I talked my parents into writing down a bunch of random words that could inspire little ficlets. The words they provided me were less than inspiring, and a little repetitive. And, to be frank, some of them are quite rude. Didn't think my parent's had that in them. Oh well, where's the fun without a little challenge? I'll try to do all 76.

This will probably end up being Phinerb, but probably a little Bujeet in there too. Any romance will be completely slash. I despise writing het, unless its to make fun of it.

Xoxoxo

Perfume

Buford liked his apartment the way it was. Dirty clothes strewn across the floor, magazines piled up in a half-assed attempt at order, dishes unwashed in the sink. It suited him just fine.

He liked his relationship with a certain nerd the way it was. Baljeet was no longer afraid of him, his bullying reduced to light teasing, cautious flirting but nothing coming from it. He didn't want that to change. He hated being tied down.

'Change,' he thought miserably. 'Is unavoidable.'

And so it was. After a little too much to drink, he'd crossed the line. He'd woken up with Baljeet in his arms in the early hours of the morning with no memory of how he'd gotten there. His head hurt, so he went back to sleep.

And the next time he awoke, his bed was empty. He sat up and looked around, and his eyes widened in horror. His room was pristine. That goddamn nerd had actually had the gall to clean his apartment. Buford pulled on a pair of boxers and wandered into the kitchen, where the dark-skinned man was cooking something. The smell of it clashed with something else, and he wrinkled his nose as he stepped closer. 'Is that perfume?'

'What is wrong with perfume?' Baljeet asked, smiling over his shoulder at him. 'You needed a bit of change.'

And watching him, Buford murmured, 'maybe I do.'

Xoxoxo

Cats

Ferb had always been a cat person. He'd never been fond of dogs, having been bitten once when he was very young. Cats, however, reminded him of himself. They were independent, never barking incessantly and content to curl up in front of a fire after a long day of lying in the sun.

Ferb had always been a Phineas person. The smaller child had been like a bright ray of sunshine in his quiet, dreary life. He never smiled, hardly talked since his mother died. Phineas drew him out of his shell. He gained a brother, and a friend.

But when the time came for their little family to get a pet, neither of them could agree on what to get. Phineas was determined to get a dog. Ferb was just as determined to get a cat. The tiny children had their first ever spat, and while Ferb was perfectly content to sulk, Phineas could never stay mad for long. 'We'll compromise,' he said, smiling widely. 'We'll get the platypus.'

Ferb never really understood how a platypus was a compromise, but he was a Phineas person, and as long as he had his younger brother, he didn't need a cat. Phineas was all he needed.

Xoxoxo

Colours

'Why can we not just tell them, Buford?' Baljeet sighed, burying his face into the pillow. The larger boy lay beside him, and kept silent. When Baljeet lifted his head and peeked over at him, he saw the sheets had slid down so Buford's chest was bare to the cold room, and he sighed again, pulling the blankets over them both. 'Is it because you are ashamed of me? I mean, I know I am not that special, but-'

'Don't ever think that,' Buford snapped, rolling over to face him. 'I could never be ashamed of you.'

'Then tell me why you will not tell your parents we are dating!' Baljeet lay on his back, frustrated. This was not how it was supposed to go. They were supposed to be basking in the post-sex glow, not arguing. Buford refused to answer yet again. 'Is it because your parents do not like me?'

Again, no response, but just the slightest intake of breath. Bingo. 'That is it, is it not? They do not like me. Is it because I am not into sports, like you are? Or because I am too small, or-'

'It's because of your skin colour, okay!' Buford took the smaller boy's hand, meshing their fingers together. For the first time, Baljeet studied the difference in their colouring closely. His heart sunk. 'My parents aren't all that supportive of us even spending time together because they're both racist fucks,' Buford explained gruffly.

'I see.'

'I'm sorry.'

'It is okay.' But it wasn't, and it never would be.

Xoxoxo

Arse

Ferb remembered the first time he ever saw Phineas as anything other than a brother. They had been building some kind of machine, the details were a little hazy, and he'd walked into the garage to find Phineas bent over one of the large boxes, trying to reach something right at the bottom. Ferb had frozen, his eyes glued to his younger brother's arse. Looking at the boy's tight pants made his own feel rather tight as well, and he'd hurried out before Phineas even realized he was there.

It was that red-head's damn arse that started it all, and years later, he'd still walk in on his step-brother bent over random things, and Ferb swore the guy was doing it on purpose. When he was younger he'd run from the room. This time, he'd walk forward, press his hips into that lovely arse and lean over to whisper in Phineas' ear something dirty.

He'd laugh as Phineas stiffened, and then straighten. But when he would try to turn around, Ferb held him in place, determined not to be parted from one of his favourite parts of his boyfriend. 'Ferb,' Phineas would whine, trying to wriggle away. 'For God's sake, someone will see us.'

'Let them,' Ferb would mutter, lowering his head and pressing a soft kiss to the red-head's throat. 'It's your fault for bending over.'

And Phineas would laugh, and everything would be perfect.

Xoxoxo

Toenail

Buford hated singing. He felt as if it bared his soul to the audience, and that was just not manly. No way. No how. Of course, he couldn't really expect to be manly when he was dating another guy. A tiny, nerdy guy, for that matter. But Buford was the kind of guy who never got too involved, never revealed his real self, and Baljeet had apparently gotten sick of it.

'I want to know you, Buford,' he'd scowled. 'Not this tough guy mask you wear.'

And despite his hatred of singing, he knew it was the only way to please Baljeet, and he was willing to do it. But only for Baljeet. And only once.

He picked an appropriate song, and when he'd plucked up the courage, he sang it while they were hanging out in his bedroom one day. He played his guitar along with it, and when he'd finished, Baljeet was blushing, and smiling too. He went over and sat on Buford's lap, and the larger boy buried his face in Baljeet's neck.

'When the moon looks like a toenail?' Baljeet giggled. 'Really?'

'Shut up,' Buford grunted, but he was smiling a little, too.

Xoxoxo

For anyone who's interested, the song he sang was Introducing Me, by Nick Jonas. It's my all time favourite song right now. Funnily enough, I found it through another PAF slash fic.