Spike took a long, slow drag on his cigarette, doing his best to
maintain his image. He looked like an utter fool, standing in the line all
by himself. In the middle of haggard, tired-eyed parents with small
children attached to their legs, he stuck out worse than a sore thumb. He
could have at least taken Edward along- but no, that woman had to have her.
"Could this damned line move any slower?!" he moaned aloud. Several mothers nearby glared angrily at him, but didn't bother to complain. Spike was obviously the type who didn't handle nagging complaints too well. The queue of naggers stretched far behind and ahead of him, zigzagging back and forth between shops and vending carts. They all wanted to see one thing-
Santa Claus. The big Papa Noel.
Spike kneaded through his bushy hair in exasperation. "I can't believe I'm doing this..."
"Excuse me, sir!" A cheerful voice sang out. He pretended to ignore it.
"Si-ir!" the young woman rang out again.
He sighed and turned about. "Yeah, what do you-" he eyed her up and down, and hesitated "...want..."
The teenager was decked out for the season. She wore her crimson red hair in a straight flume that spilled out from under a pointed forest-green cap. An extensive amount of blush made her cheeks obnoxiously red. She wore a green vest with a striped shirt beneath, a short green skirt with white tights, pointed and belled green shoes, and, to top it all off, artificial ear extensions.
"Please tell me you work here..." he said with a smirk, trying to hold back a chuckle.
Somehow, she flushed even redder from embarrassment than makeup. "Yes, I do!"
"Good. Then maybe you can tell me when the hell this line is supposed to start moving."
The girl lifted her nose, trying to look very proper. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to refrain from using such language around children. Also, smoking is not permitted in the mall, save the smoking room located-"
"Alright already, I'll stop," he interrupted, ashing out his nicotine on a velvet divider.
The elf shrieked. "Sir! That's private property!"
He rolled his eyes. "Listen girlie, I don't have a lot of time, so if you could just tell me when this line is gonna go somewhere..."
This time, she sighed. "I'm sorry, but we're very busy today, and-" she stopped suddenly, looking around. "Hey, where's your kid?"
Now it was Spike's turn to be embarrassed. "Well, uh..." he looked around for a stray child. "I guess he ran off on me!" he said with a nervous smile.
The girl gave him a dry look. "Okay... Let us know he you need help 'finding' him..." Then she left, going on to help the next complaining customer.
Finally, almost an hour later, Spike reached the end of the line. It suddenly struck him that, even with all the time he spent standing there, he didn't know how he was going to approach this guy. You can't just pull out a gun on a mall Santa in front of a bunch of kids. Looked like he'd have to play it by ear, as usual. Calm and casual, he reminded himself. He stuck his hand in his pockets as he approached the man in the red suit. He sat in a big chair, adorned by festive garlands and candy canes. Several teenagers dressed like the red headed girl bustled around him, one with a camera. They all stared at Spike as he made his way over by himself, keeping his eyes on the floor. When he was a few feet from the big Christmas throne, Spike stopped.
"The big man himself..." he began, holding his gaze fixed downwards.
Santa groaned. "Look, buddy, I'm a little low on cash and I needed a job. I know it's humiliating, and I don't need guys like you to make it worse for me. So if you don't mind, we've still got a lot of customers to deal with before closing time."
Spike lifted his head and smiled. "You think that's what this is about? Heh. No, that's not my kind of thing. I'm here to claim that twelve million wulong reward."
Claus eyed him suspiciously. "What reward?"
"For your capture, of course." He put a hand in the inside of his suit coat, then withdrew it a little, showing the handle of his pistol. "Now, I don't wanna make a scene, so if you'll just come with me..."
Suddenly frightened, he stood up, his hands in the air. The elves around him froze- except one. Feeling some idiotic sense of duty to protect the false Father Christmas, a young man dashed into Spike, attempting to knock him off his feet. The bounty hunter hadn't seen him coming, and caught the full force of the impact. He sprawled to the ground, and his Jericho flew from his hand, arcing gracefully through the air before landing in a crowd of people.
"He's got a gun!" a woman screamed, and chaos began. Shopping bags frantically bashed into each other, parents scooped children into their arms, and people knocked each other over, scurrying in whatever way they thought the exit was. Santa seized the moment and took off like a bullet.
Spike cursed and brought himself to his feet. He spotted his gun nearby on the floor and dove for it, snatching it out from beneath trampling feet. There was another chorus of screams around him, and suddenly there was a big, open circle separating Spike from the crowd. He looked around, but the fat man was nowhere to be found. "Not losing out on twelve mil that easily..." he muttered. He scanned the area, and found a vantage point. It was so big, he was sure he could pick out everyone in the mall plaza from just halfway up it. By now, people seemed to forget what the commotion was all about, and Spike had to shove his way through them just to reach his target- the fifty foot tall Christmas tree.
