A/N: I always told myself I'd only work on one fic at a time but this one just ate at me! Cry-Baby was the inspiration and while I wanted to do something close I didn't want to make a direct parody. There will definitely be elements that belong to the wonderful J. Waters but I tried not to rip him off too much. I've mulled over and rewritten this chapter so many times. Normally I'm only 1/2 as nervous as I am now. I hope you give this a chance. You all know I welcome thoughts, critiques, and ideas. I tried to make it angsty enough but I'm just not cut out for the bummer stuff. I don't own Glee, or Cry-Baby. I hope you enjoy. - xoxo, mae
Chapter 1: The Beginning
As she looked in the mirror Saturday morning Mercedes Jones smiles as she realized she had it all. She brushed her chin length black hair and counted her blessings. She had loving parents who gave her everything a girl could want. Her father was a successful mechanic, and her mother was a dentist and swim coach. Mercedes was treasurer of the Religious Freedom Club, Student Goverment, and Chastity Club of her high school. She was second Bass in advanced orchestra with her amazing boyfriend, Finn. She was one of the backup vocalists in her schools beloved Glee club with her best friends, even though they couldn't compete after most of the members left sophomore year they formed a quartet that performed around town at rest homes and during the weekends at Will's Soda & Burgers which happened to be the little shop their teacher owned and ran with his wife Emma. According to Rachel they needed to keep their skills sharp so they could be ready to compete again when new members joined. They hadn't had any tryouts with the exception of her friend Kurt's boyfriend, Blaine last year but the little group always remained optimistic. Sometimes Mercedes lay in bed and wished things were a little different, but she always reasoned that one couldn't have everything if one wanted to be happy, right?
After moving to the small town of Lima, Ohio at the age of five she'd been fourtunate to quickly fall into a group of popular well meaning friends that that in turn made her popular. Sure Rachel was a little overbearing, Kurt was a little controlling, and Finn could be gruff and unyielding but they all meant well in the end. After years of waiting Finn even even became her first love and gifted her with a pearl necklace she never took off as a symbol of his affection. Finn was old fashioned and sometimes cave mannish in his views but she tolerated that to have his love. He'd always remind her that no one could love her like he did. All she had to do was "be good" and he'd never leave her. He was a strong, take charge type who had definite ideals of the "right" way a man and woman were supposed interact in a relationship. Sometimes it got under Mercedes skin but she'd shrug it off. It never did bode well to argue with Finn.
She made countless sacrifices to keep her friends. But she always reasoned that friendship came at a cost. It was about sacrifice and a mild, forgiving spirit. That meekness along with hard work caused Mercedes to be smart and well liked. She may not have interacted with many students at her small high school (Finn didn't like when she talked to other people when he wasn't there) but student population knew who she was and they seemed to respect her.
She reminded herself of her good fourtune every day as she stood in front of her mirror adjusting the loose fitting prim skirts, and roomy sweater sets she wore to hide her "zaftig" figure as Kurt called it. Her boyfriend and friends preferred she wear things that were conservative and "skimmed" or "hid" her trouble areas. They always said a girl with her body should leave something to the imagination. As she tugged at the collar of her pink sweater she thought off handedly in her case it was everything. As she smoothed her hands over the black, pleated skirt she wore she had no idea what was coming just around the bend.
"It's over Mercedes. I can't keep pretending I'm in love with you. I haven't loved you in a long time. There's someone else. I can't continue hurting her by being with you." Finn said as he dropped her hand. Mercedes blinked away tears as she looked down at his large pale hand hanging by his side. The same hand that spent three years clasped in hers. The same hand that rubbed her back as he whispered words of want into her ear while taking her virginity in his parents' lake house at the beginning of summer a month ago. He'd told her if he had that last part of her that it would cement their bond. What changed? What had she done wrong? Why was he abandoning her? Didn't she please him; give him everything he asked for? She felt numb as she stood in the middle of Will's Soda and Burgers feeling her seventeen year old heart being broken in front of everyone she knew.
"What do you mean Finn?" She asked as she clutched the pearl necklace he'd given her last year. Something she did for comfort. But the necklace now felt like a weight around her neck. "What about last night? We made love. You told me you loved me!" Her voice felt small.
