A/N: I dedicate this story to codango from Archive of Our Own!

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail- characters belong to Hiro Mashima

Loke walked the streets of Magnolia, heading to what would be the new Guild Hall. The battle with Phantom Lord had destroyed a good part of the city as well as crushing the morale of many of the members. A goofy grin pulled on his lips, thinking back to the memories that the old building had given him; it was a place of refuge for him for these past three years. He met many great mages, made many friends, had many laughs, and finally felt like he had a place to call home. The smile fell from his lips as he realized that he would never have a true home, not here at least. The frown pulled at his face, his dark thoughts simmering below the surface. He knew his time was coming soon, he could feel himself become weaker and weaker as the days passed; the battle really drained him of what little energy he had left if he was being honest with himself. But he didn't want the others to know; he never wanted to place that burden on any of his friends. Taking in a deep breath, he scanned the hall for the takeover mage who served as both the face of Fairy Tail and the bartender for the guild. Her back was turned to him, pinning new requests on the board. She heard his footsteps and turned to him, giving him a wide smile.

"Why hello Loke, you're here awfully early," Mirajane grinned, pulling a glass from the makeshift bar she had assembled for the guild as they worked on rebuilding. He waved his hand, signaling that he didn't need a drink this morning. There was no point since he wasn't planning on staying long.

"Figured I would come catch you before the crowd makes their way in," he chuckled, trying to keep a light atmosphere.

"Oh? Is there something you need? Wanting to take a new mission?" she asked, head cocking to the side as she placed the glass back and laid her hands on the table. She could tell something was off with Loke; he hadn't been his usual self as of late, not that many of them were right now anyways, but it was slightly unnerving to see him alone with such a sullen look on his face. She was used to seeing him surrounded by his many 'girlfriends' with a smarmy grin plastered on his face as his hands wrapped around their waists. This Loke was, unsettling, to say the least.

"I'm not looking for a mission today, thank you though. However, there is something I need from you," he started, sucking in a breath and looking down at the counter.

"What is it Loke? Is everything okay?" she asked, worry tinting her voice.

I wish it were all okay. "I came here to tell you I am withdrawing from the Guild," he pushed out in a rushed voice, refusing to look up and see the hurt and confusion in her eyes. It was rare for members to leave the family that Fairy Tail was, and he knew that Mira would probably take a member leaving the hardest, what with Lisanna's death and all, but he knew he couldn't stay and die there. That would cause too much heartache for them all.

"Why Loke…?" She knew she had no right to ask; members were free to come and go as they pleased, but it still stung knowing that one of their own was about to leave.

"I have… some demons I need to deal with, and it's not something I can do while still being a member" he bit out, finally looking up to her azure eyes and instantly regretting that decision. He could see the tears sparkling in her eyes, yet she refused to shed them. He knew this was for the best, but it didn't lessen the pain any.

"I understand," she smiled softly, looking down at her hands, which were gripping the counter tightly. "It's just somewhat of a shock since we already lost one of our Namaka this morning," she whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"Lost someone? Who was it?" he asked, worry tinting his voice. He knew that Master Makarov had fallen extremely ill during the battle. It couldn't be him… could it?

"Lucy… She actually came by here not long before you did. She was frantic, almost in hysterics, asking to be dismissed from the Guild because of the guilt she felt. She also muttered something about needing to atone for things, but I couldn't quite catch it all."

"The attack… it wasn't her fault though!" he yelled, fists clenching. Sure, he avoided her the best he could, but that wasn't because she was a bad person, not at all. She was one of the most wonderful people that the Guild had ever met. He was just a cowardly bastard who couldn't face his own demons; demons that came in the form of Celestial Spirit mages.

"I know it isn't, and I tried to stress that to her, but she was having none of it. She was determined to leave and go back home, from what I could gather," she muttered, shaking slightly from repressed sobs. Loke shook his head, shoving his balled up fists in his pockets. He felt his hand brush against something and he pulled it out, face instantly losing color as he recognized the pouch with Lucy's keys in it.

"She-she left without her keys?" he muttered aloud in wonder, staring at the pouch as if it were a dangerous animal. To him, it was extremely dangerous for him to be in possession of her keys. He could practically feel the anger radiating from Aquarius's key; he was afraid that the spirits would pick up on his emotions and read him easily. He shoved them back into his coat pocket quickly, trying to put as much distance between them and him as possible.

"That's very un-Lucy like," Mira frowned. "Though I'm not sure what to do about it. She made it abundantly clear that she wanted no one from Fairy Tail to follow her."

"Well… I could deliver them to her. I'm technically not a part of Fairy Tail anymore," Loke offered and Mira glared sharply at him.

"You know that you will always be a part of Fairy Tail Loke!" He put his hands up in defense, shrugging at her words. She sighed, calming down. "I guess that you could do that. It's not like you would be trying to convince her to come back…"

"Nope. Would just be me delivering a missing item before heading off on my own," he assured her. He knew it was probably stupid to even offer to do this, but it was best that he completed the task. He personally knew of Aquarius's temperament and knew it was in Lucy's best interest to get her keys back to her before the mermaid found a way to force her gate open and kill the poor girl.

'And it would give you a chance to atone for at least one of your mistakes' his mind whispered. He regretted not getting to know Lucy better, but he knew it was for the best. He didn't want any of the spirits to recognize him, to see the shell of a man, of a spirit, that he had become. It also was supposed to make it easier for him to disappear when his time came, what with him not getting attached to another new person, though it had been hard to resist when he first met her. She was gorgeous; definitely someone he could see himself with, but once he saw the keyring resting on her hip, he knew that the possibility of seducing her was shot. Still, it didn't make him feel any less like shit that he didn't get to know such a wonderful person himself.

"Well, I guess it's settled then… you're dismissed from the Guild, and Lucy will get her keys back," Mira sighed, breaking him out of his thoughts. "You may want to get going soon, before the others show up. Please, do come visit from time to time," she pleaded, eyes wide.

"I'll make sure I do," he lied, knowing fully well that he maybe had a week left in him at the most. "Oh and Mira?"

"Yes Loke?"

"If the girls show up, can you break it to them easily that I left? They seemed to think I was joking last night when I broke up with them," he chuckled shyly, rubbing the back of his neck while remembering the slaps he received when he broke up with his 'girlfriends'.

"Stupid man," she muttered. "Of course I can. Have a safe trip, and give Lucy my love!" she called as he turned around and walked out of the guild, a wave the last thing he gave to her as he walked the streets of Magnolia once again before hailing a cab. He wasn't sure if he was ready for this, but he knew it was something he had to do. At least one person needed to know the truth, and as selfish as it was, he wanted Lucy to be that person.