Saying Goodbye
Their breathing slows, beads of sweat fall from trembling skin. She presses her body up against her Captain, taking in the feeling of his haired chest against her breasts, her hands exploring the scars that adorn his broad frame. The Captain's cabin is dark, save for the deep blue glow that radiates from the aquarium wall. For now, no words are spoken; as if the slightest whisper could end the solace they share, entwined among the sheets.
Time passes, and Tali's voice is the first to break the silence.
"Shepard…r-remember Virmire?" she murmurs softly, turning her gaze towards the silent shapes in the aquarium, its light making her eyes shimmer subtly in the dark. "We were minutes away from assaulting Saren's base and everyone was so tense. When you a-asked me h-how I was holding up…" Her voice trails off, lost in the memory of crashing waves, the sound of Wrex's shotgun piercing the air, a grim reminder of the fight that lay ahead. After a moment's pause, she gracefully turns her head to stare up at him, exploring the contours of his face, searching for his response.
Shepard speaks, his voice distant and hushed. "You said you would fight with fire for me…that you would d--" He doesn't finish, unwilling to repeat words that might seal her fate in the coming battle. His eyes look away, betraying his trepidation of their coming task.
Her eyes do not falter from their gaze although her voice strains, unable to hide growing chill she now feels. "I will still give my life…for you Shepard. It's just…I'm afraid…of what the next few hours will mean for the team and for you and for…us.
He regains his composure, the soldier within him steeling his resolve for the moment.
"Tali, we have the best the galaxy has to offer at our side. We will stop the collectors - we will destroy their threat and live to tell about it, I promise! We beat Sovereign and survived, we will survive this too if we can be strong and work together.
His voice carries the unyielding presence and drive that she has come to expect from him yet his icy blue stare says something different. It speak words of sadness and regret. A silence settles over them before he finally relents.
"I'm sorry Tali…I wish we--"
She places one slender finger on his lips, gently silencing him.
"I'm not looking for an apology Shepard, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the galaxy than by your side. I am with you to the end." She reassures softly.
Tali feels the tears start to glide down her cheeks and turns away; there is no mask to hide them this time.
"I-I just wanted to tell you…you've done so much for me, from the thugs in the alley to saving Vetor and Kal, defending me at trial…" she continues with emotion building in every word "…for helping me find my father, and for s-sharing yourself with m-me." she ends with a fragile whisper. "For everything."
He softly caresses her face, guiding her mournful silver eyes back to his.
Peering up at Commander Shepard, her friend, captain and lover, her voice finds strength.
"T-thank you so much…" she breaths "you are the best thing that has ever happened to me Shepard."
Tali pulls herself closer and with a trembling voice speaks the words she has yearned to say to him for too long.
"I l-love you John."
His lips meet hers briefly.
"I love you too Tali'Zorah vas Normandy"
It is a voice filled with heart-felt concern yet shadowed by the burden of impending loss. What cruel irony, he thinks, that they find each other after two years, and many scars, only to be risk loosing it all, fighting for the greater good again.
Joker's voice interrupts over the loudspeaker. "ETA to the Omega 4 relay is 10 minutes."
A weary sigh escapes Shepard's lips as he releases Tali and moves towards the armor locker. Tali watches him, painfully aware that this would likely be their last moment together.
"John…" Tali cries softly, looking away into space "we never said goodbye last time…"
Tears stream down her face but she remains silent.
Shepard's armor drops to the ground as he sits down beside her, his eyes asking for forgiveness as they hold back tears of their own.
"I won't make the same mistake again."
Their lips meet and they kiss.
It is more than a kiss, it is the final goodbye of two lovers bound by fate to test the strength of their love in the gauntlet of battle. More than an expression of affection, it holds with it the fire of passion, the regret of lost years, the hope for a future, and the pain of knowing that a future will likely never come.
They ride down to the CIC together, holding hands and saying nothing.