Zak
...
Zak Bagans was known in public for his joyful personality, taunting words at spirits and muscular body. And he liked to keep it that way. At least on scene when they recorded. But there was rare moments when he pushed all that to the side. Those moments had three important factors; Nightmares, a hotel room and Nick Groff.
Yes, you read that right.
Zak and Nick had know each other for more than an decade now. They were best friends but Zak had realized that he wanted to be more than that. Not that he was gay. No, he'd had girlfriends in the past. He was more Nick-sexual... or something.
So what's the problem, then?
Well, there was two problems actually. Nick was married since ten years back and he'd just got a baby daughter.
But don't get him wrong there. Zak was very good friends with Veronique and Annabelle was just to adorable to not like.
So what could he possibly do?
He could always tell Nick about his never resting desires and then adventure their strong friendship.
He could also tell lies about how Veronique had cheated on another man (or even better, a woman) but then he would just feel bad and Nick wouldn't fall for the lie because he trusted his wife by his heart.
So that left Zak with a scratching pain in his heart and a deep shallow feeling in his gut that grew stronger every day.
Still, Zak couldn't stop being near his younger friend. Touch him lightly when he though no one looked their way, talk to him as much as possibly, do silly stuff with him to annoy the rest of GAC and knock on his door in the darkest times at the night. Which followed by Nick opened the door only dressed in a pair of loosely tied pants, Zak would gulp, hoping that Nick hadn't seen his lust filled eyes and flushed cheeks when he unconsciously followed the line of hair that disappeared into Nick's pants. Then Zak would clutch his pillow harder and desperately tried to hide what had awaken between his legs. Nick would crawl under the duvet after closing the door behind his friend and Zak would follow. The younger would draw his arm around Zak lazily before mutter.
"You want to talk about it?"
And Zak would tell him about his nightmare and Nick, with his tired eyes closed the whole time, would kiss his forehead and tell him.
"It will be alright, G, I'm here for you, man"
Nick would then fall asleep while Zak lied there wide awake. Still in shock after the kiss and with a painful erection that had no intention at all to go away. And Zak would once again curse his life.
Nick
...
Nick was known for being a serious man who rarely showed any emotions of either sadness, panics, anger or even love. But the truth was that he was the very opposed, you don't have to cry, be scared, want to kill someone or loving somebody you shouldn't love.
It was the witching hour and Nick suddenly woke up to hear a soft knocking on the hotel room, he quickly looked though the peeping hole before letting his friend enter his room. Zak immediately laid down on the bed and Nick sleepwalked back to crawl back under the duvet. He placed his arm around the cold body and pressed the other one a bit closer before asking the same thing as always and Zak told him about this nights terror. Nick nodded before placing a comforting kiss on his black haired friends forehead and told him some comforting words before sleep overtook his body again.
This had became a routine for the both men, since a few years back and Nick found himself soaking up all the feelings Zak radiated from his body. It made himself feeling a bit worse than before but if it helped Zak, who am he to complain.
Even though Zak was four years older than himself, Nick often found himself being protective over Zak. He needed to, with Zak being so aggressive against the evil entities they come face to face with.
Their friendship had grew strong during such a short amount of time and Nick didn't know if he liked it or felt uncomfortable with it.
He wanted to be close to Zak, wanted to touch him, kiss him and do a hell lot of inappropriate things with him.
So why couldn't he just do it? He was a guy who simply had his needs and when you travel in a small car miles and miles together, your head gets messed up.
But he still fought it.
Because firstly; Zak's feelings. He didn't need to add anything else.
Secondly; He had a baby girl at home, and a wife whom he still loved.
Thirdly; What if anyone found out what they did in the darkest hours of the night? The show, his reputation, his family, his whole world would fall upon him.
No, not such a good idea.
...
Nick woke up with a sleeping mess of hard muscles and dark hair on top of him and he sigh softly when Zak grunted. Nick could feel him tugging on his fingers. The young looked over at their hands to find that their fingers where entwined. If anyone would walk in on them now, it would probably look like they just woke up from a good fuck. Nick's thoughts abruptly stopped when a pair of baby blue, ashamed eyes looked into his.
Zak had just woken up and realized their positions. A shade of deep red dusted his cheeks and he awkwardly rolled of Nick and turned his back to him.
What the hell just happen? Nick's thoughts started to roll again, straight into a bunch of questions. Zak Bagans had just blushed while laying on top of him? He thought it was embarrassing? He had a crush on Nick? He was just as madly in love and confused as Nick himself? He wanted them to fuck like animals until all the frustration, pain and guilt was spent from their bodies?
Probably not...
Nick slowly stood up from the bed and started to put on some clothes while he stole glances at Zak's direction every once in a while. The rather big bundle of beautiful toned skin and black hair hadn't moved an inch. Nick sighed and poked the older in the ribs.
Zak squirmed at his touch and turned with an "that hurt" look in his eyes.
"Hey, I'm not the one still laying in my bed, I want breakfast so get your ass out of here and put on some clothes"
Zak rolled his eyes and got out of the bed while Nick stuck his tongue out.