She looked up to meet his eyes her own begging for a sign that this was a joke. Instead they were empty and cold. She'd never seen his eyes so empty. Any time he looked at her it was always with affection. What went wrong?
"Mercedes, we're just so different. I thought I could handle it but I can't." Something told Mercedes he wasn't talking about the differences in their interests. Finn and Mercedes had everything in common; she'd always made sure of that. "Last night was a goodbye. I'll miss our friendship but I can't hurt Rachel. She's been so patient." Finn's face reddened at the mention of her best friend's name.
Rachel and Mercedes had also been close friends for just as long as she and Finn had. The trio along with Finn's brother Kurt headed up all the big clubs. Their extra circular activities never seemed like much but when you took into account Rachel Berry's terrifyingly determined personality and ability to tear anyone down from the inside out, Finn's athleticism and man of many faces personality, and Kurt's fabulous sense of style and acid tongue the combination was enough to make the foursome a force to be reckoned with. No one took on the group. There was the exception of a few people that had the courage to openly despise them. But according to their circle they were a non-factor.
Mercedes and Kurt had been Rachel's second in command for 12 years. They met on the playground at age five when Rachel declared that they were all going to play knights and princesses. Being the new girl Mercedes complied, even being Kurt's knight while he got to be a princess. The group had been inseparable ever since. Rachel found people she could easily manipulate that day. High school came and they ruled the school. Rachel had a slew of good-looking and talented boyfriends. Her last conquest was Jesse St. James. He moved away and Rachel had been on the prowl for a new toy ever since. Mercedes had Finn who she thought she'd always be with. Kurt had Blaine Anderson who'd transferred from an all boy's school to be with him. Along with being smart, attractive, and feared things were perfect. At least that's what she thought.
"R-R-Rachel!" Mercedes screamed no longer able to hold her anger in.
"Mercedes, calm down. You're making a scene." Finn said as he reached out to place a hand on her shoulder. Mercedes jerked it away as if she'd been burned. She never caused a scene that was Rachel's shtick but today was different. Today she was going to show her ass. She'd been told to never stand out negatively. She stood out enough as a fly in the milk of white bread Lima. Mercedes wouldn't be silent this time. She'd been silent too much in the past and this is where being silent got her. She'd been silent while Finn bullied innocent people; she'd been silent while he slushied freshman, she'd been silent when he was mean to her. She'd been silent when Rachel bossed her about. She'd been silent when Kurt told her what to wear. She'd been silent as she'd been teased by all of them. She finally let all the words she'd wanted to say pour out of her mouth.
"Finnegan Timothy Hudson, you are an insensitive prick!" She yelled at the taller boy who had the nerve to look shocked as she raised a tiny finger to poke his chest. Mercedes hadn't raised her voice in years and never to Finn. "You stand in the middle of our restaurant in front of most of our classmates while you humiliate me right before a performance and ask me not to cause a scene? And all because you don't want to break Rachel's heart? Fuck you! Fuck your letterman jacket, and that stupid letterman sweater. Who the fuck even wears those anymore? Fuck your barbershop quartet idea, and your ass backwards 1950's mentality of men and women. Fuck you!" Mercedes screamed as she turned and came face to face with a smug Rachel and a worried Kurt.
"Mercedes I'm so…" Rachel started to say before Mercedes put a finger to the little bitch's lips.
"Don't even tell me you're sorry. You went behind my back and fucked my boyfriend repeatedly. You sat there and smiled in my face and helped me pick lingerie for my first time knowing what you were doing. You told me you knew he'd like it. I should have known then something was wrong. How would you know what kind of underwear Finn liked? You sat there and helped me do my hair while telling me how magical and beautiful it would be. Telling me how Finn and I would make beautiful babies one day. Telling me how Finn was my one in five billion. You're such a bitch Rachel. You're a bad friend and an even worse person. You're a mean, self centered, manipulative bitch. How long has this been going on? Tell me that then get out of my way before I stomp you." She removed her finger from the brunette's lips and allowed her to speak. The girl had the nerve to cross her path and stand next to Finn taking his hand. The little squeeze that was given didn't go unnoticed by Mercedes.
