A throbbing sensation slowly submerges to join my heartbeats. I fumble into my pockets for something to sink my nails into. Maybe it was the trepidation of entering the Aptitude Room, or maybe just the beginning of taking everything in.
Thats it.
Im sixteen.
My mother stands before with a mask of emotion on her face, a pure mixture of blankness and memories. I want to ask her why she looks more afeared than me - but at the same time, maybe she's as scared as I was because I was her daughter. She steps aside for me to pass and proceed to my destination, and I snuggle a tetchy smile at her as I pass by. Her snug itchy dress hung to her frame, and her eyelashes were so long that if she wore spectacles, they would brush the surface of the glass.
Everyone knows that Erudite the ethical geniuses were known to wear specs without needing them. They say it is an act of dignity and respect, but I find it highly unnatural.
An hour later, I snap my attention back to the present, and a bold sign swam into focus.
Aptitude Room
The names that echo around the waiting room is just a faint murmur in my ears. I dig my nails into the starched grey fabric to overcome my anxiety, but this time, it doesn't work. Thank goodness I was highly alert by the habit of hearing my name alot, because I was beckoned to go to the test. With my row of other people, we walk stiffly towards our rooms. Once I reach my aptitude room, i have to pull myself together and close my eyes for several seconds before I enter. I feel odd, as if I was a robot as I take jerky movements to open the door.
A woman with a sour expression awaits me in the room. She was tapping her nails impatiently on the surface of the serum system. The cushioned diagonal chair was in front of me, ready to drag me into the heart of the serum. The serum that no one can control.
"I'm Tori, and i'll be monitoring you test. Now, please take a seat" she made a gesture with her hands for me to sit, and I tentatively obeyed, edging my uncomfortable modest skirt onto the chair.
"So, whats your name?"
"Beatrice" Its the first word I said all day. My voice came out all croaky and barley a whisper, so that I nearly wondered who this voice belonged to.
"Now, Beatrice, I'm going to inject you with this serum. Don't panic, you'll just be transferred into the simulation. Now good luck" Tori exclaimed, bringing out a large needle that hurt my eyes.
It yellowy texture brought knots into my stomach. I closed my eyes to block the image of the injection and felt a strong jab on the side of my neck.
My face felt so numb that I couldn't even move. The hazy black edges of darkness effects by vision once I open my eyes in wonder.
I am in a fluorescent room, the bright color of light blinding me immediately. The Aptitude system disappears, and all that was in the room was the chair. I feel momentarily awkward, desperately unsure of what to do.
Abruptly, a man walks towards me, his expression blank. At first he looks at me strangely, as if he wanted me to feel sadistic about this curt situation.
"Once you go home, look for your parents. You ain't finding them nowhere"
I feel confused. What did he mean?
"I suggest you look in the Church. You may find a hint or two about what happened, seeing as you're entirely smart but supposedly illogical."
He retaliated to my silence.
This man killed my parents. He murdered them, the cold hearted, twisted-
"Better run to your little brother before I take his life too. You both are so wet behind the ears, basically little kids with parents who abandoned them"
"They didn't abandon me!" I roar, my voice soaring around the room "You killed them, you murderer"
The man smiles a little, a smile that I want to slap. He comes closer, and my breathing quickens dangerously.
"Of course I did" he says obstinately "do you think you're naive, or do you think its the truth?"
My instincts win me over and I shoot up a fist that corresponds with his cheek. The second I touch him - or the second that I thought that I touched him, he disappears into thin air within a second.
"You can never win this war against me" I feel his breath on my shoulder. I whirl around, ready for anything, though my heart is beating hastily. He's not there.
"Behind you" I hear him again from behind me, and I spin around, expecting to see the man. But I don't.
"Are you scared?" His voice fills the room dangerously.
"No." I lie, a filthy lie, but I don't regret it.
"I know you are, little girl" the invisible man haunts me, and a sudden fresh waves of multiple breaths cacophony around me, whipping my face and slashing my body. I double up in pain, clutching myself everywhere, but pain does not fail to hurt me. I felt as if a million needles were being pricked into me, and I can't breath…I can't do anything, I can never be just immune…
The air goes still, and I clench my clammy firsts nervously for the next stage. My muses are tense, clumsily ready for whatever is planned next. My skin still stings, and the pain feels now permanently wounded. I twitch and flex my arms gingerly, waiting.
I look to my right. There is a mirror.
But I don't see myself in it.
The man stands there, a smirk on his face. I am a statue, my spine chilled to the bone, rooted to the spot. The man, diagonally standing opposite of me in my 'reflection', is copying me. Or is he me…?
I raise my hand uncertainly, repeating to myself that this is not real, its a simulation, nothing can hurt me, vision or not. The man raises his hand simultaneously with me. I lower it as he copies me at the right moment, then turn my head in disbelief, shaking it.
The man shakes his head too.
"Who are you?" I summon all my bravery to stand tall and shoat- but my voice comes out as a hoarse croak.
I honestly thought he was going to say the same thing. Instead, he smiles.
"Im what the people see when they look into your eyes".
Never, is all I think. Part of me wants to laugh with hysteria at that lie, the part of me wants to cry with the pain of the chance that it might be true.
I grit my teeth "You're not. Never. You are absolutely nothing like me".
"You say that, but you know it's true, little girl" He replies.
I step backwards, my heart pounding frantically. The man doesn't move, instead, he classes his hands and rubs them together, as if he was summoning a sheer force of willpower. My mouth reaches my knee's and blood forms in between his hands, slowly dripping as if he pierced a hole in each of his hands.
"You are a killer at heart, Tris" The expressionless man snarls, half snorts.
Tris? Who was Tris? Why was he calling me Tris?
Leastways his words hit me hard, and I nearly collapse to the ground with the impact of his harsh words.
"Leave me alone"
"I can't, little girl, I am you"
As soon as he pronounces the last syllable and run at him. I don't even know what to do, but my first instinct is to strangle him, choke him, kick him then kill him, like the murderer he just described me as. I gathered speed, feeling a moment of adrenaline, ready to pounce at him. I want to see his face of contempt and fear, but he just smiles and holds out his arms as if I was running to him for a hug.
As soon as I got to the thin line of glass between us I collide into it.
A million shards erupt around me and fly, darting in different directions as I break through the glass. But I barley felt anything but the fury burning inside me, desperately wanted to feel his neck in between my hands. I soar at him, but he disappears in a millisecond, no poof, no nothing. I expect to feel a blast of pain as I hit the ground, but as soon as my sleeve's brushed against the floor, I wake up.
"Get up" Those words startle me, waking me up from my dream wake. I sat up immediently, the effect of the serum already wearing off.
Tori grabbed my arm and with surprising stregnth, hauled me to my feet. I stumbled on my heels, gasping. Why was she in such hurry? I still felt hazy from my encounter with the unknown man.
As soon as I look into her eyes, I know something is wrong.
Very wrong.
