Author's Note: Yes, I'm Jewish. Yes, I don't celebrate Christmas. Yes, according to the Death Note timeline, neither did Light and L. So, why am I writing a story like this? Actually, I got several ideas and they were too small to do anything w/, so I decided to put them all together into this: `Twas the Note Before Christmas. And I just came up with that title on the spot; nice pun, huh?

BTW, I've been watching yaoi anime, reading fanfics, and looking at fanart nonstop the past few days…This was bound to happen.

Inspiration: A really good Mello/Light fanfic ((don't judge me! I love the couple…)) for BB's part; "Sexy Naughty Bitchy" by Tata Young—really good DN vid for this song, "Sexy L, Naughty Light, Bitchy Mello"; the Mutts comic for today, Wed Dec 23, 2009…yes, I am utterly serious

Warning: This may scar your minds. ^_- Oh, and I wasn't in a lemon-writing mood, so there's an insane amount of references to sex, but not the actual act, which is why I've put the rating as T. No like, no read.
Also, this is obviously AU. Most is explained in the ever-confusing LxLight part, but just to de-confuse you readers: L and Light know he's Kira, but Light gave it all up to be with L 'cause he's totally not a complete douche in this universe. The Wammy Boys are still at the House. Oh, and BB did do everything in Another Note…except die.

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. If I did own one…Well, I'd be a much better Dictator of the World than Light ever would!

`Twas the Note Before Christmas

Light and L's Christmas Night

Light never looked forward Christmastime. Every year, he had to decorate a tree with his family, dress up in cheesy sweatshirts, and wear a dorky Santa hat while watching corny movies and specials. It was supposed to be a family time, a time to give presents to others. The only thing he looked forward to was the part where he got one good present from his sister, the only person that understood him.

Putting on a fake smile, he always thanked his parents for their "amazing" gifts, giving his own in return. His sister gave him one that his parents would approve of then too. Afterwards, usually that night, when their parents were spending some quality alone time with each other a few bottles of champagne, Sayu would sneak into his room with his special gift.

…Flashback…

"Light, what are these BL novels doing hidden where I thought you kept the porn magazines?" L asked curiously while holding up a small pink and violet novel. He was obviously referring to the encyclopedia covers that hid female porno that Light had used while under camera surveillance.

Rubbing the back of his head, Light turned to his lover and explained, "Only one volume of those encyclopedia covers held the magazines, in case my parents decided to snoop…or you decided to watch me…The others all hold BL novels that Sayu always got me for Christmas." He laughed nervously and went back to packing his clothes.

Today was the day he was moving out of his parents' house and into the Investigation building with L. He and his lover were packing all of the rest of his belongings, including the bookshelves.

"Oh, so your sister knew you were gay…For how long?" L questioned. Honestly, he didn't know his lover had known about his own homosexuality before they met. There were many things he didn't know about him, though…

"Ah, for years. Since she read in my diary that I lost my first kiss to a boy in my class after he showed me some boys' love. So…it's been, what, five years?" Light explained without turning around.

After a pause, L went back to his work, not wanting to continue the conversation.

…Present…

Tonight, however, was Light's first Christmas with L, his lover. They had long since been a couple. During their time handcuffed together, during those long months, Light eventually admitted that he was gay and proceeded to tell L that he was in love with him. It was quite an awkward moment, but L soon got used to it, finally giving in and admitting he was attracted to Light. Sooner or later, he fell in love too.

After they caught Higuchi, Light had to make the important decision of staying with his lover or killing him. Pleasure or being a god? Which did he choose?

Higuchi wound up in jail after forfeiting ownership of the Death Note—causing it to fall into Light's possession—and Light wound up confessing to L that he was Kira, but gave it up for him. Shoving everything under a rug, L made the biggest decision of his life and proclaimed Kira gone once and for all. There had been no killings since.

"Merry Christmas," Light murmured against L's chest, waking up in his lover's embrace. L returned the sentiment and told Light he would be getting his present later that night. Light moaned and buried his head in L's chest, gaining a rumbling from L's chuckles.

With a sigh, Light got up and started getting dressed, still sore from that last night's activities. "Well, you're gonna be getting yours tonight, too, Lawli-chan."

"I told you that name is so degrading. And Light-kun's the female in our relationship anyway," L pouted. "…Light bulb," he muttered, knowing how much Light hated the English nickname.

Clothes that were supposed to be placed upon said lighting-fixture's body fell to the floor as he gracefully walked towards the bed once more. "You have to admit, I'm much brighter than any light bulb…" He leaned over L and pushed their lips together

…

Basking in the after-glow of sex, the two detectives were startled awake by their bedroom door slamming open. "Merry Christmas, Onii-chan! Merry Christmas, Ryuzaki-san!" a teenage girl barged in, followed by an apologetic older man, Watari.

