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Without further ado, please start reading my story!!!

DISCLAIMER: Characters and etc. belong to Richelle Mead. Except for my own little plot here.

:)

-Deni

I was just walking along the side of the road, thinking. I hadn't gotten far from the academy yet. I looked down at my clothes. I was wearing a t-shirt with a pair of jeans and some comfortable sneakers, nothing special. As well as a huge coat wrapped around me, one that reminded me of… him.

"How am I supposed to do this?" I said aloud not realising I did until I heard footsteps behind me. Damn. They must've heard me talking to myself.

"Alone? Ya, I don't know how either, my little dhampir."

I didn't even have to think to know who it was. I turned around and saw Adrian who was just standing there with a smirk. God, I hated his attitude sometimes. He had an odd look to his face though, even with his odd kinda evil smirk, his eyes were filled with joy. God help me, he really was just happy to see well, me. I felt guilty since I just couldn't return his feelings, but I just felt anger inside of me as well. Why did he have to follow me? My anger came out with my smart ass attitude.

"What are you doing here Adrian?" I asked in a harsh and serious tone.

"Why I'm here to help you. Surely you can't do this alone." He replied, looking a bit hurt.

"Help me what? You want to take advantage of me? Well I'm not stupid, you jerk! I have no interest in jerks who only want my body like you." I said coldly.

He looked so hurt like I stabbed him in the heart. Actually, he probably felt that way. I felt a huge rush of regret enter my body. What was I saying? After he helped me with money and all, here I am being a huge bitch to him. Jeez Rose, stop being so impulsive I scolded myself. I should have had more self control, it was what Dimitri had… well tried to teach me. But every sense of my self control was ripped from me when I left him in that cave. Damn that cave. I wish that I could just destroy it along with all those stupid Strigoi in there. I was getting all worked up in my thoughts and it showed on my face. I didn't come back to reality until I heard Adrian turning away and walking away from me. I saw a tear escape from the corner of his eye as he turned.

"Wait!" I called out to him. He turned to face me with red eyes. Not red like a Strigoi's though, but still red enough to tell me that he cried for a long time while I was lost in my thoughts. Wow, I must've been in my head for like… forever.

"What is it? You want to break my heart even more? You haven't had enough pleasure from stabbing my heart a million times?" His voice was getting louder, almost shouting. He looked so hurt and I felt a pain in my chest from what he was saying and how he looked.

"No Adrian I….." The words couldn't come fast enough and he started to run away. After training with Dimitri, I was definitely able to catch up to Adrian and pulled him into me gripping his shirt, without breaking a sweat.

"Listen. I'm sorry about what I said and I didn't mean it. I let my emotions take hold of me and acted recklessly." Wow I thought. I actually sounded grown up for once, this was very rare. He looked at me with saddened eyes and let out a big sigh.

"Plus you can't come with me. I can't risk a Royal Moroi's life." I said in a very guardian like tone. But the thing is, I didn't even graduate, I dropped out before officially becoming a guardian. Me using that tone was kinda funny. But I was in no situation to be laughing right now. I was dead serious. I gave him that look that said 'go' in a very frightening way. He flinched. He was silent for a while but started to talk again.

"Fine. But promise me that you'll use that bank account I set up for you. Plus don't block me out of your dreams. Be safe my little dhampir." He left it at that and he gave me a peck on the cheek. He looked me in the eyes and tried to look happy, but I saw through it. He looked like I just broke his heart, then reached out and took it from his chest, then stamped and jumped on it, and then finally, burned it.

I nodded in agreement even though I knew I would never let him intrude my dreams again. We started to separate and then Adrian turned back around, which I saw in my peripheral vision. Oh no, I thought.

"Plus don't forget that other promise to me." He said in a flirtatious tone and winked at me. I was glad that he was back to his old self again… actually, not too glad.

Oh god, I thought.

I continued up the road and I looked back behind me. Good, Adrian was out of sight. I just kept walking, thinking hard again like before, except Adrian couldn't interrupt me this time. I let out a sigh of relief.

I was deep in my thoughts once again.

'What the heck? How did I get in this stupid situation anyway?' Then it hit me. I was the one who suggested going to the caves in the first place. It was my entire fault. Dimitri's life had been taken because of me. I hated myself so much.

'Now I'm on my way to kill the love of my life, the person that I love even more than Lissa.' I let out a huge sigh. God my life was depressing.

'Rose, it's ok. It's the only way you can gain redemption. You have to take his life; he would want you to do it. It was the promise you made to him in that van.' I thought to myself.

I looked around me, I was alone. Of course I was alone! I was losing my mind. I touched the stake attached to my belt to reassure myself that I could take on anything, except maybe, killing my soul mate. In fact, I received that stake from my soul mate, he said that I earned it. Before I knew it, I was crying like I hadn't in a long time. Which I actually hadn't. I let all my emotions flow out.

'How can I kill him? Him? He was hard to take down already as a dhampir. He'll be even stronger as a Strigoi. Heck he'll even have powers!'

I felt a strong chill as the icy wind blew across my tear covered face.

"You're too in over your head Rose" I said aloud to myself.

I was consumed in my thoughts for one last time.

'He's not the same person. He's not the man you love anymore. Well… loved. All that we had before. Gone. When you see him, you can't hold back Rose. You're strong enough to do this, I mean come on! You're the bad ass academy drop out Rose!'

It was an odd thing to be proud about but I cheered myself up a little. But not enough to stop the tears from continuing to explode from my eyes.

I was pulled out of my thoughts as I saw something approaching me. Actually, someone. I was getting that nauseous feeling again. When I saw a familiar face, heartbreak was added to what I was feeling. A Strigoi was walking towards me.

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