The Course of a Pirate's Dream
Ch. 1: Disappearing Act
Shay awoke with a start from yet another dreamless sleep. It was storming out; thunder boomed, and lightning flashed across the sky. It wasn't the storm that had awakened her though. She had been waking up in the middle of the night with no logical explanation for as long as she could remember. She never questioned it; simply accepted. To her it was rather comforting, like a secret some divine being had let her and only her in on. They had let her in on a little secret called the night. You see, unlike insomniacs who woke up in the middle of the night and tried futilely to get back to sleep, Shay embraced the night and the darkness with only the moon and stars for light. She would sometimes creep around the house, taking in how different something so familiar could seem in the dark. One thing Shay loved to do on the warm nights during the summer was to sit out on the deck, look at the stars, listen to the soft music of the crickets and cicadas, and inhale that sweet, cool, summer night air.
As an earsplitting roar of thunder shattered Shay's few precious moments of silence, she was torn from her pleasant reverie. She loved how beautifully deadly lightning looked as it ripped through the sky, but thunder up close often frightened her.
"I'm scared." She whispered to no one in particular, as if saying it out loud made it seem that someone somewhere was listening, that someone cared. It was a lonely feeling, to be so close to people and remain uncomforted because they were in a peaceful slumber.
"Lucky Jackasses." Shay thought to herself. Normally she loved her nightly adventures but tonight, because of the storm, she couldn't go outside. Nor could she fall asleep.
Shay was do deep in thought and self pity that for a while, she didn't even notice her stomach growling. Finally realizing just how famished she was, Shay crept downstairs being careful to skip the creaky steps and floorboard that had taken her and entire year of practice and memorization for her to master. She was now an expert at stealth; in the dark at least.
As Shay entered the kitchen she flicked on the light switch, being sure to choose the right one out of the pair on the wall. One would illuminate the kitchen: Good. The other would illuminate the staircase and possibly wake up the house's sleeping occupants: Bad! Along with the creaky floorboards, which light switches lit up which rooms or hallways were also among the things Shay had forced herself to memorize.
Finally reaching her destination, Shay began rummaging through the cabinet mentally rating each item she saw until she found the best one. She settled on a nutragrain bar. It was small, but enough to satisfy Shay's stomach until she finally went to bed.
As Shay thoughtfully chewed her little midnight snack, she began to fantasize about her newfound obsession, "Pirates of the Caribbean." It was her new favorite movie. Shay had gone through four of those. She'd never forget any of them especially the first: Spider-man. For the longest time, almost two years, she'd had the hugest of crushes on Tobey Maguire. She still adored him but now, she saw him more as a big brother than a love interest. The real love of her life was an extremely handsome young man named Jack Kelly. He was from a movie called "Newsies." Newsies was a Disney musical from the 90's about the newsboy strike of 1899. In this musical, hundreds of hot, sexy, built, teenaged boys sang, danced, and did pelvic thrusts. It was every teenaged girl's dream!
"I swear!" Shay used to exclaim. "Ask any girl over 16 if they've seen 'Newsies' and they'll say 'hell yeah' and smile dreamily." Those were the good 'ole days, but she moved on from that obsession as well. Her next was with X-men! Oh how she LOVED X-men! Especially Logan or Wolverine as he was also called. There was just something about him… his hair, or that animalistic glint in his eye that drove her wild. As much as that made Shay's feelings toward Logan like those of a crush, she really just looked up to him as a father figure, the same way she did her latest obsession: Jack Sparrow. She smiled as she imagined him correcting her.
"CAPTAIN!" He would say, clearly annoyed as he rolled his eyes. "CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow!"
Shay sighed glumly. What was the point of indulging yourself in fantasies when you knew they could never come true? She'd never meet Logan, she'd never meet Jack Kelly, she would probably never meet Tobey although he was the most within reach, and she most certainly would never meet her swashbuckling pirate hero, Jack Sparrow. Her fantasies only brought her pain. The pain was not quite physical, but… not quite mental either. Shay would usually be watching television or listening to a soundtrack when all of a sudden; it was as if a tidal wave of emotion was pounding down on her. She would remember how much she longed to be free of this terrible prison called reality, free of the laws of physics, free of all the bloody rules! She would then begin feeling so trapped and so suffocated by her need to be inside her own fantasies that she often found it hard to breath. Then, came the hyperventilation, bringing her near to tears with an emptiness and grief she wasn't sure anyone else in the universe let alone the whole fucking planet, besides her, would be able to comprehend. The feelings she experienced during the few seconds of her breakdown were so intense that they scared her shitless! Sensing that one of these breakdowns was probably on their way, Shay decided to go splash some water on her face.
Shay entered the bathroom and looked into the mirror. Looking back at her she saw a thirteen year-old girl, though she looked older, with hollow eyes and a mass of dark brown hair cascading in curls down to her shoulders. Everything about the girl was dark. Her eyes were a chocolate brown, her hair was brown, her skin was tanned and weathered, and her face looked almost skull like due to her slightly sunken cheeks and the eerie shadows being cast across her face by the candles in the bathroom. Her hair was wild and the only thing keeping her dark curls in place was a red bandana tied at her hairline worn in the same style Jack Sparrow wore his. Three hair wraps hung down from her scalp; two on the left side of her head, and one on the right. The first one on the left side of her head was all fall colors: orange, light-brown, and yellow. Two beads were tied on at the end. The first was a blue, cylindrical, clay bead and the other was a coin. The hair wrap behind that was more foreign and oriental looking for the three colors being used were red, black, and gold. At the end of that hair wrap was an intricately designed dream catcher bead. It looked like a metal spider web with a turquoise bead in the center and a metal feather hanging down from the bottom. The third hair wrap had the most colors and none of them in the least bit coordinated. Because of this however, it looked good. Purple, brown, sky blue, and yellow were woven together in numerous patters until the end of the wrap which was finished off by a football-shaped, purple, clay bead and then an ank. (Look it up people! Do I have to explain everything?)