"Six months, and Mercedes what I was going to say is that I'm sorry you had to find out like this. I told Finn to have more finesse but you know he doesn't listen. I'm sorry that a man ruined our friendship. I know it will take time to repair but I'm willing to give you the proper time to be angry. I really couldn't help myself I love him, I've always loved him. Mercedes look at him and me! We fit. You and Finn never fit like we do. It was only a matter of time before he left you for someone a little more suited for him. Now, another thing we haven't neglected you completely. We have a short but wonderful list of suitors for you. Finn and I even discussed it with them already and they'd be willing to go out with you." Rachel said as she handed her a sheet of paper with a smile. She took it and looked down. The list had three names all large boys, all seniors, and she had nothing in common with any of them. Mercedes balled the paper up as she finally let the tears drop. She looked over her shoulder to Kurt whose expression was pained. Blaine stood next to him silent and just as guilty.
"Please tell me you didn't know about this." She said softly as the tears fell. She wanted to come out of this with at least one friend.
"I'm sorry Mercedes. He's my brother. He made me promise not to tell." The counter tenor said as his head dropped. Mercy only nodded.
"Well, Kurt, I respect you keeping your promise. But fuck you too. Never speak to me again. I stood up for you when you came out. I went to all those gay teen nights with you when no one else would. I was the one that introduced you to Blaine. I stood up for you! You cried into my shoulder. I sat there with you when you came out to your parents. Where was your loyalty to me, Kurt?" Kurt pursed his lips and nodded. There was no one there to console her as the silent tears finally fell. For the first time in 12 years she was completely alone.
Mercedes ran from the little diner and straight to her car. She wasn't going to let them see anymore hurt from her. She wasn't a sideshow freak to be watched and pointed at. They'd all seen enough. Mercedes sat staring out the windshield as she pulled herself together. She knew this would all end one day. She'd hoped it wouldn't be public when it did but Finn and Rachel always did have a flair for the dramatic.
She sat in her car and thought. She'd noticed changes in her relationships last year. Finn stopped spending time with her. Rachel and Kurt's weekly sleepovers were becoming fewer and farther between. Soon all three started alienating her from anything that wasn't school related. Everything seemed so forced starting all the way back to the middle of junior year. Had they really been lying for this long? Mercedes pulled the visor down and looked at herself in the mirror. Her face was streaked with tears that made tracks in her foundation and caused her mascara to run.
"So much for water-proof." She said with a bitter laugh. She flipped the visor up when she saw them. What Mercedes' mother called the "High School Hellcats". Mercedes always called them the "Cry-Baby Crew": Santana "Razor Blades" Lopez, Brittany "Rainman" Pierce, Quinn "Easy Eyes" Fabray, Noah "Puck" Puckerman, and Sam "Cry-Baby" Evans. Sam's nickname was obvious as he had a tear drop tattooed under his left eye. Mercedes didn't know how the rest came up with such ridiculous nicknames. She watched the teenagers pile out of Sam's impressive hot rod. She only noticed because he was the only one in town who drove a classic besides her. At least that's what she told herself. Her notice had nothing to do with the boy that drove the jet black sports car.
She watched as the group made their way into the shop. No doubt they were there to heckle the little quartet that was due to perform at any moment. They did it every week. They sat in the front and hurled insults and a few French fries at the little group calling them boring, and white bread. They were right. The group only sang 50's standards to go along with the theme of the diner. The arrangements were bland and Rachel always took the lead. Sometimes she and Finn would perform a duet but it was always Rachel. Even in glee they sang only popular music and show tunes. It was boring since all she did was come out to hit the soul notes at the end or sway in the back and help create a melody with her "Ohh's" and "Ahh's" . But Mercedes was a good sport and never complained. She knew it would be her turn one day if she was patient. She knew Mr. Schuester liked sameness, Rachel delivered that sameness. She was his golden girl. All Mercedes ever wanted to do was sing and be with her friends anyway.
Mercedes broke herself from her thoughts and watched the misfit crew of boys and girls. Her eyes drifted to Sam, the leader of the pack. He was handsome with blonde hair pushed back and formed into a pompadour, piercing green eyes and unusually full lips. He always wore fitted white "smedium" t-shirts that encased prominent biceps, and a black leather jacket all year round. Sam was a 50's wet dream. He reminded Mercedes of James Dean without the closeted homosexual tension. Very few McKinley High students would admit it but girls wanted him, and boys wanted to be him. Mercedes even licked her lips a few times when he walked by in school.