That teasing bastard. Zak cursed low under his breath and stuck his head out to check if the hallway was human-free. While doing so he gave Nick a full view of that lean back and curved ass.
Fucking teasing bastard.
...
A few hours later on the road, on their way to next lockdown and music was playing on the loudest volume. The crew sung along to the songs and everyone felt pumped to get to an new location. Nick drove the car, as usual, Zak sat on the passenger seat, as usual and Aaron and Billy sat in the backseat together with Jay and his wife, as usual. The song ended and Nick and Zak started to fight about the choice of music. As usual.
The feelings between the two men were joyful but they both felt like something was different then yesterday. And they needed to talk about it, in private. But the car ride was planned to take hours and though everything was ok now, the mood could change fast.
Something everyone in the crew was aware of.
Another few hour later and the tension had grew between the both men. The confusion, the frustration, all the unanswered questions. Aaron if someone could feel it the strongest but decided that he simply didn't knew what the problem was so he wasn't going to interfere.
"G, change the music, please?"
"No"
Nick gripped the steering wheel a bit harder than before and asked again.
"G, I hate this song, can you change it?"
"No, I think it's chill"
This was not funny anymore.
"Dude, change the fucking song"
"It's almost over, what's your problem?"
"What's your fucking problem. I ask you to change the fucking song and you are throwing a bitchfit over it? And the thing that happened this morning is not my fu-"
The frightened glimpse in Zak's eyes almost made Nick put a hand over his mouth as if he'd just said a curse word in front of a group of kids.
"Stop the car"
Zak's command was simple and Nick didn't hesitate at all to pull over into a gas station by the road. The backseat was completely quiet and it stressed Nick more than his most-likely-upcoming-fight.
The both men got out of the car and walked behind the station, away from listening ears and watching eyes.
"G, I'm sorry"
Nick gave his friend a sincere look and Zak rolled his eyes.
"It's ok Nicky, I'm sorry too"
An awkward silence broke out but it didn't last long.
"So, you want to talk to me about it? Why you acted so strange this morning or more likely the whole month"
Zak's cheeks dusted pink and he met his friends hazel eyes before shyly looking away.
"Umm... well... I have..umm.. feelings for someone in the crew... but I know that my feelings won't be responded"
"What? he had feelings for one of us? Could it be Aaron? No, Zak always put him in danger when he plays the bait. Billy? No, he's not Zak's type. Ash? Well, that would be bad on so many levels. Jay? Hopefully not. Me? Nah"
Nick was confused again.
"Who?"
"Well... umm..."
Zak looked up and met his friends eyes before he looked at the rest of his face. The small freckles on his nose, those eyebrows formed into two confused streaks. His full mouth that lucky Veronique could kiss whenever she wanted. If this was the last time they would see each other, Zak made sure that he remembered this moment forever. He took a deep breath and gathered strength before he said almost like a whisper.
"Well...you"
The shock and confusion must have been mirrored in Nicks face because Zak simply nod and gave him a sad smile before he turned around to go back to the car. Tears were burning in his eyes. But he never made it to the car, he didn't even got to turn around the corner because Nick stopped him. He pulled the older one against himself in a tight hug.
"Don't even think about running away. Not now, not again and certainly not before I can answer you"
Zak tried to hold on for as long as possible but simply couldn't. He broke down sobbing into the crook of Nick's neck, making his t-shirt wet with tears. But it didn't matter because Nick just clutched into Zak's hoodie and felt his own cheeks getting wet from hot saltwater escaping from his eyes. The older of the two gasped when he felt the wetness of tears soaking his shirt. Because as far as he knew, Nick almost never cried.
And it was at this moment that Nick knew. He loved this guy. He had cried twice in Zak presence; at his wedding and when Annabelle was born.
And right now.
"I love you"
The words were soft, quiet. Zak had heard them but still asked.
"What?"
"I love you Zak, I love you.
More tears came rolling down when their lips finally met.
Like the last fitting piece of puzzle.
Like drinking clear water after being out in the sun for too long.
Like the first summer breeze after a long winter.
A moan broke out but none of took any notice of whom it came from.
Zak's heart fluttered like a bird in its birdcage. It felt like he was going to explode from emotions. After all this time of denying and longing and never resting desires, could he finally feel him, sense him, taste him. Nick even kissed him back with the same fiery passion. He even told him that he loved him. Loved him.
Nicholas Groff loved him.
Nick loved him.
"I love you too"
Zak gasped.
Soft... so... fucking ... soft his lips were. He felt like turning into a puddle on the floor and he loved the heat that radiated from his older friend. Nick kissed him like the world was ending in the next three minutes and the more he tasted the black haired, the more he wanted.
But air was desperately needed and they separated an inch or two. Nick placed his forehead against Zak's.
"I love you, I've loved you since the day we started up this fucked up project"
"I know, I've realized"
He gave Zak a small peck on his lips before smiling.
"I'm willing to try"
"But you can't cheat on her like that"
Zak frowned to the dead end.
"I've already kissed you, haven't I?"
Zak frowned even deeper. Nick grabbed his hand.
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, just please try to enjoy today?"
Zak smiled. It was a plan. Nick had chosen him and in the end, whatever Nick's final answer will be, Zak will be happy.