He was humanity's greatest solider. You were just another life he carried on his shoulders.
You had fallen in love with him after watching him. Seeing the way he flew through the air with such grace; the way he sliced through a titan's neck with the same expression someone would cut though a piece of toast in the morning. His skills were truly unmatched and somewhere along the way, you found you couldn't take your eyes off of him anymore. People called him cold; indifferent to others and yet you had seen him save more lives than you could ever hope to keep track of. You never once saw him ask for a thank you, either.
There was so much more that lay beneath those dark eyes than just a regular man. He had likely seen more hardships than you would've ever been able to bear and more pain than you could ever hope to survive. And yet, everyday without fail, he'd walk around with that same damn look on his face as if none of it mattered to him. Had he really convinced himself of that?
There was a probably a part of you believed that to be true. And yet you still managed to convince yourself that it wasn't the case; he was human and he had emotions too.
But he was humanity's strongest solider and humanity's strongest solider can't be allowed to break down, can he? It would cause panic within the others around him.
And so after watching him, day in and day out, you had managed to convince yourself that the brave and emotionless demon corporal was just a front. An act that he was expected to, needed to, keep up. After all, you had seen firsthand how much he truly cared for his comrades and how much he hated each death around him.
You'd overheard him say to another squad leader that it was because he "hated pointless deaths" but you were sure that there was probably something inside of him that felt the same pain that everyone else felt; the same loss that each solider in the Survey Corps knew too well by now. You also knew that wasn't something he would ever show, too.
No matter how much you loved him you knew it would never be enough. It would never be enough to reverse the things he'd seen or take way the things he'd done. It would never bring back any of the lives lost nor would it ever save the lives of the future either. It would never be enough to drown out the evils of this harsh reality no matter how badly you wanted to cover his eyes from it all.
No matter how much you loved him, it would never be enough to let him drop the mask that is humanity's greatest solider. You sometimes felt as if he himself had even lost track of where the disguise started and ended, at this point. Your love could never be enough.
In fact, for someone like him, your love would just be a nuisance. You could only imagine the click of his tongue in annoyance in response to your words. You actually thought that you might even be happy if he'd at least scowl at your confession just so you could be sure he had heard it correctly.
But you knew that was too much to ask for. A small twitch in repsonse along with his usual, dark eyes that seemed to pierce through everything that made up this world would be his only response.
Because he was humanity's greatest solider, and you were just another life he carried on his shoulders.