Dreaming Dreams

"How much more of this could her fragile body take?" the young flustered handmaiden crawled closer to the bed, along with the many other women who were attending her morning care. The strong scent of chamomile came from the inner chamber where Yolima carried a golden platter of hissing leaves, approaching the regal bedchamber where she lay. Her womanly face as stern as it had been for months, she really handled the news quite serenely. She immediately stood up, and attended Yolima, her skinny body made it easy for her to slip between the bodies of curvy women who walked to and fro, fetching hot sheets and of the matter.

"Be careful, child, they are quite hot."

The girl's wide eyes met the eyes of Yolima. She really was beautiful somewhere in her youth, however the long hard lines of experience had taken a hold of her once clear complexion. This had been the worst months here at the palace, and Yolima did nothing but maintain her tranquil poise, something that had made her stand out from the rest of the handmaidens. Perhaps it was the fact that she had lived here more than the rest of them, she had seen faces come and go; perhaps it was her past that had created this ever peaceful creature.

The girl nodded her head swiftly and carefully placed her small hands on the handles of the platter, watching the herbs that would soon be given to the woman in the bed. Moving ever so carefully, she was soon confronted with the crowd ahead of her. Looking back for help, Yolima simply smiled and raised her hand.

"Go ahead, my dear, ask for space. Her highness can't wait for a young girl to just grow and sprout tallness. Don't be afraid."

The girl nodded half-rerear endured and looked ahead. With more confidence, she walked ahead in the crowd, and whispered a small:

"Excuse Me, please…"

The tall woman in front of her looked back, as if she had heard a small mouse crawl from the side of the wall. Looking down, she noticed the girl holding the platter. Ignoring her, she turned away and continued to fix the sheets.

"Excuse me, please. This is for the Empress. She must take her medicine."

The girl finally with one hand underneath the warm platter, nudged the woman with her other hand, pushing her forward. She stirred and turned around again. A vicious glare was shot directly from 5 of the other women.

"And what makes you think that you are more important than any of us here, little flower?" The woman said, an air of arrogance in her tone.


"Perhaps because she is my apprentice…"

The women looked up to the presence of Yolima, the gasped and immediately moved out of the way, clearing a path for the bed, curtsying deeply.

"…and may I say, will one day be greater than any of us here."

The girl looked at the women who were deeply humbled by her appearance. One of them smiled and gestured that the girl go ahead. She hesitated and looked up at her mistress.

"Go ahead, Kia"

The girl looked ahead of herself, a woman laid on her side, in a state of desolation that no one could understand, a round womb in her abdomen.

She gulped. Sure enough, she found the courage in her to approach the Empress, after all, she had always been happy when she was near her. She was always so kind to her, even when everybody else would scorn her. And she really wanted to make this baby prince strong and healthy, just for her. But then again, this was her first time attending her personally. She didn't want to leave a bad impression, or worse, hurt her.

She walked to the bed, and slowly proceeded with crushing the leaves with the golden rod, just like she had been told. She concentrated strongly on the crunching of the chamomile, being ever vigilant to what she was doing. She heard a small tired giggle.

"Hello, Kia. Is this your first time?"

The girl looked up, surprised to hear the Empress speak her first words of the morning. It made the handmaidens stir too; it was difficult enough to get any words out of the woman, much less happy words. Kia smiled softly and nodded slowly, staring into the Empress's kind brown eyes. The glow of a once happy soul radiated through her face.

"Yes, your highness. I have been practicing."

The woman smiled even more and strained herself, attempting to sit up in her bed. Her heavy load got in the way. The women stirred and panicked, some of them urged the Empress to remain lying safely. The woman shook her head in frustration, and carried her long black sleek hair out of her face. Kia looked at her again, worried. The familiar sad expression took over her face again.

"Leave me. Just leave me. I can carry my child, with or without husband. I can live my life and carry my sorrows with my child intact. I have faced the crush of a thousand walls and I have still carried my own child. Through the eternal fires of damnation I would still be able to carry my child. Don't you understand?! I want you all to let me and my child be!"

The handmaidens curtsied and immediately scurried out of the room. Yolima approached 

the Empress immediately and soaked a warm towel and put it on her forehead, which was covered by her clasped hands, tears flowing down her cheeks.

"There, there, my dear. All you need is just cleaning up and some nice fresh air. I heard that the lilies are in bloom, your highness. Your favorite."

The Empress took of her hands and let herself by quenched in the warm water, staring blankly at the wall. Kia stood by her, still carrying the herbs and afraid of what might happen next. She had heard that the Empress had breakdowns like this, but had never been in her presence.

"Yes, you're right, Yolima. I need to get out of this dreaded room. There is nothing here but the empty memories of…him…" she wailed softly and tears ran down her face once again.

"No, don't think about that. We can move you out of this room at your request, but you can't let yourself be burdened by thoughts of him. Think of this…" she softly padded her round belly,… "right here. Nothing could be more important than you and your baby right now. Not one thousands deaths of our Emperor. My sweet, he would be pleased if he could see just your once radiating pretty face from the heavens. That is all he wants."

She gasped softly and stopped crying. With a sudden movement, she turned to Kia's direction and slowly stroked her hair, smiling through her soaked face.

"You're right." She said towards Kia's face, "I'm sure he would like me to…take care of myself."

"I would too."

Kia said this unexpectedly. Yolima turned toward her, surprised that the child would spurt out words like these.

"….Your Highness. Don't be sad."

The Empress smiled and laughed, through her sorrows. She carefully stood up and with a push, hugged the child, her soft round belly caressing her.

"That is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. Thank You" she said sincerely.