Taking in the two men lying naked on their bed, Sayu quickly raised a hand to cover their lower bodies from her innocent eyes, whining, "Do you guys ever make it out of bed?!"

They looked at each other, the turned back and answered bluntly, "No."

She sighed and said she'd give them five minutes to get dressed and come downstairs to open their presents. Knowing that there would be horrifying consequences if they didn't follow the younger girl's orders, they quickly dressed and took the elevator down…making out while waiting to reach their desired floor.

When the doors opened, Sayu was standing outside of them, waiting impatiently with her foot tapping madly. L had pinned Light to the wall, straddling his waist, as they were sitting by then. They each looked up sheepishly at Light's sister and stood, Light smoothing out his clothes, L just walking out of the small space as if nothing had happened.

Light's family was waiting for them when they arrived. Gifts were opened and smiles were exchanged, and soon the Yagamis had to take their leave. Before following her parents, Sayu turned to the happy couple and whispered, "I had Watari leave your real present on your bed…" With that, she winked and left.

After one look at each other, L and Light turned about face and ran as fast as they could, too antsy to wait in the elevator, up the stairs and into their bedroom. Lying perfectly still, perfectly innocent, on their bed. They rushed to it, tearing off the wrapping paper. Inside the box was…

How the hell was Sayu, a fourteen-year-old girl, able to walk into a shop like that and buy this? "Oh, wait, Light-kun, there's a note." L reached in, hand avoiding the actual presents, and pulled out the slip of paper. He read aloud, "Dear Onii-chan and Ryuzaki-san, I hope you will enjoy your gifts to their…fullest potential. Oh, and I ordered them online using your credit card, Onii-chan. I hope you don't mind! With heaps and loads of love, Sayu." L looked up at the look of irritation set in Light's face. "Well, that explains how she was able to buy them."

Light just closed the box, not willing to tell L all the actual thoughts running through his head. Let the man think that he's just mad at his sister…

…

That night, Light couldn't wait to give L his present, knowing exactly when he'd give it too. He'd spent good money on it and couldn't wait to see his lover's face.

Walking into their bedroom, Light was greeted with quite a sight: L was sitting on their bed with nothing but a Santa hat on. Wait, make that…two Santa hats…

Light placed his gift on the nightstand and stripped for his Santa. Staring lustily at his show, L asked, "Do you know why Santa is so…jolly?"

"No…" Light breathed, crawling onto the bed and pulling off the second red and white hat, his hands taking its place. "Tell me…"

"Because he knows where all the naughty boys live…" L growled and pushed the other onto his back, climbing on top of him. "And boy, have you been naughty…" His lips fell onto Light's chest, taking one of his nipples into his mouth. Light's mind instantly flickered to Kira and the Death Note, wondering if that's what Santa L had meant by him being naughty, but knowing that thinking that will kill the mood. So he just went with L's little role-play.

After a sharp nip at his neck, Light arched his back, pressing his crotch into L's, moaning loudly. "You're such a ho, ho, ho, Light-kun…" L chuckled at his own little joke, no doubt having practiced them many times before this…most likely finding them on some stupid website.

Nevertheless, it turned on Light even more…

Several rounds later, before either could fall asleep, Light reached for the box on the nightstand, handing it to his sweaty partner. "Merry Christmas," he whispered as L opened the velvet case. Inside was what seemed like two metal versions of L's insignia. When he pulled one out, he realized they were each dangling from a collar of a clear material, the only other visible thing being the clasps.

With a smile that seemed almost a smirk, he wrapped the clear collar around Light's neck, putting it together in the back. Lying in the middle of his neck, as if unsupported by anything, was L's insignia. It was then that he noticed the dark, almost black jewel set into the metal. Looking at the other one still in the box, he saw an amber jewel set into its L.

Light pulled that collar out and put it around L's neck. "Now you are mine and only mine, and vice versa. And…our eyes will always be on each other…" he added, fingers rubbing the amber jewel so similar to his eye color on L's neck.

With a contented sigh, L hugged his lover close, whispering, "I love you."

"I love you, too…"

Author's Note: I was so close to having Sayu give Light the complete set of Junjou Romantica in front of his parents, saying something like, "Well, now that you're out of the closet, I don't have to hide my gifts anymore!" *giggles* I thought this was better for the story.

Alright, so, this is the first chapter of the story. As you know from the summary, there'll be two more. Sadly, I did the stupid thing and put the one I have ABSOLUTELY no plot for next, and the one that has one line that I wanna use so badly last. Well, I guess it'll be a treat for me.

This was originally a one-shot, and was only supposed to have the Santa hat thing and those corny jokes. Aren't you glad I didn't just leave it at that?

Reviews me the world to me!