On the girls right bicep was a temporary tattoo. It was of moons and suns flowing together and being intertwined by the tails of comets. She also had tattoos on her hands but they weren't normal tattoos. They were called henna. (Once again people, LOOK IT UP! That's why we have www.dictionary.com !) She had two of them, one on each palm. Both tattoos were reddish colored geometric designs inside of a circle. The last tattoo was on the lower right-hand side of her stomach. It was temporary like the first but it was of a different design. It was of blue flames, which represented cold fire. Her eyes continued down until they came to the girl's wrists. On one wrist were at least a dozen silver bangles along with a bracelet of pink tiger's eye beads. On the other wrist were two hair-ties, on red and one yellow, and a bracelet of coin charms.
She really didn't know why she'd decorated herself in this particular way. She'd come to two conclusions. #1- She was just plain crazy, and had been ever since she'd turned 11. # 2- Pirates often had tattoos and lots of jewelry. Her mother used to call her a "RISD chick" after the art college in their lovely state of Rhode Island. But her mother didn't call her that anymore…she couldn't. Rebecca, Shay's mother, was dead and had been for two years now. She died in a car crash when Shay was only eleven. The only thing Shay had left to remember Rebecca by was the charm that hung from a chain around Shay's neck. It rested next to a fairy charm that reminded Shay of her beloved X-Man Logan (Do not ask why). The charm was of a heart surrounded by a metal lace pattern. Inscribed in the middle of the heart was the only thing she'd ever know of her father, his name… Jack. She supposed that was why she'd grown so excited when she'd seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Her favorite character had her father's name.
Oftentimes, however, she wasn't sure if she should grieve over her father, or be angry at him for leaving. Her mother never told her why her father wasn't there to put her to bed each night, or see her off to school, or watch his daughter grow up, but the few times she did talk about him, mostly when Shay was only in preschool, she had never spoken unkindly of him. For this reason, Shay was never sure if her father had left them, or if he was dead.
But her mother used to tell stories, beautiful stories about her father and how he had saved Rebecca's life and then sailed off with her on his ship to have a wonderful life of adventure. Every night, Shay's mother would have a new adventure about her life with Jack ready for the telling and Shay never ceased to love them. Whenever Rebecca spun her web of tales for Shay, Rebecca's eyes would grow wide and sometimes even mist over, as though she believed every word she was saying and was remembering in her mind's eye exactly what it was like. She would act out every little detail often making Shay laugh and sometimes cry when Jack almost died. In fact Rebecca and Shay had cried together the night Rebecca told Shay that part of the story. And there were times after that that Shay would catch her mother watching her out of the corner of her eye and then Rebecca's hollow green eyes would fill to the brim with tears. It was then that Shay had realized without a doubt which parent she resembled most.
After splashing her face, Shay blew out all of the candles.
"Too many candles." She sighed.
Shay lived in a group home. A group home was basically graduation from an orphanage. Four or more teenagers would live together in one house. A social worker would come to check on you every day and as long as you weren't getting into trouble, you were allowed to stay there.
One of the boys in the group home, Harry, was kind of a hippie. He had incense and candles everywhere. He was a vegetarian and was completely into nature. He was basically an outcast even within the group home, but Shay thought he was wonderful! They would go on hikes together and chat for hours about nothing at all. He was one of the only ones who really understood her, or even cared. He had light brown hair, pretty green eyes, and handsome features. Not to mention he was fourteen and already six feet tall! Despite this, Shay thought of Harry only as a good friend, and Harry felt the same way about Shay. He had a girlfriend anyway!
Shay continued up to her room. Once there she started packing a bag. She packed normal stuff; a walkman, a bunch of C.D.s, lots of books, a picture of Jack Sparrow, a picture of Logan, a picture of Tobey, a picture of Jack Kelly, clothes for the next day, a flashlight, a few snacks, her favorite stuffed animal (What? You got a problem with that?), a brush, a tooth-brush, some tooth-paste, some make-up, and some pads (You know "PADS"). She was sick of sitting around inside. The storm out side was calling her name, almost taunting her. There was a war raging outside and she was missing all the action!
For the second time that evening, Shay found herself creeping down the stairs. She proceeded through the kitchen and out the sliding doors into the pouring rain, duffel bag in hand. She raced across the back yard to the fort that she and Harry had built in the woods.
It was a noble little shack. Harry and Shay had built it with their bear hands. They had set up everything by themselves. There were two beds, a little nightstand, and an alarm clock. They had wanted to do more, but they lacked one very important thing… MONEY. After they built the fort, they'd been broke for quite a while.
Shay sat down on her bed. She reached into her bag and withdrew her teddy bear, (WHAT?!) and turned out the lights.
It was a habit for Shay to reach up and grab her heart charm but tonight, she wanted to withdraw her hand. The metal was burning hot and painful to touch! She tried to let go but oddly, she found that she couldn't. Suddenly, Shay's world flashed white, and then there was only darkness.