Dior Rob Contest
Pen Name: schokischlecki
Title: Unexpected Desires
Summary: "Do you love him?" she wants to know next and again I have no clear answer. Avoiding her stare, I just shrug and think back to the few hours I spent in his presence. - A mysterious stranger and a cloud of sexual tension in an elevator is all it takes for Edward to forget the vows he once spoke…
Pairing: Edward&Bella + a little bit of Jasper
Beta: Neya0508
Rating: M
Prompts used: 25, 46, 40
Word count: (not including summary or submission header) 3054
Unexpected Desires
"You fucking bastard! How could you do this to me?"
Her voice echoes through the room and in my head and it leaves a bitter taste on my tongue.
She's right. I'm a cheating bastard and she didn't deserve to be treated that way.
And yet, I couldn't help it. I gave in to the sirens call of a stranger's body.
Tears flow down her cheeks and her beautiful face is a mask of pure terror that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I try to reach out to her, want to pull her into my arms and make her pain go away but she won't have that.
Her hand slaps mine away and I know I'd deserve far worse than that for what I've done to her.
"Why Edward? Tell me! Why?" she asks, trying to calm down.
My Bella has never been one to hold grudges but I doubt that telling her the whole story will make it any better, so I try to stop this.
"Bella… I'm sorry! I'm so fucking sorry! I never meant to hurt you!" I beg her to drop the subject without actually saying it.
"Why?" she asks again and I know she won't give in but I'm at a loss for words.
"Tell me why, Edward! I need to know!"
Slumping down on the bed, on our bed, I try to find the right words but I'm pretty damn sure there are none.
Not when you cheated on your loving wife of eight years… with another man, no less.
"I don't know…" I whisper but her small hand on my shoulder lets me find the courage to speak my mind for once.
"I've never felt like that before… I'd never even looked twice at another man before and I sure as hell never thought I'd want to kiss or touch one…"
Now it's my voice alone that fills the room and all of a sudden I can't stop talking… confessing the unimaginable sin I've committed and kept for myself way too long.
"It hit me like a ton of bricks… There he was… Jasper… and all I could think of was how his skin would feel under my touch and how his lips would taste. I thought I was going mad and… I swore to myself that this would never happen. I didn't want it to happen, Bella! I never meant to hurt you like that, I swear! You have to believe me!" I beg but I don't really know for what.
Forgiveness? Understanding?
"Will you see him again?" she inquires and I guess she's heard enough.
I don't have an answer, though…
"I guess not…" I mumble, hoping she will leave it at that but of course my Bella needs more than a vague guess from me.
"We didn't exchange numbers or addresses, so…"
Trying to ignore that awkward sense of grief, I tell her the truth.
Jasper and me… nothing could ever come from that. We're both way too involved in our separate businesses, our perfect lives, where immaculate appearances and fake smiles mean everything and people live with the fact that coming out of any kind of closet is not acceptable. For no one!
"Do you love him?" she wants to know next and again I have no clear answer.
Avoiding her stare, I just shrug and think back to the few hours I spent in his presence.
I stepped out of the crowded conference room, needing a bit of fresh air to clear my thoughts and a dose of nicotine to calm my nerves.
The air was crisp at the end of a sunny autumn day but despite being in the city that never sleeps, it smelled clean for once.
It had been two weeks since I left my home and beautiful wife behind me and the nightly phone calls simply weren't enough to keep the longing at bay.
A warm, welcoming body, softly whispered words in the night, even a friendly hug would've been more than welcome at this point, where negotiations seemed to go nowhere and my frustration had hit the limits of being bearable.
Inhaling deeply, I looked out over the rooftops of the city and the unfamiliar sight left me kind of homesick.
My attempt to call her, to just hear her voice for a few minutes, left me even more depressed. Bella wasn't home yet but I didn't leave a message because anything I might've had to say would've sounded pretty whiny, so I shoved my phone back into my pocket and took another drag of my cigarette.
A quiet voice asking for a lighter pulled me out of my personal darkness.
Looking up, I just stared at him in awe, unable to utter a single word.
His grey eyes were sparkling with amusement when he asked me to please light his cigarette. Only then did I realize, I had held it in front of his face without actually clicking it.
Embarrassment washed over me and I could feel my cheeks turn red for the first time in what? Fifteen years?
Without another word I left him behind and walked back into my personal hell, hoping once more to end this torture.
Throughout the next hours I found him staring at me from the opposite side of the room and whenever our eyes met, there was this tingling sensation all over my body that didn't make any sense…
He was a guy for heaven's sake! So why was my body reacting the way it did?
