"Gorrammit!"
Kaylee looked up from doing dishes just in time to see Jayne burst into the mess. She watched, wide-eyed, as he shot a glance around, looking for somethin'. Or someone, maybe, goin' by that crazy look in his eyes.
"Where is she? Where the HELL is that gorram moon-brained little-" Kaylee blushed as Jayne let loose with a string of swear words that woulda put the Cap'n to shame. She was about to get outta the way real quick-like when her favorite voice spoke from the doorway.
"I assume from your numerous variations on 'crazy' that you're referring to my sister. What did she do to you this time? No visible bleeding, and you don't look too bad. Well, besides your face." Simon taunted Jayne as he leaned against the door frame.
Time was he never would've dared, but the years and the crew have worked on him, turning him into a stronger version of his old self. Kaylee muses on that, and thinks how much nicer he looks in sturdy pants and a work shirt than all them fancy vests. Like he's ready to do a hard day's work. Maybe a good night's work, too. She smirks at the images that thought brings to her mind. Yep, Simon's definitely improved.
At this moment, though, Jayne really doesn't give a horse's ass if Simon's 'grown as a person'. That woman is wearin' on his last ruttin' nerve. He'd tear this piece of go se ship apart to find her and get her back for-
"Girl is here." River still uses her old phrases once in a while. Nobody ever heals completely. Simon moves from the door as she comes in, getting out of the line of fire.
"What is it, Jayne? Did you lose something?" She cocks her head at him, an innocent smile on her face. Jayne forgets for a second, lookin' at her. That funny little expression on her face, that floaty dress remindin' him that she's a woman. He forces himself to focus.
"Ya know damn well I lost somethin'! Why'd ya be in here otherwise, huh?" he challenged her, thinkin' he'd finally won one.
River smiles wanly at him. "Boy is loud. Couldn't think. I came to see what was wrong."
Jayne's attitude immediately changes to one of concern.
"You readin' again? Thought you had that under control." He remembers those days. Those early days, where every stray thought was like a hornet flyin' 'round in her head, with an extra big stinger to boot. How they almost lost her, time an' time again.
How he almost lost her.
"No, silly." she soothes, "You're shouting so loud, I'm amazed that the whole Alliance fleet didn't come running to see what was wrong." There's that smile. That smile that reminds him that she is all knowing, and that he's a cow-headed moron.
Kaylee and Simon are wearin' similar smiles, sittin' at the table, watchin' the show.
"Oh. Well. 'Right then . . . where's my gorram gun? And don't look at me like that! You know which gun! My new one, just got 'er in the last port." He likes that gun. She's sleek, got an easy draw, hair trigger. Just what he needs.
"I wanted to check it out." she says with a shrug, "It's a nice gun." Again with the smile. He's convinced she knows, that he'll get found out.
He don't get the chance to ask, though, as River suddenly turns around and jogs towards the stairs leadin' to the cargo bay, leavin' Jayne starin' at empty space with his mouth slightly open. The look of consternation on his face turns Simon and Kaylee into a pile of giggles.
Jayne, robbed of the chance to argue with River, turns on Simon. He advances on the table, menace in every step.
He thunders at Simon, "She's your gorram sister, can't ya control her?" Jayne knows full well he can't.
Simon smirks, remembering a similar question, years ago. Jayne doesn't wait for his answer and storms after River.
"She's your gorram wife, why don't you give it a try!" he shouts after the big ape. Kaylee smiles at him. The sunshine in her eyes lights up the whole room.
"And how's that workin' for ya, the, 'I'm the husband, do as I say' approach?" she says as she nudges him in the side, "Not too shiny, last time I checked."
"Well, that's because I respect you too much to-" Kaylee's hand over his mouth stops him.
"Do NOT even start with that respect go se again. Thought I'd trained all that outta ya. Nope, I figure that particular approach don't work 'cause you wanna keep gettin' sexed up." They both think for a second about that.
Kaylee smiles at him again. "Smart man." She leans back in her chair a bit.
"Well, I was top three percent in my cla-" Simon stops talking when his wife leans over to him and kisses him, nice and soft. He likes it when she lets him have the opportunity to be the aggressor, and takes advantage whenever he can.
He pulls his beautiful Kaylee onto his lap, kissing her fiercely, like he's afraid it's the last time he'll get to do it. She pulls back, a sudden thought interrupting her good time.
"D'ya think we should make sure they're not rippin' each other to bits?", she asks with genuine concern in her eyes.
"No.", Simon says without hesitation, and he puts an end to all conversation by grabbing her hand and heading towards their bunk.