HEIHACHI'S FUNERAL

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Old man Heihachi was sleeping in the living room and Kazuya walked in.

"You. Wake up!" Kazuya ordered, poking Heihachi. Heihachi didn't move. Jin entered the living room.

"Dad...what are you doing?" Jin asked uninterestedly.

"Trying to wake up the old fart." Kazuya said poking Heihachi some more. Jin rolled his eyes and sat on the couch opposite Heihachi, and started to read. The door slammed and Lee walked in.

"What's your problem, fag?" Kazuya asked with a smirk.

"Shut up. I had a bad day at work. What the hell are you doing?" Lee asked, dropping his briefcase on Heihachi's head.

"The old geezer isn't waking up!" Kazuya said. Kazuya and Lee began poking and kicking Heihachi. Twenty minutes passed and Heihachi still didn't wake up. Jun came back from her grocery shopping.

"Kazzy, Lee, Jinny. What are you boys up to?" Jun asked brightly.

"Grandpa isn't waking up." Jin said, putting down his paper. Jun looked shocked.

"Jinny, I think you should go up to your room. I'll call you later." Jun said. Jin looked confused but he went to his room. Jun quickly went to Heihachi and checked his pulse.

"Heihachi's dead." Jun whispered sadly. Jun burst out crying while Kazuya and Lee pumped their fists in the air. Jin, who heard from upstairs, was screaming for joy.

"This calls for a celebration! Lee, get out the most expensive champagne we have." Kazuya ordered gleefully. Jin came back downstairs as Lee went to find champagne.

"The most wonderful news I have ever heard!" Jin exclaimed jumping for joy. Jun clenched her teeth.

"KAZUYA, JIN, AND LEE. SHOW SOME RESPECT FOR THR DEAD!" Jun screamed. Kazuya, Lee and Jin stopped dead in their tracks.

"Mom, do you realize what you just said? You want us to respect Heihachi? He threw his only son off a cliff, then a volcano. He shot his grandson in the head and disowned his adopted son. Aren't you even a little bit happy that he is dead?" Jin asked. Jun was quiet for a while. Suddenly a big smile came over her face.

"Your right. Let's celebrate." Jun said opening the champagne bottle. Kazuya, Jin and Lee started cheering and dancing again. After they drank to Heihachi's death, they decided to round up the Tekken crew to spread the good news.

[A while later, the Tekken crew arrives]

"This better be good!" Bryan said, punching holes in the wall. Kazuya walked in to the room with a big smile on his face.

"Everyone, I am pleased to tell you... HEIHACHI HAS FINALLY DIED!" Kazuya exclaimed, barely controlling his happiness. Most of the people in the room started cheering. Xiaoyu cried, Lei thought over the possibility of murder, and Bryan seemed completely unconcerned.

"When's the party? I mean... the funeral?" Hwoarang said. Everyone went quiet.

"I planned everything. The funeral is next week. I want all of you to come! After the funeral we will have a party." Jun said cheerfully. The Tekken crew went back to cheering.

"Um... do we have to wear black and crap?" Anna asked, pointing to her red dress.

"Yes." Jun said bluntly.

"Which one of you killed him?" Lei asked pulling out a notepad.

"Sit down, idiot! He died on his own!" Kazuya shook his head.

"How long is this funeral?" Paul asked.

"Short, so we can have a big party afterwards." Lee said. Everyone cheered again.

"Is there free food?" Ganryu asked, munching on a drumstick.

"Sure."

"One more thing. It's an open-casket funeral. You get to walk by the body and punch it." Kazuya said with a smile. Everyone started to cheer some more.

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A/N: If we get reviews, we'll continue.