Talking to Myself
By Periwinkle
"No, I will not, Napoleon. Write your own report."
"Pasha, those puppy dog eyes are not going to work. We are trained professional agents, not little girls. I am tired of writing the reports. Did I not give you an ultimatum last week? Either you start writing the reports or you sleep alone."
[…]
"No, Napoleon, promises of feeding me will not do it either. Just sit down and write."
[…]
"Why am I not hearing the pen moving? It's been an hour, are you finished?"
"You are not organizing your thoughts; you are just avoiding the work. Let me see what you've written so far."
"The date? All you've written is the date? It took you an hour to write the date? Pasha, you didn't even get the mission title or location filled in. At this rate, we will be here forever."
"Yes, I know we could leave in ten minutes if I did it. However, I'm sticking by my ultimatum. Do your own work for once. I'll go get us some coffee."
[…]
"Napoleon, I have been sitting here forever waiting for you to finish. My coffee is cold."
"Yes, I know that I'm being cold too. Why do you think I'm called the Ice Prince? Do you want me to get you another coffee to warm up your hands?"
"You want to warm your hands up where?"
"No, Polya, my voice did not just squeak when I said that."
[…]
"Your lips are cold too? I suppose I could help warm them up…"
"Now will you get back to the report before I fall asleep?"
[…]
"No, I did not gulp. No, my voice is not squeaking. Um, tell me again what your suggestion was for waking me up?"
[…]
"I am not blushing!"
"However, I suppose I could finish the report so we can get back to the apartment. My lips could stand to warm up too. But understand this Napoleon – this is the last time I do the report. That's an ultimatum."