Life is harsh and unfair. Misunderstandings just make things worse. In this case, it drew the line between friendship and romance. If only we could say what we really feel, things would be easier. But humans are complicated. Life is complicated…
Inu's POV
I have no idea how I managed to let her convince me to help her clean her front yard. I couldn't help but grumble in misery. And that's when she walked by and flashed me one of her famous smiles. Oh yeah, that's how she did it. What a poor sap I am.
"You know, you're a life saver Inu. I have no idea how I would've finished all this by myself."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't think I'm doing this for free. I expect to get treated out for a burger later on." Ha! I'm such a liar. Everyone knows I would drop everything just to spend time with her. Hell, this stupid rake knows I'd do anything for her.
She laughed, "You got it! Anything you want! My treat!"
I laughed and shook my head. This girl was gonna be the death of me one day. But I wouldn't care. I couldn't think of a better way to go.
It was always Inu and Kags. The infamous Dynamic Duo. We had been best friends since we first learned how to talk. Inseparable.
Her phone rang and her face brightened. She received a text and she couldn't help but giggle like some love sick school girl. Then again, she was. She started walking towards the house, and I knew she would stop and start daydreaming about him again.
"Oh no you don't! These are your chores. You are not leaving me here to finish them by myself."
"Pleaaase Inu?"
She clapped her hands together, like she was praying, and held it right next to her lips. The wind danced with her hair, keeping her bangs from her eyes. She kept her left eye winked while her right one gave me the most irresistibly cute stare I had ever seen. Oh crap, she was using her charm on me. Shit, I'm screwed.
"Fine, fine. Go, be marry." I waved my hands in dismissal and smirked at her new found bouncy expression. So much for inseparable.
I could hear her giggle every time her cell vibrated. And it damn as hell hurt. But she was so happy, how could I ever think of another emotion that she deserved more? She was happy; that's all I've every cared about. She walked back to me with such a bright expression. I loved it. I've always loved seeing her smile. Even if it wasn't because of me.
"Inuyasha...' her eyes were dreamy, 'he's...just so...wonderful." Her high school girl face was back, and this time she even blushed! And yes, I found it adorably cute. Pathetic.
She looked so happy, so peaceful just talking about him. She could go on and on about everything and not even so much as blink. But when it was about him, you'll never lay your eyes on a more beautiful person in the world. It's like the very mention of his name would 'turn her frown, upside down'. It was cheesy, lame, and dumb. But it was so damn true.
I smiled. I know what she wants, and I'm more than willing to give her the simple life she's always dreamed about. If I had the chance, I'd stop at nothing to make sure she knew just how special she was. Everyday I'd find some new way to show her how much she means to me, just so she would give me that little giggle she does when she's absolutely flattered. I'd stay awake each night just to prove to her that I don't want to miss a moment where she could be with me. Whatever it took, I'd do it.
But I've had plenty of chances. I just couldn't man up and fight for the one girl that could possibly mean everything. Because I know, that if it isn't him offering her what she wants, she won't take it. And you know, it sucks! Because I can't give her what she wants...only cause she won't let me.
It made me sick to my stomach as to how blind she was. All she ever did was talk about him. About how much she cares about him. How he was her everything. I just wanted to yell at her, shake her, make her wake up.
I don't get it. Do I have to hold up flashing neon lights to let her know how much I cared? Do I have to go on my knees just so she'll notice that I have feelings for her too? I can't help but be so frustrated with her. But then again…it wasn't really her fault.
I haven't exactly been completely honest either. Sure I complain about how blind she is sometimes, but I never really gave her any reason to think that I felt more for her than just a friend. If you honestly think about it, everything I've ever done could be put under the 'best friend' category.
Yeah. I know. I'm a wimp.
"Hellooo? Earth to Inu? Are you alive?" she waved her tiny hands in front of me.
It's cute how she thinks I'm not paying attention. Pft, like that would ever happen. "Huh? Sorry, I'm not here right now, please leave your name and number after the beep. Beeep!"
I can feel myself smile at her adorably cute pout.
"Inuyasha! Not funny!" But she's giggling.
I smirked, "Of course it's not, that's why you're laughing."
Her smile widened, "Don't flatter yourself buddy. It was a pity laugh!" She stuck her tongue out playfully.
