Disclaimer: Don't own these peeps.
Rory: This is an in-betweener of Thicker Than Water and Greener on the Other Side. You don't have to read them, this just amuses me.
"Titans East Base. Bumble Bee here." Pause. "From where?" Pause. "Oh. All right. It may take a while for us to get there, that's all. Now, what crime do you want to report?" Long pause. "I'm sorry, ma'am, we deal in real crimes, not myth investigation." Click.
"Titans East, Speedy speaking." Pause. "Calling from Chibi-Haagen Daas, you say?" Pause. "Oh, sorry. Cheboygan Manitoulin, then. Well, you've got a crime to report?" Long pause. "Okay then. Well, we deal in major crimes or possible mob or superhuman activity. I'll transfer you to the Department of Freaky Things Sightings." Click.
"Titans East, Mas hablo." Pause. "No hablo chines, senior." Click.
"Titans East, Wasp here." Pause. "WHAT? No, I am not wearing panties, thank you!" Pause. "No, I've never worn women's – hey, why do you want to know about my underwear? I'm a minor, buddy! This is harassment!" Slam.
"Titans East. Aqualad at your service." Pause. "Okay. Now, what is the crime you want taken care of?" Pause. "Look, lady, that's not a crime. That's a supernatural sighting. Talk to the Sun or something. Quit tying up our phone line."
"Titans East, yo soy Menos." Pause. "No, no me gusta el ropa interior la senorita! Adios, stupido!" Click.
"Titans East, Bumble Bee speaking. May I take this opportunity to remind callers that the Teen Titans are a superhero organization, not a supernatural sightings investigative squad, I speak fluent English, German, French, and Spanish, and I also wear women's underwear, because for your information I happen to be a woman. Now, what is your crime?" Click.
"Titans East, Speedy here." Pause. "Look. If you're trying to report a monster in your lake, forget it." Click.
"DAMMIT, WE ARE NOT SUPERNATURAL INVESTIGATORS!" Slam.
Aqualad sighed, tossing himself on the couch of the Titans East base. "That's the seventh one I've answered today," he told his friends wearily. "I seriously need to get in my room and back to my wor – um, my model car hobby."
"Suure ya do," Bumble Bee said. "But that's only the seventh one you answered. I already answered thirteen."
"Nine," Speedy volunteered.
"Cuatro," Mas y Menos chimed together.
"Six," Wasp said wearily.
Bumble Bee shook her head. "This is pathetic. Thirty-eight calls from people in some city in Michigan reporting some sort of monster in Lake Huron."
"Actually," Wasp said, "Only thirty-one."
The boy in the other couch nodded. "One from someone speaking in Chinese, one that Bumble Bee totally freaked out, and five from some perv wanting to know if we wore women's underwear."
Bee sighed. Boys. "Yeah, but all those people calling about a Loch Ness-type monster? It just isn't likely."
"Unless there was a Gullibility Convention again," Speedy pointed out. "When it was in Steel City, we spent the better part of a week convincing people that the sky wasn't falling, Aqualad was straight, and Britney Spears wasn't an alien sent from Pluto to destroy all intelligent men."
"That's stupid," Aqualad snorted. "Everyone knows it's Pamela Anderson from Neptune trying to destroy our conciousnesses."
Everyone stared at him.
"The point is that we almost never have this many coincidental calls at once," Bumble Bee pointed out.
Wasp nodded. "Maybe we should check it out."
Bumble Bee shook her head. "I've got patrol duty with Starfire and Robin in a couple of hours, and you have to take Mas y Menos to their English class at seven."
"Like the little mongrels learn anything anyways," Speedy grumbled.
"I'll have Robin send some Titans up from Jump City," she continued. "There's what, ten Titans over there? One of them has to be free."
Cyborg flicked the joystick back and forth between his fingers. If he could score this, he would beat Robin's one-player score by ten seconds flat. Just a bit more, a little to the –
"Hey, Cy!"
He moaned, practically whimpering. "BEeeeeEEEE! Whad'ya do that for? I was in the middle of something!"
His girlfriend's digital form glared at him. "I need to talk to Robin," she informed him. "We've got a bunch of people calling us about some sort of monster in Lake Huron and we're running short on agents. Can you lend us about four Titans to do the job?"
"Fine," he said. "ROBIN!" Cyborg bellowed. "BEE WANTS YA!"
A rather frazzled-looking Bumble Bee sighed. "Thanks, Cy."
"Any time."
