Late Arrivals and Lifetime Rivals: Snape's Worst Halloween
Note: This fic doesn't overlap as much my other ones do. This fic is about Snape, even though Professor Vector is the narrator. It had to be told from someone else's point of view that works with him and is a foil in my other fics to Snape. It is a reminder of how someone so smart can be really out of touch socially. We've all been there at some point in our lives. Also, someone has to pay for his utter embarrassment the next day at work. I guess it will have to be Vector.
The first few chapters set the story and then all hell breaks lose. Please hang in there if you like Snape fanfics. It may seem like Vector's story at first, but it really isn't.
Intro: They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Well, when Sirius Black and the Weasleys decide to throw a Halloween gathering for the Order of the Phoenix at 12 Grimmauld Place, some look for costume inspiration in fantastic beasts and wizards of old, and some look no further than those around them for ideas.
Chapter 1: Most Definitely Not
When Molly Weasley invited me to the Halloween party at 12 Grimmauld Place, it had completely slipped my mind that I was scheduled to work on something with Snape that night. However, he as an Order member was invited, too. Sirius claimed that he could overlook Snivellus' entering his home for Order meetings, but this was asking a lot. However, he reluctantly agreed. Not that I believed Snape would show any inclination to put down a vial and make an appearance, but I would like to attend. Before I committed myself to Sirius and the Weasleys, I decided it may be best to let Snape know we would have to reschedule.
When I broached the subject of the party and some costume ideas to Snape, this was his response:
"A bit of advice, Vector, though it is probably a waste on you," Snape said smoothly.
"Dress as a hag. You need not even exert yourself in disguising your less than noble features. What a pity to waste the few galleons you possess and your seemingly precious time scouring Hogsmeade for a costume," he finished with a smirk. "Really, competing with the other eleven-year-old wizards and witches….are you daft?"
"Well, Severus, I would whole-heartedly suggest that you show some originality and pose as a boggart, but since you are one to half of Hogwarts as it is…."
"Vector, if you decide to participate in such foolishness, so be it. Even with your lack of sound judgment and questionable intelligence, I am sure you can find a suitable get-up in your wardrobe closet. I myself will not be attending. I have more constructive things to do with my time. We will have to reschedule. The Headmaster will be in attendance and he, of course, will bar me from stopping you," he rolled his eyes and his lips twisted slightly to the left.
"However, I expect you to be at the dungeons at 6:00 a.m. the following day. Our work will not fall behind due to your foolish carousing and that of the usual dunderheads you frequent your time with. Make my excuses to the Weasleys and that stunted teenager---I mean, the Animagus Black," snapped Snape.
"And today I chose to ignore the ranting and ravings of a complete lunatic. Are you sure you would not like to come with me, then? I am not sure what compels me to act against my better judgment, but I have tried to include you in certain functions. I try to be somewhat cordial as a co-worker, and you routinely decline. I don't think I shall ever ask you again." Snape eyed her as if she were mad.
Snape paused and answered. "No. And I can think of no worse abomination than to be seen arriving with you in public. I am quite sure you have grown accustomed to such refusals of your company, excluding myself. Good Day, Vector."
Snape turned on his heel, his cloak twirling after him as he stalked into his office and closed the door.