Accelerated heartbeat, tingling nerves, flushed cheeks whenever I caught him staring again…
… and a treacherous cock that wanted to bust out of my pants.
And all this from just looking at him from afar!
It got to the point where I had to put an end to this ridiculous and wicked eye-fucking game.
Too much was at risk, too many jobs at stake for me to be distracted by some handsome blond man with the most intensely staring eyes I had ever seen.
I had managed to concentrate on the task that lay before me and after another couple of hours, I finally succeeded. A compromise was found and I felt much better, knowing I'd be able to go home within the next few days.
Feeling the total exhaustion creeping up on me, I said my goodbyes and left for the hotel that had been my home for the last fifteen days.
All I wanted was a hot bath and a nice and cozy bed for the night, before I would call my Bella and listen to her soothing voice lulling me to sleep.
It had gotten late again, so the lobby was deserted and I was the only one waiting for an elevator to come down from one of the fifteen floors.
Once inside, I pressed the button for ninth floor and waited for the elevator doors to slide closed but before that could happen, an arm held them open and there he was, all intense eyes and flushed cheeks and a smile that caught me off guard.
"Hi! My name's Jasper!" he drawled in the deepest, richest, sexiest voice I had ever heard and that just made my cock twitch in my pants.
"Edward." was all I could manage at this point with those piercing grey eyes holding my attention, trying to lure me in.
Before I could understand what was going on, he pushed another button and with that… stopped the elevator.
Stalking me like some kind of predator he came closer.
Too close!
His lips slightly parted, his hot breath washed over my face and I knew immediately that I was lost.
A soft kiss later, he pulled back but it was already too late. I wanted more, needed more, so I let my instincts take over.
His cocky grin was all it took for me to forget about the world and to let loose.
"You've been trying to distract me today!" I said and his grin got even wider.
"That was a bad thing to do!" I told him before I shoved him backwards against the elevator doors.
That fucking grin disappeared but there was a strange fire in his eyes that told me it would be okay, it would be alright, if I kissed him now.
My hand gripped his neck while my fingertips grazed his chin. He licked his lips, stared at me in anticipation, waited for me to cross an invisible line, another boundary and there was no fucking way on earth I could've stopped this.
'Too late!' the words echoed in my head but I was beyond giving a shit.
His lips on mine were soft and warm but the stubble that had grown throughout the day tickled, scratched even but felt too good on my own flushed skin.
A quiet moan had me pushing him against the wall a bit more, feeling is lean, strong body against mine, not even caring about him being hard and pressed up against my own erection.
And what had started out as a staring combat, a battle throughout a crowded room full of strangers, ended up in a physical war in a tiny hotel elevator.
A heavy make-out session that bordered on assault, if it hadn't been for his greedy hands that kept pulling and groping and touching and teasing until he had me begging.
Turning us around, holding me with my back against cool stainless steel walls, he dropped down on his knees and opened my pants.
Another intense stare was shared and I knew what he was looking for. Mutual understanding. My consent. He wanted to make sure that this was alright for me, that this was what I wanted, so I swallowed all doubts and gave him a slight nod, wanting his mouth on me, wanting to feel his tongue and his teeth and his lips around me.
Way too eager, he leapt at over-heated skin, sucking and licking while bobbing his head up and down and when he took me even deeper down his throat, I knew I wouldn't last long enough to fully appreciate his skills.
An orgasm so powerful and mind-blowing washed over me and pulled me under. I felt my whole body shaking and my knees giving way, but strong arms kept me from falling, holding me close to his chest.
"I need to be alone… to think about it…" my Bella whispers and then she gets up, grabs a suitcase, blindly throwing clothes in there and all I can do is stare.
There are no words left.
When she is done with her rushed packing she walks up to me and lightly touches my shoulder.
"I'll call you!"
Her voice is reassuring and I believe her. She just needs a little time and then she will come back, won't she?
Days are passing by but I don't care. I called in sick at work and barely leave the bed. Our bed.
Memories are haunting my dreams at night and I can't shake them off.
We've always been happy in love, my Bella and I, so why did I have to ruin everything?
Why did I have to give in to Jasper?
Why couldn't I resist?
I reach the point where I give up asking myself these things because I can't seem to find an answer.
I wanted him too badly I guess…
Meanwhile my phone remains silent, no matter how often I beg it to finally ring. I even yell at it once but I don't care.
No one can hear me.
I'm alone.
Two weeks are passing without me realizing it. Days and nights are one heavy blur that nothing and no one interrupts.
Until one day the fucking phone decides to do me a favor and show Bella's name on the display.
