Christian is Sorry, a wrestling fanfic

Songfic to BuckCherrys Sorry, a request fic for Super T. Hope you enjoy it hunn and anyone elase who cares to read it. Review pretty please? :)

I wasn't really sure how I was sleeping at night at all anymore, it seemed she consumed my every waking moment and now apparent by the dream I was just having she was there when I slept to. Words couldn't describe how I missed her, or how I wished I could make up for all the shitty things I said and did to her.

Beating the pillow and flipping it over I laid my head back down to try and sleep again, but it was no use I knew very well that I wouldn't be able to go back to dreamland now. Shifting my weight on my side I rolled over and opened the drawer in my bedside table. Inside was her picture and a half written letter that it feels like I started forever ago.

The chicken scratches told a story, a story of how I left the wwe to get as far away from our past as possible and now that she was away from it to and I was working for the rival company I couldn't seem to shake her from my thoughts. I picked up a pen and placed it between my teeth, searching for another sentence to add the eclectic letter, it was a good day in my book if I manage to write one word on that paper and amazing if a whole sentence flowed out of me. Staring at her picture for inspiration I put the pen to the paper once more…trying to make the words come out the way I wanted them to.

Oh I had alot to say
Was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.

Morning came and went but I still couldn't get the image of her tear stained face as she walked out the door out of my mind. So on a grey Tuesday afternoon I picked up the phone to call her. I wasn't really sure what I was going to stay but I prayed that the words would come.

Trish picks up the phone quickly but instead of a cheerful hello she screams at me through the receiver. "What Christian? What the fuck do you want from me?"

I didn't blame her for yelling at me or for getting caller id, which I guess she got after getting sick of someone constantly calling and hanging up on her. I'm sure she'd pieced together by now that it was me.

Not having the heart to say anything more to make her pretty smile become a frown I put down the telephone. I didn't matter how sorry I was I had fucked things up so bad and so long ago that I had no right to expect her forgiveness. Even if I had changed, I really wasn't the person that I was then and I'm ashamed to know the man that I once was.

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

I don't want it to seem like we were always bad, because then why would I ever want to go back to that place? No, when we were good we were good and I mean real good. If I closed my eyes now I could still feel the back of my hand caress the inside of her thigh and the way she would shutter beneath me. Times like those when the daylight had just broken or when it hurt I was smiling so hard, were the way I wished things always were between us. But unfortunately that wasn't the case and as you can judge by the phone call that's the only way she remembers it.

Trish pov

Why did he have to call? Every time that I thought I was getting over that man he found a way just to pop back into my life, weather it be on a television set or now through a simple phone call. Maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to hang up on him but I didn't think I could handle again, hearing him breath on the other end.

I opened the book that had the Polaroid inside, a photograph that I kept promising myself that I would throw away or burn but I couldn't do it, I didn't have the heart. A smile snuck up on me as I glanced at the photo of the two of us, Christian with his arms around my neck and me smiling as he planted a kiss on my cheek. The small picture summed up how I always felt for him but it refused to highlight the dark side that he had. I threw it on the floor in frustration, why lord did times have to be like this? How could you love and hate somebody so much at the same time, it didn't make any sense.

Sometimes I blamed myself for what went wrong between us, maybe I could have changed him if I'd stayed. In a way I felt I'd failed myself when I walked out that door because Trish Stratus sure as hell wasn't a quitter and that's how I felt that day. But I was forced to let that go, and I put everything I had into my work, thankful to have it in my life. Since I left wwe though the only thing I was thankful for, as of late, was the fact that he was in Orlando and I was far enough away in Toronto.

This time I think I'm to blame
It's harder to get through the days
We get older and blame turns to shame
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.

Christian pov

I ran my hand back over my head, what exactly was I doing here outside her house? The coward in me wanted to leave but my heart wouldn't let my feet off the ground to do so. Just when I thought I had the strength to turn tail and walk away, the door flung open and she was standing there, keys in hand…stunned.

"Hello..." Was all I could say to her.

Confusion was spread across her pretty face, a face that my picture couldn't do any justice. She was gorgeous even more then I had remembered.

"You look good."

"Christian what are you doing here?" She asked tucking her blonde locks out of her face. A face that I wished was smiling.

"TNA was in town doing a show and I went to visit my family, so I thought that maybe…" I stammered.

"That you would come here and everything would be honky dory?"

"No…I…"

"I'm not your family anymore Christian, I never really was...Now please, I can't handle seeing you, so if you'd kindly leave my property..." She said laying her perfectly manicured hands on her lovely hips.

