Edmund hadn't always admired all of his siblings. Susan was too shallow, Lucy too naive but Peter... He had always looked up to Peter, even in Finchley. He had alwyas been the golden boy and, envy aside, Edmund admired him for it. After their father had left for the war and they were sent to the country it was Peter who brought upon himself the task of keeping them a family. He overlooked all of his brothers faults and was always there when said brother needed him. Never mind the fact he would be thanked for such action with kiking and scrathing and welling.
Even when they had come to Narnia that attitude had not changed. Edmund had lied to all of them, and betrayed them for Turkish Delight. Yet still, all it was needed was an heartfelt apology for his brother to embrace him like nothing had happended. Peter had forgiven him far too easily, and when they were all crowned ( Edmund still tought it was an rubbish idea to put an traitor in the throne, but even him was not silly enought to contradict the will of Aslan), Peter was the one who lived up to his title. The others tried their best, but it wasn't rather Valiant of Lucy to run to her brothers room every rain, nor too Gentle of Susan to yell at them everytime one stole her make-up (It was put to good use, Su!)¹ and even if he wanted to, it was impossible for Edmund to be fair to all on some affairs. Not Peter, though. Peter was always as magnificent as on the day of his coronation. He was always as grand on dealing with forein diplomates or Mrs. Beaver.
Their time in England after Narnia had, of course, been a nightmare. Neither of them was prepared to become just children after ruling over so many for so long, but Lucy and Susan had faith they'd be back home soon and Edmund...Edmund believed his brother. He knew that, though he might not show it as often, Peter was just as magnificent here as he had been in Narnia. How couldn't he? Magnificence was far more needed in this world than in any other.
His faith had not faltered when they had re-entered Narnia and Peter seemed so eager to jump at any battle, so lost he would not believe Lucy, when she had known better all along. Peter was his big brother, his High-King. He must have known something the others did not.
It was when Peter had fallen under the false promises of Jadis that Edmund realised it was not the case. For when the witch had killed him, Peter had swore to get back at her. For when She had rulled their land for a thousand years Peter was ready to dethrone her. But he had never been given the chance to join her. Edmund wondered if it was why Peter had been so eager to forgive him, for he would have done the same. He wondered if it had been fair for him to rule under Peter when he had learnt his lesson and Peter had not, when he had kept his faith and Peter had not. If so, than his whole life had been nothing but a lie. All the laughs and beliefs had been shared with a stranger rather than his brother.
And that was when Edmund understood. His brother was human. He had flaws. And, at the end od the day, he was nothing but like him. Too much like him.
He was later thanked for breaking the ice when he did. He was congratulated for his action in battle. He was pitied for having to watch his brother nearly get himself for fighting Miraz. But none of it had affected him much, for the same actions that had lead him to break the ice had also shattered his world.
¹I was rewatching "Dawson's Creek" on TV last night. Long story short: The adversary football time was trying to get to the Quarterback. All of the time put on make up, in order to hide who was who. I wondered if it could ever be used in a battle, to protect the king(s). And yes, I often have random thoughts.
N/A: Too full of mushy stuff? Too boring? Acctually readable? Please, leave a comment, I promise your hand won't fall of!
Love,
Tati Skywalker