A/N : Hello everyone ! That's it! After long weeks of waiting, Chicago Fire is back on our screens! I know that opinions diverge on this season premiere, for me too, but if I focus on Dawsey it was just top! They were too cute, and what a pleasure to find them back on my screen, I have missed them. I wanted to write about their scenes in this episode, but when I thought about it, I had already talked about Gabby's difficulties in managing to almost lose her husband in the fire in « My Miracle » and I also had written about the ceremony and this super hot scene in « Undressed », so I refer you to those one-shots if you want a little more. The only thing left to me (if I may say so) is this final scene, both beautiful and moving. I will try to deepen it a little in this little one-shot, I hope you like it!
Happy reading, and at your reviews!
Gaëlle
The weeks after the factory fire that had put many of their lives at risk had not been easy, but the members of the Firehouse 51 began gradually to return to normal life, a normal rhythm. Gabby and Matt, meanwhile, were beginning to find themselves back, to reconnect with each other, especially following Ramon's departure, and hoped to take advantage of it to test a new restaurant in town, in an intimate one-on-one, just the two of them. It was important for them to go out, to devote themselves little moments, to just take time for each other.
The two spouses were preparing in their living room. Matt was sitting on the edge of their desk trying to put on his watch and talk about the famous restaurant that Otis had recommended him. Gabby, sitting on the sofa, was putting on her earrings, but did not listen. She was lost in her thoughts, as it was happening very frequently in recent weeks. She looked elsewhere, in another world. She heard her husband speak to her, but she did not listen. Instead, the same words that jostle in her head. She hears them every day, over and over again. She replays the scene in her head every day. Every single day, the emotions of that day come back to her in full face. With her eyes on the wall, she could see the flames again, she could hear her husband's words again, his goodbye that had broken everything in her: « You're my miracle, Gabby. You're my miracle. I love you. Goodbye, my love. »
« We should go before there's a line! » Matt said, getting up.
« Yeah, sounds good, » Gabby finally got her senses back.
« Have you heard from your dad? » Matt asks her.
« Yeah, he got the job. He starts on Monday, » she answers, getting up from the couch.
« See, sometimes! » Matt says playfully, before grabbing his keys and heading for the door, eager to go out and dine with his wife, but he's quickly stopped in his movements when his wife, always impulsive, finally tells what she has on the heart for weeks.
« Don't ever say goodbye to me again! » She did not understand why it had escaped her mouth now, right now, as she was preparing to go on a dinner date with the man she loved most in the world. They had constantly avoided the subject in the last two months, pretending nothing had happened, both not knowing what to say, both wanting at all costs preserve the other as they had always done. As narrow-minded as they were, they had grown used to fleeing their feelings so as not to hurt the other one, although they knew that it was not the solution for them. Communication had never been their high, even if they had earned, but when it was a matter of preserving the loved one, silences were preferable. But today it was too much, Gabby could not keep this for her one more second. Matt stopped short, surprised by what his wife had just said. She had cracked in the hospital, she had cried, she had screamed, then with time she had taken over. She was strong, she had always been, but today it was too much. They had both tried several times to approach the subject, but it was never the right time and, sometimes, the unspoken did less harm. He let out a sigh, and turned to look at his wife. Her eyes were red and shining, her lips trembled, when she said again: « Don't ever say goodbye to me again, » and his heart broke into a thousand pieces at the sight of the love of his life so vulnerable, reaching her breaking point.
He took a few steps to get closer to her, never leaving her gaze. She was stoic, she did not move, only the expressions of her face told him how sad, broken, lost she was. Once he reached her level, he contemplated her. Her large brown eyes, her luscious lips highlighted with the lipstick he had offered her, her curved dress. For nothing in the world, he would have left her alone, not in a million. « I've been meaning to say something, but… I… Just didn't know how or what… » he starts saying, with pleading eyes, hoping she'll understand why he didn't bring up the subject since this day. He grabbed her hands, gently caressed her wedding ring and engagement ring, realizing once again how lucky he was to be able to call her his wife. « Talk to me, you know you can tell me everything, baby… » he simply said, feeling that she needed to express her emotions, to get something off her chest.
« Don't you ever do anything like that ever again, » Gabby's voice was trembling.