"Please let me apologize for that night…for everything." Everything that I had ever done to her.

I watched tears form in her eyes before they pored down her face. All I wanted was to rush to her and hold her kiss her and try and make everything better. As I moved closer she stuck out her hand signalling to me that she didn't want me anywhere near her.

"That night…" She started. "Was the night that my world came crashing down around me. I haven't seen you since then and there's a reason for that. You hurt me, all I wanted was a family with you and if maybe you could have loved me like I loved you…"

"I did love you, I do love you…"

"Don't." She said cutting me off mid sentence. "You had your chance to prove it to me then."

My mind wandered back to that night and how I would give anything to change how everything happened. The night may have been blurry but I'll never forget it.

Flashback: Trish walked in the door with her gym bag in hand. She smiled at me and set it down to sit beside me on the sofa.

"I missed you." She says quietly as she runs her hand over my neck and behind my ear.

I shake her off and turn my attention back to the television set that was playing the previous weeks Raw. She sat next to me in silence and watched her latest title defence. She won the match and she paraded around celebrating in the middle of the ring with Tomko.

"How long have you been fucking him?" I asked her out of the blue.

"Excuse me?" She asks.

"You heard me, I'm sitting at home and here you are fucking around behind my back."

"Christian what are you talking about? Tomko and I are just two co-workers in a storyline…"

"We're a storyline does that not make us real? I see the way he looks at you and you look at him."

"That's ridiculous." She says folding her arms across her chest.

"Almost as ridiculous as me thinking you were faithful to me, how many other guys on the roster are you fucking?" I don't know now if I believed what I was saying to her of if I just needed to pick a fight with someone and there she was my own emotional punching bag.

The tears rolled down her cheeks and she stared at me in disbelief. At the time I had no problem watching her cry and now I would give anything to roll back those tears and the clock to change things.

"Chris I can't believe you would say these things to me."

I shrug and change the channel as I pop the cap on another beer. She grabs the empty one and hurls it at the nearest wall.

"This shit is your problem!" She screamed. "You expect Vince to give a shit about you? Give you good storylines and title shots when all you do is drink yourself stupid? Maybe if you'd sober up you'd have a little more work and maybe just maybe if you loved me as much as you love that bottle in your hand I wouldn't be leaving you either."

"Go," I told her. "Its not like I care what a slut like you does anyway." End of flashback.

And with that she left, she walked out of my life in tears just like she was now. My drinking was the start of our problems (that incident not being the first one) and the cause of the end of our relationship. It's easy to see now that I'm sober that I had a huge problem. If only I'd realised it sooner…

Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried
It's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah sorry

I could tell that she had been reliving that night too. "I really am sorry." I said to her softly. "And if it means anything you I'm cleaned up."

"I'm happy for you, I really am." Trish said sincerely.

"I wrote you a letter, I started it at the beginning of AA, its one of the steps ya know? To right your wrongs to those you hurt with you're drinking. But I couldn't make it work so…" I proceeded to pull the letter out of my jacket pocket and rip into a thousand tiny pieces. "…I came here instead. Listen I know I can't take back or change what happened but if I could I would, in a heartbeat."

"Thank you." She mouthed. "But I really should be going, I have a yoga class to get to." She brushed past me and I grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face me.

"I can't get you off my mind." I blurted. "No matter how hard I try to get over you I can't, I'm in love with you. Please can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

"Why do you have to bring this all up again? Tear these wounds back open? I hate you! I hate you!" She screamed pounded her fists violently against my chest.

I held her wrists and pulled her into me, holding her soft hair in my hands and her head to my beating chest. "So why do I still love you?" Trish asked me, staring into my blue eyes with her tear filled hazel ones.

"It's ok…" I told her. "I can't possibly expect you to forget all that."

She pulled back looked me dead in my eyes again before she spoke. "Your right I cant forget…"

My heart sank.

"But it was so long ago and no matter how much it still hurts and I didn't want to admit it, I forgave you along time ago…."

I smiled at her, something I hadn't sincerely done in a long time. "I'm thankful…" I told her.

"That still doesn't change the past, or everything that happened between us."

"I understand." I said letting her go and turned away to walk back the way I had come there.

"But…" She said, stopping me with her voice. "I'd like to start over."

I turned around before I pulled her in and kissed her, I couldn't hold out any longer. The moment her lips touched mine it seemed that no time had passed at all, all the good memories flooding back. All the late nights and early mornings, every second that we had spent together and in each other's arms.