[Author's Note: Welp, might as well make my own RWBY/Kamen Rider SI.]
It was an ordinary day like any other. Yes, a very ordinary, plain day. The hero of this tale… Mmm… Let's just call him… Midori… Yeah. Midori was just walking down the street when suddenly…
SKREEEEEEEEEE!
It's our old pal, Truck-kun, here to take our hero to another dimension! … No, I literally mean he's going to another world. What? You think I'm 4kids or something? You think I'm sugarcoating this bullshit? No, you look here.
SPLAT!
Midori "carelessly" wandered onto the street and got flattened by a truck. He died instantly. Life just faded away from his eyes… Fleeting, passing…
Gone…
"Legends… Stories scattered-"
Uuuh, what are you doing?
"Narrating the history of Remnant."
Yeah, I know. Why are you doing it though? Everyone knows about it by now and if not, they can just watch RWBY for free on Youtube.
"… Will you let me do my speech?"
No! How about we rip off a different anime!
"PFFFFFFT AHAHAHAHAHA! You got hit by a truck!" Laughed the blue-haired bitch with a silly ponytail. Midori looked around and wondered what he was doing in this checkerboard afterlife. "But, yeah, seriously, don't go to heaven. You can't masturbate there."
"Why would I want to?" Midori shrugged.
No! You're a pervy man, Midori! You want to get a raging stiffy and earn a harem!
"No, I don't!"
"Um, hey, Aqua, if you're not gonna take him," said a big-breasted, red haired devil woman, "I have a shit ton of pawn chess pieces to shove in his body," she then hefted a huge bag as a few pawn pieces fall from it.
"Oh, go to hell, Rias! I called dibs!" Aqua barked.
"Five million." A third party entered the fray. A robed giant whose face was covered in a red cloth. "… Wait, this is the auction house, right?" The two girls looked at him and shook their heads. "… Crap." And with that, he ran off.
Alright, screw these dated methods of displacing our hero into an Isekai. Let's just do what Re:Zero did and plop him in Remnant with zero explanation.
"Wait, what?"
"Do you know how hard it is to find-"
Suddenly, a boy with short brown hair and wearing a bloodied shirt and jeans popped into the dust shop, scaring Roman.
"What the shit!?" Roman whacked the boy with his cane.
"O-ow! Stop it!" Midori spoke out.
"YES! GIVE INTO ZETSUBOU DA AND BECOME A FANTAMU!" A minotaur monster appeared out of-
Oh, who am I kidding, nobody watches Wizard. Let's see… What Kamen Rider should I fuse this show with… Oh! How about Build?
"But Build isn't finished yet."
Shit! Kuuga?
"Too old."
Ghost!
"Too boring."
Gaim?
"Too overrated."
Ryuki!
"Madoka ripoff."
What the shi- Fine, Hibiki!
"What? You mean Symphogear?"
N-no, I mean… Uuuuuuuuugh fuck it, Ex-Aid.
Suddenly a Gashat appeared in Midori's hands. It was the one of a kind Kamen Rider Chronicle Admin's Gashat that Masamune Dan had! And in his other hand was his Buggle Driver Zwei!
"Bewaaaaaare… I haunt the Driver…" Masamune's voice echoed from-
Eeeeh, no. That concept's done already.
"B-but-"
Masamune doesn't haunt the Driver. It's just a normal Buggle Driver… But black and red because shut up. Midori slapped on the Driver.
"B-but I don't know how to fight!"
But inside, he had a fighting spirit, an inner desire to live out his power fantasy and become the most powerful Rider next to Kiwami!Gaim.
"I think using this is dangerous-"
HE SLAPPED ON THE MOTHERFUCKING DRIVER, ACTIVATED THE DENSETSU KAMEN RIDER CHRONICLE DELUXE ADMIN GASHAT AND HE HENSHINED!
"O-okay! H-henshin!"
GASHAT!
Suddenly Midori disappeared into orange pixels… Shit.
GAME OVER!
Forgot the Buggle Driver Zwei did that to non-Bugsters. Erm… Omega 13?
Thirteen seconds earlier…
So, after writing in the detail that he had spent the last sixteen years building up an immunity to his Bugster DNA, Midori was finally able to transform.
"O-okay…" Midori looked at his opponent, a now bored Roman Torchwick as a goon was kicked out the window. "Henshin!"
GASHAT!
SLAM!
Midori sat in a dark room next to Ruby Rose-
"H-hey! What the hell?!"
I just realized that I can't write fight scenes for shit. But that's okay, there's not that many fight scenes in RWBY nowadays, so if RWBY is deciding not to bother, why should I.
