Turtles Review

Disclaimer: No I don't own the turtles, I just love how they have been created and writing about them. This is a fly on the wall into what the Ninja Turtles really feel about their fan fiction stories. Please note: I think Mike and Raph have been drinking far too much red cordial during this story. This story may be a little weird at parts.

Rated PG

Part 1

Mike and Raph

"Seriously Mikey, can you believe some of this stuff?" Raphael looked at his brother and then back at the computer screen.

"Na, bro, how come there's so much on us trying to top ourselves or one of us trying to kill the other one?"

"Yeah there are some sickos in this world. Come on you fan fiction people – get this straight – me and Mike don't want to top ourselves and well we can only speak on behalf of our older bros – but we're not suicidal. Got it?"

"And what's all this crap about me wanting to kill Mikey here? I mean yeah I bag the shit out of him and all, but hello he's my little bro? Don't you loonies have siblings? You obviously don't – well none like Mikey here… trust me – he can be an annoying little pain in the arse – hello he's 100 baby brother material here – it's his position to be annoying."

"Hey, I am still here you know!" Mikey tapped Raphael's shell.

"I'm trying to tell them to get over me wanting to kill you! I mean we're too close for that. Besides Mike and me are best pals, he bugs me, but not as much as the oldest brother – trust me – the oldest in the family always is the biggest pain in the rear end. You agree Mikey?"

"Oh yeah, Leo is a pain! We've tried selling him on eBay but the only offer was 5 cents so far, and that was a year ago!" Both turtles laugh.

"Yeah what did we say "Green ninja expert, comes already trained in ninjitsu and well disciplined. He'd make a great security door person and won't sleep on the job. Comes with free set of very large stake knifes!"

Both end up on floor laughing hard.
"Yeah very large sake knifes indeed!" Mikey managed to get out.

When they had gotten out their laughter, Mikey said "At least you haven't had these fan ficies turning you into a girl and having Leo jump you! Ewe!!!!!!!!!! That is just sick!"

"Seriously why do people write this sick stuff about incense and homosexuality? I know on the show we're portrayed as five guys living together – but in reality – we all got girlfriends – even Splinter – yap you heard it first – Splinter's a bit of a stud with the ladies."

"Yeah when we were little we had different Mum's each month! We just called them Mum, they weren't our real Mum offcourse – they weren't turtles – so you know."

"Mikey, Splinter isn't a turtle either…. Plus these people on the net will believe what you just said – we never had any mother, just Splinter – stop telling tales."

"Oh yeah, I forgot. You tend to forget at times that he's a rat and not a turtle like us…."

"Your twisted Mikey, seriously twisted. He's a rat, with fur; we're turtles with shells and no fur?"

"But you know what I mean Splint is the bomb. He's with the hood."

Raphael falls off the chair in hysterics.

"What are you two doing?" Donetello peeks in through the doorway and sees Raphael on the floor laughing.

"Mikey… Mikey… says… says... Splinter… is with … da… hood!"

"Huh, how do you come to that Mikey?"

"He's with us, he's one of us, and he's in our Hood."

"I think we should stop you from watching all those African American shows and movies. I think they're affecting your brain…."

"Oh sorry we forgot, your brain already came malfunctioning," Raphael piped in.

Michealangelo jumped down on top of Raph and began punching him with all he's got.

"Stop picking on me!"

"Bite me bro." Raphael just laughed as Mikey started to punch him up like a girl.

"Mikey get off him!" Leonardo walked in and stood over the two youngest turtles.

"Oh no, it's big brother – he's been watching us again!" Mikey rolled off his brother.

"Your time is up; now kindly leave so me and Donnie can have our turn with the computer."

"What do you mean? Don's always got the computer," Mikey said, annoyed that their time was up already.

"Can we just check how our item on eBay is going?" Raphael asked. Mikey gave him a wicked grin back.

"Oh if you must, but hurry up!" Leo put his hands on his hips.

"Man, your worst than having a mother!" Raph said as he sat down and typed in what he was looking for. Mikey got in so that only he and Raph could see the screen. Both turtles chuckled when they reached the site they were after.

"Hey look Leo; you've gone up in value to 10 cents!" Raph and Mikey quickly got up, so the other two turtles could see what their brothers were on about.

Donnie read the screen and just laughed, "I remember you putting him up for auction last March. Unlike most things, your price doesn't inflate too much over time."

Leo looked at the screen and back at his younger brothers.

"Who is responsible for this?"

"I'm outta here", Mikey was out the door before anyone could stop him, Raph shortly followed.