since ffn doesn't like strikethroughs in fics, they are represented by parenthesizes
for hogwarts: writing club [sophie's shelf; showtime - sincerely, me; count your buttons - percy, money; character appreciation - mother; liza's loves]; sticker challenge [quill]; tea challenge [wakey wakey]; insane house comp [only letter]
340 words by google docs
Dear Mother,
I don't know what to say.
It's funny. Fred and George would tease me about it.
But after years of voicing my opinion, of writing countless essays, of speaking up for what I believe in, I don't know what to say.
(I've missed you guys so much.)
I still care about you, Mum. I still care about you, and Dad, and Ginny, and Ron, and Fred and George, and Charlie, and Bill, and I care so much it hurts. (I care even though I didn't care at times.)
(I hated our family a lot.)
I resented our family a lot. I resented the fact that we never had money, that we never had the best thing, that we had nothing to share but so many to share with. I would take all of that back if I could take back the rest of it with it. I would take back every single thing I hated if it meant that I could hug you one more time, or play with Ginny again, or even be the subject of one of Fred and George's pranks. (Don't tell them I said that.)
I'm sorry, I guess that's what I'm saying.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
(Is this what my only sacrifice is? My pride? Will I ever be better than this?)
I'm sorry for every time I pushed you away, and every time I didn't care that you loved me. I'm sorry that I didn't care more, even for a second.
Nothing I say can make up for anything I've done. (That's what I'm the most sorry about.)
I don't know whether I'll send this to you, Mum. (After all this time, I'm still a coward.) I'd like to think that you know me well enough that you know that I mean all of this, deep down.
You always seemed to know me the best.
I'm sorry for not realising that earlier, and I'm sorry for hurting you, Mum.
All the love (I never gave you before) in the world,
Percy