Robin appeared through the door of the kitchen. "Yeah, Bumble Bee?" he asked with concern. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing major, but we need some people to check this Michigan town. We've gotten thirty-eight – " She flinched as a phone rang in the background. "Thirty-nine calls today."
The leader nodded. "All right," he said. "I'll send some Titans down…"
"Remind me again why we're doing this," Raven grumbled.
She was sitting in the front seat of the T-Car, which was on its way to Cheboygan Manitoulin. Cyborg was whistling cheerily next to her, Beast Boy was blabbering so-called 'jokes' in the back seat between Darkfire and Aqualad, and Claw was watching out the window with interest as they passed Detroit.
"Because we're Titans," Cyborg said.
" 'Cause Robin's makin' us," said Beast Boy at the same time.
She rolled her eyes. "Whatever."
After a long time – or so it seemed – they arrived at the shore of Lake Huron. Darkfire peered at it. "It is a body of water," he said, surprised.
"What were you expecting?" asked Beast Boy.
He thought about it. "A monster. Like the Horbag Calidad of legend. Or perhaps the Vensicle that comes at night to suck your blood! Or maybe even – "
"What's that?" Claw interrupted, pointing at the lake's surface.
Something had crawled up onto a rock and seemed to be gazing at the Titans, eyes glowing an eerie white. The six Titans stared back, all severely creeped out, until in splashed back into the lake.
"So it is real," Claw said.
Raven snorted. "For all we know, it could have been a patch of fog. Now, go swim over there and find out, Aqualad," she said.
He gave her a look. "Why don't you? You're not the leader."
"But I am," Cyborg said. "Aqualad, get your butt over there and find it!"
Beast Boy started laughing. Aqualad glared at him. "Dude, you're the swimmer," he said.
"And you can turn into a fish," he taunted.
Raven sighed. "Just someone go already so we can get back to Jump City. It's cold here."
As the Titans bickered, they didn't notice the dark shape swimming towards them in the water. It slid over, then climbed on the slick rocks up to where they stood.
It was then that Claw spoke. "Guys…I think this is the Lake Huron Monster."
They turned, shocked.
The 'monster' wasn't a monster at all. It was a girl.
She was very pretty. She was thin and proportioned, with jet-colored hair cropped at her shoulders. A few blue streaks crossed her dark locks. Her dark navy eyes were triangular and gazed at them with curiosity, set under thing, arched brows. She wore a black and blue outfit that crossed her chest and curved around her waist, over black and blue leggings and black calf-high boots. A blue badge with a black 'H' was pinned over her heart.
"Do you speak English?" she asked with a French accent.
They nodded.
"Well – who are you?" the girl asked curiously.
Cyborg was the first to shake it off. "Cyborg," he said, extending his hand. "I'm a Teen Titan from Jump City."
She nodded, going down on one knee, then standing again. Aqualad stared at her as though he had not seen her before. "I am Kiona Selence Agaurde. Call me – Hydra." The girl smiled.
"You're Atlantean," Aqualad said bluntly.
"Um, oui, I am Atlantean," she said. "I was raised in waters south of France, but from a Pacific branch of Atlantis." Hydra gave him a curious glance. "And you are - ?"
He glared at her. "None of your buisness," he said coldly.
Beast Boy hit the back of his head. "Dude, why so nasty?" he asked.
Raven sighed. "Well – we'd better tell Bumble Bee it was a false alarm." She turned to go, and the others went to follow.
"Wait."
They turned around. Hydra looked sad. "Where are you going?"
"Back to Jump City," Claw said.
"We're Titans," Darkfire added.
She looked confused. "Titans?"
Cyborg was ready to fill her in. "The Teen Titans are a group of teenage heroes based in Jump City, California, and branched into Steel City, New York. We have members across the country and the globe. Our lives are dedicated to saving others."
"Really?" Hydra looked desperate. "Take me with you."
All six Titans froze.
"Why not? I have powers. I have protected the lake from invasions before. My language skills with the fish have protected them from harm, and helped me find endangered fish before it was too late. I can help. Truly, I can."
Cyborg paused in thought. "Well," he began hesitantly, "We'd have to ask Robin, but – "
"Oh, thank you!" she cried happily, hugging his large metal form. She hugged each of the other Titans as well.
"Uh, you're welcome?" Raven said, patting the girl on the head a bit awkwardly.
Rory: Oops. This was going to be a one-shot, but it seems I need another chapter. That is, if I get enough reviews.