With sweaty hands and a racing heart beat I answer, almost crying when she lets me know that she is ready to talk.
I manage to take a shower and shave my face that has grown so much fur that I look like a cave man. Then I clean up the mess that used to be our home and when Bella finally arrives it looks as good as new.
Followed by an awkward greeting and a few minutes of heavy tension and silence, Bella starts to speak and I need a moment to grasp what she is trying to tell me.
Yes, she is willing to give us and our marriage another chance but not the way it has been for the last eight years.
She wants a change of rules, an addition to the vows we spoke on our wedding day and I feel like I missed out on something, wondering what this is all about.
"Do you remember Alice?" she asks all of a sudden and I nod. Of course I remember the little pixie she used to go shopping with all the time but I don't understand why she would bring this up now. Still feeling out of the loop somehow; I keep my mouth shut and decide to just listen.
My Bella seems to have a hard time speaking her mind, so I grab her hand and squeeze it lightly to encourage her although my stomach is in knots.
"She… she kissed me…" Bella whispers and I just stare at her, trying to wrap my mind around what she is saying.
"A few months ago… it was late and I had brought her home and when I said good bye… Alice kissed me and I… kissed her back…"
Okay, now we're talking!
"It felt… strange… but in a good way… and I… I wanted more at the time, but… I told her, I was happily married and she… said she was sorry but she'd wanted to do that for months."
Bella's eyes meet mine and I think I know what her one condition will be.
"You still want her?" I ask wearily, trying to keep my emotions at bay.
I was the one who cheated on her while she did practically nothing. A single kiss and then she stopped whatever it was that Alice might've seen in her eyes in a fleeting moment.
"Yes" my wife whispers and I let out a gush of air I've been holding in for too long.
Bella wants someone else. She wants Alice. Maybe in the same way I wanted Jasper… or maybe not…
"Do you love her?" I want to know but Bella just shrugs.
"I think not… but I like her and… I've always been curious…" she finally admits and I wonder how many secrets we might have from each other, things we never told each other on purpose or simply kept to ourselves.
Nothing seems certain anymore and although I know I love her, I'm not sure I can do this.
Hypocrite!
I slept with Jasper, fucked him all night long just as I let him fuck me but I'm denying Bella her one fantasy that I can't fulfill?
That doesn't sound fair! Not even in my own jealous head.
"Can I… I need a moment alone, okay?" I ask and as soon as Bella agrees, I step out of this room, walk down the stairs and find myself in our backyard, smoking.
Every single drag of my cigarette reminds me of him, of Jasper… and how I first met him.
I remember his cocky grin, his hungry eyes that ate me alive during our conference and I remember his strong arms that held me close to him in that elevator…
If I'd meet him again… by chance… would I be able to resist?
The answer is simple… way too easy.
No! No, I wouldn't be able to let him go. I'd want him again and I know this time I'd ask for his number.
Hell, I would do it all again, just the way it was, even if I cheated on my lovely Bella because Jasper is… He's just Jasper and I'd always want him! Badly.
And Bella wants Alice… for now…
My head is reeling, thoughts swirling around, ideas popping up and I groan in frustration.
Why is this so hard?
I want Bella to be happy but I almost destroyed our marriage because I couldn't keep my dick in my pants the one time I was more than tempted…
And now she is here, offering me a second chance that's based on some kind of truce, a treaty, a contract of sorts that allows us freedom in a way we both never needed before.
And it's still my fault!
I was the one who did the first step into that direction and it cannot be undone, neither would I want this one extraordinary experience with Jasper to be erased from my memory.
I should give Bella the same chance to discover a completely different part of her sexuality that I can never be part of.
I slowly make my way back to our bedroom, where Bella still sits on the bed, waiting for me and my decision.
"I want to give you everything, because you deserve the world, Bella… but I'm scared… This… open relationship… open marriage… thing… What if it drives us further apart? I don't want to lose you! I love you, Bella! More than anything or anyone else on this planet." I finally manage to put my worries and fears into words and when I sit down next to my beautiful wife, she pulls me into a hug and whispers in my ear, that she loves me too and that she has no intention, absolutely no desire of losing me, either.
She just needs to know…
No matter how hard I fight it, I can relate to it. I understand this kind of desire and it is all Jaspers fault.
I want to blame him so badly but deep down I know that this is ridiculous.
I wanted him just as much as he wanted me!
And now my Bella wants Alice in pretty much the same way…
Nodding my head, I simply give in and agree to her conditions and when my beautiful wife kisses me for the first time since before I left our house for that fateful business trip, I feel like I'm finally home again.