"Shining Finger" and "Omae o Korosu"
by: JC Maxwell-Yuy
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JC: Happy Halloween!
Heero: I'm not happy.
Domon: Why AM I here anyway? I thought you only wrote Gundam Wing fanfiction.
JC: I have just expanded my horizons to include G Gundam and Gundam X. Although this particular story will only feature G and W.
Rain: This can't be!
Relena: Welcome to the love-boat honey. You'll be here a while.
JC: Actually, it's a Halloween boat… er… ball!
Domon: Great. We might as well just put on the pink bunny suits and start ringing doorbells.
JC: You know, that's not such a bad idea!
Rain: DOMON!
Domon: Sorry! It just slipped out!
Heero: Omae o korosu.
Dorothy: AHAHAHAHA! Luckily, I'm doing the disclaimer! Tee hee! JC doesn't own G Gundam or Gundam Wing… luckily, but think of all the mayhem that's possible if…
Allenby: (kicks Dorothy away) Trick or treat! Smell my feet! GIVE ME SOMETHING OR ELSE!
"I love costume balls!" Dorothy cried out as she waltzed across the crowded ballroom dressed as a military commander complete with the riding crop.
"Really Dorothy, you should watch where you brandish that thing!" Relena warned as Dorothy started to wave the crop around like a magic wand. In doing so, she accidentally whacked young red-haired woman dressed as an angel.
"HEY! WATCH IT!" Rain screamed as the riding crop grazed her butt for the second time.
"AHAHAHA! And who might you be, my not so innocent looking angel?" Dorothy smirked.
"Dorothy! What have I told you about this kind of behavior?" Relena sighed.
"Domon! Get over here!" Rain screamed.
"Oh dear. A rabid woman… a fight could break out. HEERO! I NEED YOU!" Relena screeched.
Across the room, Heero Yuy cringed in his Little Bunny Foo-Foo costume booties as Relena's voice echoed above the band playing.
At the opposite side of the room near the bar, Domon Kasshu grimaced in his panda suit as he chugged down another grape soda. Both men decided that this was a great time to go to the bathroom and lock themselves in the last stall.
"I wonder what all that racket is about." Une asked as she enjoyed her cocktail.
"I haven't the slightest idea." Nastasha giggled, completely drunk.
"I think we've lost her." Sally observed.
"ANOTHER ROUND! I CAN TAKE IT!" Noin screamed for the waiter.
"…" Argo remained silent.
"Oh HO HO HO! Come on Argo! Lighten up and have some fun!" Nastasha slapped the large man on the back before collapsing on the table laughing. Argo stared at his superior in utter shock as the green-haired woman suddenly jumped up and began twirling around in her ballerina costume.
"Duo! I see you're dressing your part!" Hilde called to the braided guy, who was dressed in flowing black robes and carrying a plastic scythe.
"Hilde. And this is…" Duo looked from the black haired witch to the gorgeous blue haired girl in a magical girl costume.
"Allenby. Allenby Beardsly." The young woman smiled and extended her hand, which Duo shook… and held on to it… much to Hilde's displeasure.
"Trowa… I don't think wearing your clown outfit really counts as wearing a costume." Quatre sighed.
"…" Trowa stared at his water glass as they moved to an empty table.
"And so, that's why I'm the number one… Hey!" Chibodee exclaimed as he and Quatre roughly collided.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Quatre cried, but Chibodee noticed Trowa and freaked!
"A CLOWN! AAAHHHH!! A CLOWN!" and with that, Neo America's 'shining star' ran for the bathroom.
"What's with him?" George asked as he paused to smell his rose as he inconspicuously spiked the fruit punch with… spikes.
Suddenly, the lights went out and everyone screamed.
"NOBODY MOVE! WE HAVE THE VICE-MINISTER AND THIS OTHER CHICK IN THE ANGEL COSTUME! GIVE US ALL YOUR HALLOWEEN CANDY… and JEWELS AND MONEY AND NOBODY GETS HURT!" several evil voices shouted as the lights slowly flickered on to reveal three men in black ski masks holding Relena and Rain hostage.
"HEERO!"
"DOMON!"
"AAAAHHHHHHH!!!" the masked men screamed in pain as the two women's voices burst their eardrums.
"I can't stand men!" Rain screamed as she slammed a pointed high heel onto her captor's foot, causing him to release her.
WHAAPOOWW! Went Dorothy's riding crop and whip as she lassoed Relena free and whipped the living daylights out of the pervert that had manhandled her.
"Take this!" The third man began throwing cotton candy bombs at Dorothy.
"DOUBLE DRAGON KICK!" Wufei and Sai slammed their Chinese slippers up the attacking man's nose, causing him to go flying into the bowl of spiked fruit punch, which Nastasha promptly set on fire as she performed the Beauty Fire Pole of Destruction Dance.
"How lovely." Une muttered as she began to roast a marshmallow and a German chocolate bar for her s'more.
"NOBLE SOUR WHIP!" Pretty magical girl Allenby pranced around the remaining standing men with a giant liquorice whip, and effectively managed to restrain one of them.
"You know, having candy at this party was a big mistake." Relena said.
"Tell me about it." Duo groaned as he finished binding the last masked man with the taffy that didn't really turn out as taffy.
"Oh enough with the masks already!" Domon suddenly walked up and yanked the mask off the first man.
"It's you!" Dorothy gasped. "I can't believe it's YOU!"
With a creepy laugh, the blonde girl ran over with a book.
"Can I have your autograph?!"
As the man signed, Dorothy's smile turned into a frown.
"HEY! YOU'RE NOT BRAD PITT!" she screeched and kicked the man over.
"Who is he, anyway?" Relena wondered as Nastasha removed the second mask in order to sacrifice it to the Fire God, Muka-Muka.