The bottom branches were thick and long, so he could probably scale them easily. He grabbed onto to a limb above him and hauled himself up, setting his feet on another branch nearby. He reached up higher, and repeated the process. After he had climbed a few levels, it seemed he was running out of branches, and the tree was leaning considerably.
He looked down below. "Stupid, stupid Spike..." he mumbled to himself, as the behemoth plant swayed to one side. He yelped and braced for the fall as the thing tipped over, coming crashing down to the ground, sending shoppers fleeing. Ornate globes and lights smashed to the tile in a crystalline rain. Luckily, nobody was hurt- except Spike.
"Ow..." he groaned, rubbing his knees and elbows as he picked himself off the ground. As he stood, out of the corner of his eye he saw one of the elves dart into a door along the wall, disappearing behind it. Spike immediately ran to it, pushing through the panicked masses. Flinging the door open, he followed a corridor until he reached another room. He carefully laid his hand on the knob, then whipped the doorway far back on its hinges, entering the room gun first.
The hammer clicked as it pointed at the quivering red mass up against the wall.
"Freeze," Spike commanded with a smug tone. Elves yelled and scattered, but Claus didn't move. Apparently, Spike had caught them in their locker room, for it seemed some of them had gathered their personals and were about to dash out. He walked calmly over to Claus, keeping his gun level all the while. Tears streamed down the man's cheeks.
"Please don't kill me... I didn't do anything wrong... Please don't kill me..." he prayed under his breath.
Spike chuckled. "I'm not going to kill you. If you die, I don't get your bounty." He then used his free hand to tear away the man's beard and cap. He studied his now clean face for a moment. "Wait-" he reached into his pocket, flipped on his videophone, and stared at the file photo he had saved on it. "You don't look like this guy!" he accused angrily, holstering his gun. "Must have been some bad information..."
The man breathed a sigh of relief and slumped to the floor. "Thanks a lot, pal. Now I'll be lucky if I'm not fired."
Spike lit up a cigarette. "What do I care?," he replied, his voice riddled with irritation. "If you hadn't ran in the first place, we wouldn't be in this mess."
His eyes went wide. "Maybe if you hadn't turned a gun on me-"
From nowhere, a clenched fist caught Spike across the cheek, sending his cigarette out of his lips and him to the ground.
He looked up and saw the redheaded elf standing over him and fuming, her one eyebrow visibly twitching, her fists balled. "If that is all, you can go now!" she blurted out.
Spike blinked in surprise.
"And there is no smoking IN THIS MALL, SIR!" she screamed.
Spike gazed at bewildered for a moment, speechless. He shrugged. "Yes, ma'am..." With that, he got up and left in a hurry.
"Could this damned line move any slower?!" he moaned aloud. Several mothers nearby glared angrily at him, but didn't bother to complain. Spike was obviously the type who didn't handle nagging complaints too well. The queue of naggers stretched far behind and ahead of him, zigzagging back and forth between shops and vending carts. They all wanted to see one thing-
Santa Claus. The big Papa Noel.
Spike kneaded through his bushy hair in exasperation. "I can't believe I'm doing this..."
"Excuse me, sir!" A cheerful voice sang out. He pretended to ignore it.
"Si-ir!" the young woman rang out again.
He sighed and turned about. "Yeah, what do you-" he eyed her up and down, and hesitated "...want..."
The teenager was decked out for the season. She wore her crimson red hair in a straight flume that spilled out from under a pointed forest-green cap. An extensive amount of blush made her cheeks obnoxiously red. She wore a green vest with a striped shirt beneath, a short green skirt with white tights, pointed and belled green shoes, and, to top it all off, artificial ear extensions.
"Please tell me you work here..." he said with a smirk, trying to hold back a chuckle.
Somehow, she flushed even redder from embarrassment than makeup. "Yes, I do!"
"Good. Then maybe you can tell me when the hell this line is supposed to start moving."
The girl lifted her nose, trying to look very proper. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to refrain from using such language around children. Also, smoking is not permitted in the mall, save the smoking room located-"
"Alright already, I'll stop," he interrupted, ashing out his nicotine on a velvet divider.
The elf shrieked. "Sir! That's private property!"
He rolled his eyes. "Listen girlie, I don't have a lot of time, so if you could just tell me when this line is gonna go somewhere..."
This time, she sighed. "I'm sorry, but we're very busy today, and-" she stopped suddenly, looking around. "Hey, where's your kid?"
Now it was Spike's turn to be embarrassed. "Well, uh..." he looked around for a stray child. "I guess he ran off on me!" he said with a nervous smile.
The girl gave him a dry look. "Okay... Let us know he you need help 'finding' him..." Then she left, going on to help the next complaining customer.