"B-but people will be very disappointed. They probably read Kamen Rider fanfics for the action and probably love RWBY crossovers because it shows how Kamen Rider can fare against Huntsmen and-"
Okay, look, there's only one thing that matters in these Kamen Rider/RWBY SIs. You see that QT next to you?
Midori looked to the side and saw the most adorable black-haired girl who had shimmering silver eyes-
"Dude, I think she's like, 15."
YOU WILL MAKE OUT WITH RUBY ROSE AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!
"But, I'm like… ten years older!"
"Dude, I'm a thousand years older and I'm gonna bodyjack a boy who's gonna be two years younger than Ruby. And people ship me with her." Suddenly, Ozpin waltzes into the interrogation room.
"But I haven't had any time to speak!"
Sorry Glynda, but your actress burned her bridges with Rooster Teeth via Twitter and so now you're irrelevant. So instead, we're replacing you with…
"POPPY PIPOPAPO!" Poppy!
"Why?" Both Midori and Ozpin asked.
BECAUSE I SAY SO!
Anyways, Ozpin, go ahead and invite me- I mean, Midori – Yeah… - To Beacon.
"Why? He hasn't shown me anything to prove he's ready and I had made Ruby a special exception."
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssse?
"I don't wanna go to Beacon!" Midori, the cowardly bitch son of Shinji Ikari apparently, cried.
"See! Even he doesn't wanna go!"
But you're the wise mentor! Aren't you able to manipulate people into doing whatever you want?
"What?! No! I'm not that evil! What kind of perverse being convinced you that I would manipulate-"
Pyrrha in Volume 3.
"… Fuck you. Alright, Midori, you're going to Beacon."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"
GLOMP!
"CAN'T BREATHE!"
Don't cry about it, Midori, it's just Yang's Yangs. Everyone loves Yang's Yangs.
"I'm gonna die!"
No, you won't, Midori. You're the self insert. Self inserts never die.
"But I got run over by a truck!"
That doesn't count, and you know it!
"Aaaah, jeez, Narrator, why me?"
B-because, Midori, you're my vessel! You're gonna have the life I never had! W-we're gonna go on so many adventures, Midori! You and me! And also your harem! But not Jaune and Sun! Fuck them! They're the bane of shippers everywhere! How dare they steal away my-I mean your waifu!?
"Okay, take it easy! I think there's a sick guy barfing, I'm gonna go check up-"
N-no! He's going to fuck us all over! He's the reason Beacon falls! The sooner you kill him, the sooner you can add Pyrrha to the Peerage!
"W-W-WHAT!?" Midori shouted.
Yeah! You need to complete my- your harem! You're the only one who can save Beacon, Midori! You're this world's last hope! N-nobody else is gonna do it! It's just you, Midori! Just you and me! You're not gonna beat the ten games and be a super doctor, Midori! Y-you're gonna make a harem that'll put Negi and Issei to shame! You're gonna make me proud, Midori! Remember, you're the only winner here! Welcome to Beacon, Midori, YEAH!
"So… Apparently your name is Midoriya?" Ruby asked.
"No! It's just Midori!"
"Midori?"
"Yeah!"
"Midoriya!" Yang replied.
"No!"
"So it's just Midori?" Ruby asked.
"Yeah."
"Oh! So it is Midoriya!" Yang nodded.
"… Fine. I'm Midori…ya. What's the worst that can happen?"
"So… There's a Kamen Rider in this world." Roman lit a cigar, lighting up the dark warehouse where a shipment of Dust rested in the VTOL airship.
"Another one?" His boss, a foxy voiced woman with a long red dress, just smirked. "How boring. I've played this game way too many times to keep track." She kissed a large, bulky purplish red Gashat with a yellow knob.
"Well, to be fair, we did this about a hundred and ten times by now. Maybe more if you count multi-crossovers." Roman blew smoke out of his mouth.
"Oh, shut up, who's even keeping track?" Cinder glared as she held up her free hand. Fire lit up as behind her were two monsters. One a green draconic looking monster, and the other a large rose man in a white and pink dress.
"Can you stop?" Roman glared
"Stop what?" Cinder smirked.
"Showing off random shit that gives off the implication that we have the Bugsters working for us or that you're a Kamen Rider as well." Roman said.
"Well, it's like that man said… Fate is like a puzzle."
"That does it! I'm out of here! I'm gonna go raid a few more dust shops." Roman ran out. Cinder just kept her coy grin and licked her lips as a boy wearing a black jacket and various wires around his body walked forward.
SEE YOU NEXT GAME!
[Author's REAL Note: Okay, okay, if it isn't obvious by now, I am making a parody of a Kamen Rider/RWBY SI. None of this is serious. This is a crackfic.]