A/N: Let's try this again, shall we? Moogle reminded me on occasion about this story, and I finally thought to upload it.
Read and review, if you please!
Disclaimer: I do not own, manage, stalk, produce, or otherwise call Tokio Hotel, including the sexy Kaulitz twins, my own.
"Oh mein gott, it's good to be home," Tom exclaimed as he burst through the door of his and Bill's four bedroom condo.
Bill trailed behind him, wheeling two suitcases, with a third slung over his shoulder. Silently he made his way to his bedroom, where he dropped the cases and walked back out. "Yeah, I guess."
Tom looked up. As usual, he'd dropped his suitcases in the middle of the living room. "Why so glum, baby brother? I mean, I know you love touring, but even you have to have been getting tired." He led the way as he and Bill left their condo and headed back down the elevator.
"Yeah, I suppose." He got on the elevator with his twin and leaned against the far wall.
Tom turned and stared. "Come on, Bill. Cheer up. Do you want to go visit mom and dad? I know that always makes you happy."
They stepped off the elevator, and headed toward Tom's Escalade, where their bags were. Bill shook his head. "No, not really."
They each grabbed two more bags each and headed back to the elevator. "Seriously, Bill. What's up? Do you want to read fan mail? That normally cheers you up."
The two of them stepped onto the lift and Tom pushed the button for their private floor, inserting the key and turning it. The doors closed and the elevator began moving. "Don't really want to." Bill shrugged.
The doors opened and they stepped out into the small hallway/parlor that separated the elevator from their front door. "Well, what do you want to do, then?" Tom looked vaguely annoyed now.
Bill took his bags back to his bedroom and left them there, while Tom dropped his in the middle of the living room and waited. It would take him days to get all of his stuff unpacked and put away in his room. "I guess I just want to get everything up here and unpack. After that… I don't know."
"Okay." Tom shrugged. Bill could tell he was irritated, but he didn't say anything. They made their way back down to Tom's vehicle, and with the help of the guards, got the last of their bags and brought them up. Once the guards had made sure they were settled and left, Bill made his way back to his room to unpack.
Tom followed. This was a ritual - Bill would unpack his stuff while Tom sat on his bed and watched. However, Bill paused at his door and turned to face Tom. "Hey, can you give me some space?" He didn't say it in a mean way or an irritated way - but in a tired, almost sad tone of voice.
Tom's expression showed shocked hurt until he closed it off. "Sure, no problem." He turned and wandered aimlessly to the living room, unsure of what to do. Finally he settled on the couch, sitting there, wondering what was wrong with his twin.
***Three Hours Later***
Bill emerged from his room, having finished unpacking. There was a purposeful expression on his face, and his stride was determined. He entered the living room to see Tom playing on the laptop. Tom looked up, and seeing Bill's face, shut the laptop and sat back. "What's up, Bill?"
Bill sat down on the opposite corner of their couch. Tom, sensing that he needed his space, remained in his corner. The two of them stared at each other. Finally, Bill spoke. "Tom… I… I'm gay."
Tom stared at him for several moments, his expression unreadable. Finally he sighed. "Yeah, I kind of figured you might be."
But Bill wasn't through. He took a deep breath. "Tom… that's not all."
Tom watched him carefully. "What else, Billa?"
Bill gulped. "Tom… I'm… in love with you."
Tom's expression twisted into shock and disbelief. "No you're not." Instant denial.
Bill laughed - but it was a dry, humorless sound. "Yeah, Tom. I am."
Tom shook his head. "Bill… We're brothers. Twins. We can't fall in love with each other. It's impossible."
Bill smiled. It was a sardonic expression, full of irony and pain. "'The heart wants what the heart wants.'" He quoted.
Tom shook his head. "No, Bill. You're confused. You've said yourself that the twin connection is a powerful connection. You're right, it is. You're confusing it for a different powerful connection. You love me, Bill, but you're not in love with me."
Now Bill was scowling. "Don't tell me what I do or don't feel, Tom. I know who I am, and I know what I feel. The love I feel for you isn't a brotherly love, and it's different from a twin love. It's a kind of love that makes me want to just kiss you sometimes. A kind that makes me want to grab you and hold on and never let go. A kind that makes me so jealous of whatever girl you hook up with. It makes me want to hold your hand when we go places, and tell everyone that you're mine. It makes me want to climb into bed with you, and just-"
"Mein gott, Bill, stop!" Tom cut him off quickly, and his expression was tortured, as if he couldn't stand to hear what his brother was saying. "Bill… how can you be in love with me? I'm your BROTHER. I don't… You can't…"
Bill focused his gaze on Tom. "You don't what?"
Tom hesitated. "I don't… love you in that way, Bill."
Bill closed his eyes. Tom could see the pain written across his twin's face, and it killed him. "I'm sorry, Billa…"
Bill opened his eyes. Tears that were threatening to fall made them glitter. Tom wanted to reach for his brother, but something made him hold back. Slowly Bill spoke.
"It's okay." He rose from the couch. It felt as if he were moving through molasses - every physical act was an effort. He gazed at his twin, though he wasn't seeing him. He wasn't seeing anything. His vision had gone grey. He forced himself to turn, to leave the living room and walk to his bedroom. He walked in a shut the door behind him. Slowly he moved to his bed, and sat down on it, staring vacantly at the wall. One tear tracked down his cheek, and then several more followed as Bill dissolved into silent tears.