Series: Trek Pod

Title: Wonderful

Inspired by: by Everclear

Lyric excerpt:

Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now

Summary: A mother and son story. Five times Winona Kirk told James everything was great/wonderful when it really wasn't and the one time it was true.

Rated: T for breastfeeding, nudity, domestic violence, language, and sexual situations of multiple orientations

This story could go up to M during the chapter that covers domestic violence because of the sensitivity of the subject matter.

Special note: There will be slash elements in this story eventually. I think it's impossible for me to write without there being K/S undertones but we won't get there for a while.

Thank you to Teddy Bear for reviewing this. All remaining mistakes are mine or the voice recognition software's.

I do not own Star Trek.

Chapter Warning: breastfeeding

Part one: Happy birthday

Her body hurt in places that should not under any circumstances. Winona didn't remember childbirth being this painful the first time around. Then again, the first time she was highly medicated and her husband was there to hold her hand. She didn't have to give birth 10 weeks prematurely with just the medical staff in an escape pod as she watched her husband die.

Now he would never hold her hand again or their son. George was gone. The man she loved more than anything else in the universe was no longer with her and she was left with just the screaming cries of the baby with his father's eyes. She felt so alone and broken inside that she didn't know how to react.

Now she was in the Medical Bay of the Mandela, the ship that came to the rescue too late. They came too late to save her husband, but just in time to save one of the few pieces she had left of him. James was in the next room receiving various medications to strengthen his lungs and immune system. Her child was taken out of her hands the moment their escape pod was intercepted. James should not have survived the premature delivery at a mere 1.7 Kilos and his lungs only half developed in an environment without the Medical Equipment for a preemie. Thanks to modern medicine, he would be fine. He was a fighter, just like his father, Winona thought to herself as one tear rolled down her cheek.

She was mostly left to herself in this tiny room except for the occasional visit of the chief medical officer to update on her son's progress and the overly cherry nurse that doesn't realize that Winona just lost her husband mere hours ago and despises happy. The medical staff from the Kelvin were too busy most likely filling out the incident reports to visit. The captain came down to see her and to express her condolences but that was it. She wished others would come by, then maybe she wouldn't have to think about the fact that she was going to raise the baby in the other room alone.

All she had was her thoughts and her son screams to keep her occupied. She should be happy because his screaming meant that his lungs were getting stronger. The crying and screaming meant that he was going to be okay. Everything would be okay again she told herself on the verge of tears.

"It looks like baby J's lungs are getting better and he wants to see mommy." The overly cheerful nurse said as she placed the baby in her arms again. Winona felt overwhelmed by the mere fact of seeing her now gone husband's eyes staring back at her. They should have been brown like hers and her first son, but for reasons unknown, that didn't happen. Instead she was haunted by George's eyes.

"Don't call him that. His name is James. His father gave him that name." Winona said fighting back tears. She would not cry in front of this woman. She would not cry at all.

"Sorry." The nurse said but Winona doubted she cared. "Now that James is stronger and can be outside of the sterile environment for a little bit, Dr. Madison wants you to try breast feeding the old fashioned way instead of using the pump. Those natural antibodies are still what are best for him. Also decades of research has shown that touches very beneficial for premature babies. Do you need any help with your gown?" The nurse asked.

"No. Although, if you could give me a little privacy that would be good." Winona said, suddenly hinting that she wanted the nurse to leave. Unfortunately, the woman did not get it.

"Would you like a shawl?" The nurse asked even cheerier than before.

"No, I do not want a shawl." Winona almost screamed. "I want to be alone with my child. I just watched my husband die the day before and I can't deal with you being all happy." At that moment, James started screaming again. Winona would like to think that he was agreeing with her for the too happy nurse to go away.

"That's okay. If you need me I will be in the next room." Nurse sunshine said as she slowly backed out of the room.

Winona started gently rocking James with one hand as she struggled out of her gown. After a few unsuccessful moments, she wondered if she should have taken the nurses assistance before kicking her out. Finally, after a few more moments of struggle, she succeeded in lowering her gown and James tentatively latched onto one nipple.

"That's it. Finally, something is going the way it should. You need to drink if you're going to be strong like your daddy is—I mean like your daddy was. " She said to the baby as a few tears ran down her cheeks.

"Everything is going to be great from now on. We'll be home soon. You will like your nursery. Your daddy painted the room yellow the day before we left. There's also a big starship painted on the wall now. Your big Brother Sam helped. That's why it looks a little weird. It's just the three of us now. That's okay. Everything is okay. Everything will be wonderful once we get back to Earth." Winona said with a watery smile before she completely broke down.

A/N: Let me know what you think.