Sam wasn't just a hot bad boy. Mercedes knew under all that Murray's and leather he had a big heart. But having a big heart didn't mean he was a weakling! Sam was a take no nonsense type of boy who'd been in his share of scrapes with his small minded peers. She'd seen him stick up for smaller boys at school who were picked on mercilessly, something really got in his craw about bullying. He'd even gone toe to toe with Finn over the much bigger boy picking on a freshman after he tripped and fell in the hallway.
Sam often carried Becky Jackson's books when her load was too heavy. The girl had Downs and was often a bit uncoordinated. Mercedes caught him in the hall once and she had to smile as he walked with the girl. She heard him doing an impression of Sean Connery as they passed causing the girl to laugh. Sam "Cry-Baby" Evans was sweet. She couldn't say the same about Finn who when she thought about it hadn't been very nice to Becky or anyone he deemed different.
Social hierarchy kept Mercedes from muttering so much as a hello to Sam. She'd even grown up with his crew and had been friends with them until they went their separate ways during sophomore year of high school. Mercedes never asked why they stopped being friends. She just trusted Finn and Rachel when they said it was for the best. From that day on Mercedes pretended to be disgusted with Sam and his crew of thugs. The few times she was caught staring she'd quickly look away.
Mercedes started the engine of her car and looked down at the cell phone she didn't realize was ringing. It was Finn.
"Yes?" She asked as she picked up the phone. She knew it was a mistake, but old habits died hard. Finn always got upset when she didn't take his calls. She was still conditioned to pick up on the first ring for him. She pulled out of the parking lot as he blathered on.
"Mercedes we have a performance! Get back in here and do your part. Don't let your feelings get in the way of the music!" Finn spat.
"Goodbye Finn." She said before hanging up the phone. She drove towards her house ready to unleash her tears. She pulled into the driveway and ran up to her room. The house was empty as it usually was Monday-Saturday. She threw herself across the large bed that sat in the middle of her room and let the tears fall. Today took the cake. She'd been humiliated, betrayed, and lost everything that meant anything to her.
For five days she cried. She went through the stages of grief. She went through denial. Telling her self this was a joke. She went through anger wondering how he could do this to her. She bargained on the fourth day begging God to give her back her life. During this time her phone rang incessantly. She ignored call after call from Kurt, and deleted his messages. There wasn't one call from Finn or Rachel she knew there would be no apologies. Rachel had always been selfish, and Finn had always been heartless. Even growing up he was a control freak with a tight grip and Rachel was a diva with delusions of grandeur. The only reason they'd apologize to her was to get her back into Glee club.
During those five days her parents worried. It took two days to find out why their baby girl wailed like she did. Her mother bribed her with trinkets and gifts telling her if she came out she'd help her buy the cell phone she wanted or would take her shopping. Her father took the brutal approach demanding she come out or he'd take the door off the hinges. Nothing could make Mercedes leave her room. After Mr. Jones heard of Finn dumping her from an employee Mr. and Mrs. Jones left Mercedes to her weeping. Their only daughter had her heart broken, but they didn't know the severity.
Each night after her mother and father went to bed she'd creep from her room and sneak into the kitchen to eat. She'd sit there and think about all the things she missed in her friendships. She was so wrapped up in creating the perfect life that she didn't notice it was all wrong. Everything was wrong. She'd worn a mask she didn't know how to take off for twelve years. Mercedes Jones wasn't meek or mild by nature but her sass had been torn out of her. Mercedes had a backbone of steel and a razor sharp tongue but she'd kept it hidden for so long that she forgot about it.
She sat and ate as she remembered the day she'd become silent. It was the day Finn told her she was too loud. Wanting to be pleasing to him she bit her tongue. They were 12. Mercedes liked loud brutal music and horror movies. She remembered the day Rachel told her if she wanted a boy like Finn to notice her she had to be softer, feminine. Wanting to be pleasing to him she gave it up. She'd been 14. She remembered the day Finn told her that her hands were too callused, and he hated how dirty they looked. That was the day she stopped playing the bass with her hands, and fixing cars with her dad. She'd been 15. Everything down to the sweater sets she wore could be traced back to Finn and his ideals of what a girl should be. For the second time in 12 years Mercedes Jones got angry.
On the 5th day Mercedes Jones snapped.
She was so tired of being good.
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