"I don't know who this guy is either!" Domon cried.
"Well that's shocking." Trowa muttered as he sidestepped Nastasha who had now embraced Une in her Sacrificing Masks to the Fire God and Hokey-Pokey Dance ceremony.
"And the final masked marauder and injustful party crasher is…" Wufei yanked the last mask off.
"The newly retired spokesperson for Colony Cleaning Products!" Rain gasped. "You were forced to retire since you had an unscrupulous scandal with the giant from that green vegetable can!"
"And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!" The retired man shouted.
"What… was that?" Sai wondered.
"LALALALALALA! SACRIFICE YOURSELF TO THE BURNING GOD OF PASSION AND YAOI!" Nastasha swooped down and set the retired man on fire, causing him to burn and explode! When the smoke cleared…
"I think that guy was actually an android made of flammable household cleaning chemicals." Rain declared as she checked her computer.
"Who cares? It's almost time!" George shouted.
"Time? Time for what?" Quatre wondered.
"It's time… for the mysterious rose to bloom in the garden of the devil… and " George continued, but nobody was really listening as they had gone back to gorging themselves on candy, dancing, and going to the bathroom to throw up the inedible candied apples.
"Well, that was an interesting evening." Duo said as he dragged Heero out the front door.
"Hn." Heero mumbled and continued sucking on a sucker.
"Thanks for coming you two! It was so nice to see you again Heero!" Relena chirped as Duo dragged the Little Bunny Foo-Foo to the car. However, Duo didn't even get within ten feet of the car as a giant MS foot came down and crushed it.
"No way! Is that Devil Gundam?" Domon yelled as everyone ran outside to see the massive hulking evil that just crushed Duo's car.
"That's impossible!" Rain shrieked. "The power of our love destroyed it!"
"OMAE O KOROSU!" Heero shouted and jumped into Wing Zero and started fighting with Devil Gundam.
"Is that the guy that was in the bunny suit?" Domon asked.
"Just get in the cockpit and FIGHT!" Rain booted Domon into Shining Gundam and turned on the mobile trace system.
Meanwhile, Wing Zero and Devil were fighting… Wing Zero managed to slice off one of Devil's arms, causing the rest of the enemy's body to explode into chocolate pumpkin candies.
"I knew it!" Domon said. "It's a fake!"
"It's… it's… a giant piñata!" Relena screamed for joy as she rushed to collect the most candies. Unfortunately for her, she wasn't the only one with that idea. Right on cue, everyone else jumped into the massive pile forming as candy rained down from the sky.
"YOU! ZERO TELLS ME THAT YOU WILL GET BETWEEN ME AND MY MISSION TO GET THE MOST CANDY!" Heero shouted to Domon.
"EH?! Well… I WANT CANDY TOO!" Domon shouted.
"OMAE O KOROSU!" Heero fired the buster rifle.
"SHINING FINGER!" Domon slammed his fist into the beam. A huge explosion took place and jack-o-lanterns around the world exploded into fresh baked pumpkin pies, for reasons unknown.
The next day…
"I never want to see another piece of candy again…" Heero moaned.
"Don't even think about moving!" Rain snapped as she refastened the restraints on Heero's body.
"If either of you move, you'll suffer massive internal injuries!" Relena sobbed.
"That's… nice to know." Domon groaned. "I need to use the bathroom."
"I told you not to eat all those candies Hee-chan!" Duo scolded.
"Men are such kids!" Rain shouted.
"MEN SUCK!" Relena agreed.
"HEY!" Domon and Duo protested.
"Be quiet!" Nurse Schwartz burst into the room.
"Is that you big brother?" Domon gasped.
"I SAID BE QUIET! This nurse outfit is not revealing my physique enough." The ninja complained, causing everyone in the room to fall over.
"That's his role in this comedy of error?" Domon sighed. "The Kasshu family is forever shamed."
"At least I'm not the one in a hospital bed from eating so much candy!" Schwartz retorted.
"OH YEAH?"
"YEAH!"
"Brotherly love sure is great, huh Relena?" Rain whispered.
"Wouldn't know." Relena sighed. Duo sighed. It was the beginning of a long day…
"Want to start planning the Thanksgiving dinner and dance?"
"Oh that would be lovely."
"Omae o korosu."
"Should we do Christmas as well?"
"Oh, PRESENTS!"
"RAIN!"
"OMAE O KOROSU!"
"Duo, I think visiting hours are over."
"So?"
"I'm a doctor! I SAID STAY STILL DOMON!"
"You know, we should avoid buying massive gold Christmas trees this year."
"It caused such a hassle last year."
"What kind of Gundam explodes into candy?"
"OMAE O KOROSU!"
"SHINING FINGER!"
"All right! THE END!"
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JC: Well, that was it! Hope everyone had a happy (and safe) Halloween!
Schwartz: I think I was horribly abused in this story.
JC: Yes, I'm sure you were. Anyway…
Heero: I refuse to accept I was hospitalized because of mass consumption of candy.
JC: The proud ones always are… What shall I do?
Duo: Pair me with Trowa! I don't want a fat boyfriend!
Heero: NANI? OMAE O KOROSU!
JC: Here we go again.
Duo: I'll try this! SHINING FINGER!
Heero: DUO! YOU HAVE LEARNED THE TECHNIQUES OF THE ENEMY… NOOOOO!!!
JC: The school of Domon Kasshu. That's scary.
Domon: What's so scary about that?
JC: (points to Master Asia)
Rain: That is scary.
Domon: Not you too Rain!
JC: School of Domon Kasshu! The winds of the kings!
Domon: OK! OK! I won't have such a dramatic motto.
JC: Good. That's all for now! BYE!