The battle was over, Shun Yu was defeated, and she was free to leave her troops without punishment.
The Emperor's Imperial gifts were packaged away safely in her sack for the long journey back to the Fa Estate, and Mulan was more anxious now than ever to see her family again. Invisible dragonflies fluttered around inside the pit of her stomach just picturing their surprised faces when she would arrive at the gates alive and unharmed. She could tell Khan was also ready to return to the comfort of his own stable for once judging by the lively beat of his hooves down the sandy pathways. Horses might not always understand where they are rode to or why, but they always recognized which way was home.
"What are you thinking about?" asked the little fire dragon, currently twisting up her spine and resting himself along the length of her shoulders.
Mulan blinked out of her thoughtful daze when she felt the narrow tips of his claws gently root themselves into the fabric of her collar. "Those who I am returning to," she told him softly, "and those who I may have just lost."
Memories of how distraught her parents looked on the night when Chi Fu summoned the soldiers to war were still blurring with the faces of the friends she had made in camp inside her mind.
Mushu hummed knowingly. "And of the Captain?"
The following smile that crept upon her lips in that moment was just shy of a smirk. "Yes, him too I suppose. But I really don't know what I was hoping to happen even. Our situation...and our timing, was just so inconvenient and so—so—," she trailed off, searching for the most appropriate word to use, but she didn't exactly find one. She sighed instead. "Perhaps it's best this way, Mushu. Perhaps a woman like me wouldn't be the right match for him."
"What makes you say that?"
"Back at the Palace...he stood up for me, he gave me a compliment, but he didn't stop me."
"Are you actually about to measure your self-worth by whether a man asks you to stay for him or not?"
Mulan scoffed half-jokingly. "Well, alright...my All Powerful Fire Breathing Guardian, what do you suggest?"
"Mind you that after this, my Guardian Status might be torn to shreds by the Ancestors. So if that happens to be the case, then my last piece of advice to offer you is to stop refusing to see the truth."
"What do you mean?"
"Once and for all, stop being so incredibly modest. Do not play daft. Regardless of your gender, you saved China's Empire and you accomplished certain things other War Heroes only wish they could. You should not be questioning your worth. You should be questioning his. And I say he's an utter fool for simply giving you a compliment and nothing more than that. If he doesn't seek you out, then do not spend your own time worrying about it. It'd be his loss."
Cri-Kee, who had nestled himself onto the horn of her saddle chirped loudly in agreement.
In a way, Mulan realized Mushu was right. She thought her eyes were already open to see the world differently, but she was mistaken. Even up until now, she was still clinging to threads of what men had always forced woman to believe, as if she didn't have any other choice to. Though, she did. Her womanly nature was not something to be ashamed of. She just needed this one last little nudge from a close friend to fully embrace it.
She chuckled to herself then. "Do you know what I say, Mushu?"
"What's that?"
"You are worth more to me than all the Ancestors in the Heavens."
"Same here, Mulan."
