"Ring, Ring, click"
An attempt at Harry Potter fiction by Two cents
A/N: This is senseless, nonsensical and all in the name of fun. All flames will be laughed at, possibly agreed with and then used to toast marshmallows.
Disclaimer: I don't own squat. JKR owns everything.
~*~
*Ring, ring, click*
"Too sleepy to say something clever. Better be important or I'll kill you. Do you know it's 2 in the morning? Couldn't you have owled?"
"Er…I'm really sorry. I lost track of time after uh…dinner. Um…say I was hypothetically thinking of *someone* in a strictly non-platonic way---"
"He likes chocolate. Light colours. Silky and clingy stuff. Long, brown hair and brown eyes. Both of which you, coincidentally enough, happen to have. Have I covered everything? Can I go sleep now?"
"Wait, how do you know all this stuff?"
"Guys talk. And leer. Or do both over beer."
"You don't sound very surprised that I---uh."
"That I know you're in love with him? (yawn) Would totally kill to get into his bed? Currently boiling over with new found passion? I state the obvious, cos' I get that from him too."
"You mean he talks about me? In *that* light? And I am… most definitely not boiling over with new found passion!"
"Sure you are. I even know you're blushing up a storm right now. Wear something silky, soft, clingy. Better still, wear chocolate body paint and ambush him. He'd have to be gay to resist you. And he's definitely not. Trust your best friend on this one. Can I go sleep now?"
"Chocolate WHAT?"
"Body paint. It's insanely popular. Best to, (yawn) order in advance from Honeydukes. I repeat, can I go back to sleep now?"
"Uh, yeah. Sleep well Harry, and thanks. I think."
"No problem. (yawn) Go get him, Herm."
*click*
-fin.
A/N: And yes, the reference to chocolate body paint was made in honor of the Good Ship. (A ship that I've been lurking on for several months now. *slides back into ninja-stealth mode*)
Written for my cousin Shu, who demanded a quote "waffy, prize-winning, novel-length blah blah blah Harry Potter fic" for her birthday. Sorry, girl. I guess you'll have to settle with this. Anyway, it's hard to kill a person when you're half a continent away. HA! :p