Disclaimer: roses are red, violets are blue, I no own, you no sue.

" cartman, you asshole, I'm going to kill you!" Wendy Testaburger screamed.

" not before I kick you in the balls you hoe!" Cartman yelled back.

"ugh! I hate you!"

" I love you!"

"….. wait, what?" Wendy looked shocked.

Cartman leaned forward and kissed her hard. Wendy's eyes opened in shock, but she found herself kissing back. Cartman pushed her against the wall, and moved his hands down to her waist.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a second! I guess I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. So lets go back.

24 hours before

that's more like it. A loud 10th grade classroom calms down as the teacher walks in. It's the south park high English class, and today was oral report day. "settle down children." Mr. Garrison said, bored already. " alright, oral reports." Cartman sniggered in the back. "Well, because you think its soo funny Eric, why don't you come up and share yours with us?" He groaned. "alright." He walked up to the front of the class. Eric Cartman was 16 years old, and already 6'3. He used to be a rather large child, but over the years he had transformed. He was muscular, but not large. His shaggy brown hair perfectly accentuated his brown eyes. He was one of the most handsome boys, undoubtedly, in the class. Only after Stan Marsh and Kenny Mckormick, maybe. There was only one problem. "My report is on the corruption of jews and women in the workplace" He was a complete asshole. "Eric!" Mr. Garrison barked. "alright, alright. Its on the boring book we got assigned. The Grapes of wrath is probably the most boring book in history. I litteraslly fell asleep while reading. Its about some boring jazz age stuff. Whatever." He sat back down. "F, as usual." Mr. Garrison said. "Oh, come on. You cant blame me for how boring it was." He replied. "Wendy, your up." Garrison said. She walked to the front of the class, oozing confidence. She glared as she walked pass cartman. "I, on the other hand, actually read the whole thing and have a full 5 page essay on it." Cartman yawned. "is this one gonna be a long and boring as the last.?" He yelled. " shut up, fatass!" she said. Wendy Testaburger was only 5'7 and tiny by comparison to cartman, but she wasn't afraid. She had black as night hair, with a small beret sitting on top of her head. She had a pretty heart shaped face, with chocolate eyes and dark long lashes, and full lips. But it wasn't her face or body that stood out, it was her personality. She was an animal rights activist, a vegan, woman's equality activist and a natural born leader. And she was cutthroat when it came to cartman. The've hated each other, ever since 3rd grade. She rambled on and read the whole 5 pages, and by the end almost everyone was asleep. "wh- what? Oh yeah. Wendy a plus as usual." She sat back down. " I thought that was great." Stan Marsh, her on again off again boyfriend, who she broke up with officially last year, whispered to her. He still wasn't over her. She sighed. "I didn't" cartman yawned. "I hated all 2 pages I stayed awake for." He smirked. She kept her anger under control but still took a page from Craig's book and flicked him off. The bell rang. She gathered her stuff to leave when she ran straight into cartman, almost touching faces, inches apart. Her books scattered to the ground, but she didn't notice. "I'll get them!" stan yelled and started eagerly picking them up. "W- watch where you're going hoe." He looked as nervous as tweak. He was blushing. She realized she was too. She also realized they hadn't moved apart. "whatever, fatass." She said distanly as she turned around to get her books from stan. "thanks." She muttered, and ran out the door…