Finally, almost an hour later, Spike reached the end of the line. It suddenly struck him that, even with all the time he spent standing there, he didn't know how he was going to approach this guy. You can't just pull out a gun on a mall Santa in front of a bunch of kids. Looked like he'd have to play it by ear, as usual. Calm and casual, he reminded himself. He stuck his hand in his pockets as he approached the man in the red suit. He sat in a big chair, adorned by festive garlands and candy canes. Several teenagers dressed like the red headed girl bustled around him, one with a camera. They all stared at Spike as he made his way over by himself, keeping his eyes on the floor. When he was a few feet from the big Christmas throne, Spike stopped.
"The big man himself..." he began, holding his gaze fixed downwards.
Santa groaned. "Look, buddy, I'm a little low on cash and I needed a job. I know it's humiliating, and I don't need guys like you to make it worse for me. So if you don't mind, we've still got a lot of customers to deal with before closing time."
Spike lifted his head and smiled. "You think that's what this is about? Heh. No, that's not my kind of thing. I'm here to claim that twelve million wulong reward."
Claus eyed him suspiciously. "What reward?"
"For your capture, of course." He put a hand in the inside of his suit coat, then withdrew it a little, showing the handle of his pistol. "Now, I don't wanna make a scene, so if you'll just come with me..."
Suddenly frightened, he stood up, his hands in the air. The elves around him froze- except one. Feeling some idiotic sense of duty to protect the false Father Christmas, a young man dashed into Spike, attempting to knock him off his feet. The bounty hunter hadn't seen him coming, and caught the full force of the impact. He sprawled to the ground, and his Jericho flew from his hand, arcing gracefully through the air before landing in a crowd of people.
"He's got a gun!" a woman screamed, and chaos began. Shopping bags frantically bashed into each other, parents scooped children into their arms, and people knocked each other over, scurrying in whatever way they thought the exit was. Santa seized the moment and took off like a bullet.
Spike cursed and brought himself to his feet. He spotted his gun nearby on the floor and dove for it, snatching it out from beneath trampling feet. There was another chorus of screams around him, and suddenly there was a big, open circle separating Spike from the crowd. He looked around, but the fat man was nowhere to be found. "Not losing out on twelve mil that easily..." he muttered. He scanned the area, and found a vantage point. It was so big, he was sure he could pick out everyone in the mall plaza from just halfway up it. By now, people seemed to forget what the commotion was all about, and Spike had to shove his way through them just to reach his target- the fifty foot tall Christmas tree.
The bottom branches were thick and long, so he could probably scale them easily. He grabbed onto to a limb above him and hauled himself up, setting his feet on another branch nearby. He reached up higher, and repeated the process. After he had climbed a few levels, it seemed he was running out of branches, and the tree was leaning considerably.
He looked down below. "Stupid, stupid Spike..." he mumbled to himself, as the behemoth plant swayed to one side. He yelped and braced for the fall as the thing tipped over, coming crashing down to the ground, sending shoppers fleeing. Ornate globes and lights smashed to the tile in a crystalline rain. Luckily, nobody was hurt- except Spike.
"Ow..." he groaned, rubbing his knees and elbows as he picked himself off the ground. As he stood, out of the corner of his eye he saw one of the elves dart into a door along the wall, disappearing behind it. Spike immediately ran to it, pushing through the panicked masses. Flinging the door open, he followed a corridor until he reached another room. He carefully laid his hand on the knob, then whipped the doorway far back on its hinges, entering the room gun first.
The hammer clicked as it pointed at the quivering red mass up against the wall.
"Freeze," Spike commanded with a smug tone. Elves yelled and scattered, but Claus didn't move. Apparently, Spike had caught them in their locker room, for it seemed some of them had gathered their personals and were about to dash out. He walked calmly over to Claus, keeping his gun level all the while. Tears streamed down the man's cheeks.
"Please don't kill me... I didn't do anything wrong... Please don't kill me..." he prayed under his breath.
Spike chuckled. "I'm not going to kill you. If you die, I don't get your bounty." He then used his free hand to tear away the man's beard and cap. He studied his now clean face for a moment. "Wait-" he reached into his pocket, flipped on his videophone, and stared at the file photo he had saved on it. "You don't look like this guy!" he accused angrily, holstering his gun. "Must have been some bad information..."
The man breathed a sigh of relief and slumped to the floor. "Thanks a lot, pal. Now I'll be lucky if I'm not fired."
Spike lit up a cigarette. "What do I care?," he replied, his voice riddled with irritation. "If you hadn't ran in the first place, we wouldn't be in this mess."
His eyes went wide. "Maybe if you hadn't turned a gun on me-"
From nowhere, a clenched fist caught Spike across the cheek, sending his cigarette out of his lips and him to the ground.
He looked up and saw the redheaded elf standing over him and fuming, her one eyebrow visibly twitching, her fists balled. "If that is all, you can go now!" she blurted out.
Spike blinked in surprise.
"And there is no smoking IN THIS MALL, SIR!" she screamed.
Spike gazed at bewildered for a moment, speechless. He shrugged. "Yes, ma'am..." With that, he got up and left in a hurry.