His wife being his first priority, he quickly made the idea of not tasting the famous crab claws he dreamed of, and guided Gabby to the sofa. They sat down and Matt put his hand on Gabby's thigh. « Gabs, I'm sorry. When I was stuck in this room, with no possibility of going out, I had to talk to you, I had to tell you how much you mean to me… I had to tell you how much I love you. I had to, I needed to… I was so sure I was about to die…» Matt confided as Gabby starts breaking down hearing those words. He pressed her hard against him, before continuing: « The only thing that mattered was being able to talk to you and saying goodbye to you seemed appropriate for me in that moment, I thought it would be important for you to hear my voice one last time, if… » he could not bring himself to finish his sentence.
« All I wanted was for you to fight. I wanted you to fight to be able to get back to me. I... I felt like you were giving up, that you were abandoning me... It broke me, Matt. Your words, your farewells have broken me into a thousand pieces… You told me many times in the last few years that you loved me and you were not going anywhere, and… At this moment, it felt like you were giving up. You were giving up on me, on everything we have built together., and I can't handle that. » Gabby sobbed. « All I wanted was for you to fight, and find some way out to come back to me… » Gabby repeat again.
« I know… » Matt squeezed her hand. « I thought you'd be glad to hear how much I love you. I did what I just felt was right at that very own moment, it reassured me to be able to talk to you one last time, to tell you one last time how much I loved you… I'm sorry for having put through all of this. »
« It hurted so much, I haven't even had the strength to say it back to you, and I blame myself for it, because if… If… If you didn't make it out of the factory alive, you would never have known…» she cries.
« I know how much you love me, no need to say it, » he tried to reassure her.
« That would have meant saying goodbye to you too, I just…. Couldn't do it… and now… I'm… »
Matt straightened up in the couch, and gently put his hand on her wife's cheek before raising her face to face his, « What is it, babe? Talk to me, don't keep it all in. »
« I'm afraid… » she said, taking his hands in hers and putting them on her laps. Staring into his eyes, she opens up to him: « I'm scared; Since this day, I'm scared every time you go back into the flames, I'm terrified that the same thing happens again, I'm petrified at the idea to lose you... Until now, I thought about it, but no more than that. But … », she takes a deep breath, before continuing: « But this fire made me realize how dangerous this job is, how much you could be in my arms or kiss me, and an hour later everything could be finished. I cannot stand it, I cannot live without you. I have already lost so many people that I love, if I am still standing it's thanks to you. You are my rock, my shelter, my crazy lover, my best friend. I could not survive without you… ». Tears build in Matt's eyes as he listens to the words of his wife. He draws her quickly to him, and hands in her hair, he tightly clasped her head against his chest. Her tears gradually moistening his gray jacket, her favorite one, which he had taken care to put on to please her. Matt's heart broke for his wife as he listened to her last words: « Don't die on me. I… I need you alive…» she cries her lungs out.
« Gabby, I don't know what life holds for us. The only thing I'm sure is we will face it together, hands in hands, like we've always done. I don't know how the next fire will be as I don't know what your next emergency will be, about what kind of scenes you will be called... It's part of the job, you know it as well as I do. I would always do everything I could, but… » Matt tries to find the right words, but he's quickly interrupted by Gabby, who raises her head, and looks him straight in the eyes, both having tears in their eyes.
« I know that you'll never stop running into burning buildings any more than I'll stop putting my life on the line every time the ambo rolls out… But, just tell me, right now, that you'll always come back to me. And I'll believe you… » she said, playing with his wedding band.
He squeezed her little hands as hard as he could in his, without ever taking his glance off her, and say what she needs to hear : « I'll always come back to you, ». They looked at each other for a few minutes, knowing that it was an ephemeral promise given his job, but if his wife needed to hear it, he would repeat it to her every day for the rest of their lives. « I'll always come back to you, as i'll always love you. » New tears escaped from the brown eyes that he loved so much and that still fixed him. « Always, » he repeated before hugging her so tightly so that her broken pieces can stick back together.
A/N : I hope you have liked it. I count on you to leave me a little review. I will soon return with a story "Domestic Dawsey One-Shots Collection". Love, G.