was ruining her dress, but what does it matter now, she thought. What she didn't realize, was Martha running up behind her, and that she had said what she was thinking out loud. Castle was Martha's only son, now he might be dead. Kate hated herself for a second, blaming herself for this whole thing.
None of this would have happened if it wasn't for me.
An incredible wave of regret and grief washed over her. She knew that it was too soon to tell, too soon to know whether Castle was in the car... But all the signs pointed to the worst scenario.
Hot tears streamed down her face as Martha looked on in shocked silence. Kate had never seen her speechless, and she felt, all of a sudden, that this was all her fault. Their partnership, their relationship, had all led to this.
I love you with all of my heart.
Stay with me.
Her denial turned to grief as Kate sat on her knees, on the asphalt, in her mother's wedding dress. She wiped her face with her grimy hands and the smudges left behind made her look like an abandoned, forlorn, child on the road.
This was supposed to be our magical day.
He was twenty minutes away.
As her vision started to come back into focus, she noticed there were more people milling around. The roaring in her ears hadn't subsided, so she couldn't make out what they were yelling about. She didn't have ears for anything yet. The detective instincts had fled, for just a moment. She was the bride on her wedding day, who's groom-to-be might be dead. In those moments, she was slowly falling apart...
The world went blurry.
She vaguely made out Ryan's concerned face.
He was trying to say something to her. She thought he was saying that they thought that Castle's body may indeed be in the car, but they were still trying to put out the flames. Ryan was still trying to get her attention, but Kate was too distraught to even be able to listen that closely. Her hand grabbed at her dress with force enough to rip it. She wanted it off. The tears streaming like rivers down her face.
This can't be happening.
Sobs ripped through her body, taking her over. Her vision faded and she started to fall sideways, her arms flailing out for something to hold on to. A scream started to come up in the back of her throat.
I just want you.