I clutched to my chest, pretending I was hurt, "Ugh! My heart! The pain thou hath dealt is far too much to bear!"
She cracked one of her little laughs. She punched me in the arm. "Hey! Don't hate Shakespeare. It's my thing." She giggled again. I smiled. Of course I knew that.
I knew her better than anybody, and I was damn hell proud of it. I knew her favorite ice cream is cookie dough. I knew that she's deathly afraid of clowns. That she loves the smell of flowers after a rough winter storm. She's stubborn and will stop at nothing to be heard; but that doesn't mean she won't listen to you. Her favorite book is Persuasion by Jane Austin. She ties her shoes like a first grader, using two loops, because she thinks it's easier.
She's adorably childish when she's happy. But mature when she has to be. She makes these weird faces when she's arguing with herself only because she thinks no one is looking. She's a die hard believer of true love, because it's her only escape from reality. And I knew that she always hated reality until she met him.
"So…Inu…Umm. Are you busy this weekend?" she was twiddling with her fingers.
I looked at her. She was…nervous? Why? She was never the type to be hesitant about anything, let alone in front of me. But here she was biting her lip and looking at everything but me.
It finally clicked. She was asking me out…? This weekend? Maybe? I could feel myself beaming with excitement.
"No not at all. Why?" I smiled at her.
She looked up with her extremely bright face. "Really? Cause I was wondering if you wanted to go to the park with me?" She placed her hands behind her back, and began to sway side-to-side innocently; that became her habit since the fourth grade.
I couldn't help but melt when I saw her smile. No, no, no. Pull it together Inuyasha! Right now isn't the time to go mushy gushy in front of Kagome. I smirked to keep a façade, "Ahh. Koga's visiting that day right? You're finally gonna introduce me to your boyfriend, huh?"
Her back straightened, and her eyes shot up at me. Her smile softened and she was the shy school girl again, "Umm…well…yeah…' so many emotions were running through her eyes. I can't help but be so jealous of him. Simply mentioning his name made her emotions run wild. '…I mean you should definitely meet him!" she blushed.
Shatter. Of course it was him. She had been talking about him nonstop. And it made sense that she would want her best friend to meet her boy friend. But I still couldn't help but feel hurt. I didn't want to look at her, thinking that maybe it would be easier to decline her offer that way.
But hell, I couldn't. I was a sucker for this girl. Always have, always will be. Anything she wanted, I would do whatever I could to give it to her.
I looked into her hazel eyes. They were just so damn beautiful, you could just get lost in them for years without a care in the world. When did I become such a marshmallow? Then she smiled. Damn. Of course she would smile.
"Finally! I was wondering when you would introduce us! I think I know so much about the guy, I could practically marry him." I scoffed. Why was it so easy to be like this around her? Why was it so easy to force myself to be sad, just to make her happy?
She beamed at me with her signature smile. Oh yeah, that's why. I was madly, pathetically, undeniably in love with Kagome Higurashi. And I would do anything to see her happy.
She jumped at me and hugged me. I felt like I was in heaven. She pulled back and I noticed a chain around her neck.
"That's new. Present?"
She gave me a cute confused expression. I couldn't help but chuckle and point at the chain around her neck. Her expression changed as I heard her say "Ohhh"
She touched the pendant affectionately and smiled to herself. "Koga…" She had that dazed, glistening, dreamy look in her eyes again. And it hurt.
Every time. It happens every time I think that maybe, just maybe, I could make her happy, he somehow pops into the picture and practically makes her glow. It's like taking one step forward and two steps back. It's frustrating to know that you'd never be it, yet you hold on anyway 'cause she's just so damn worth it. Worth every heart break. Worth every sacrifice. Worth more than you could ever give.
Then you find yourself doing things; stupid things, just to get her to notice you. Thinking that maybe she would actually look at you like that; the way she does with him.
The days passed by so quickly, I didn't even notice it was already Saturday until she randomly popped into my house telling me that he was already waiting at the park for us. Today was officially the worst day of my life. She practically shined when she kept talking about him. I'd never admit it aloud, but hell, I'm jealous of the guy. He had the most wonderful girl in the universe, head over heals for him. Lucky bastard. I could see the way she was looking at him.
And I knew that look all too well…it's like your world stops. Everyone and everything simply disappears. And all that's left is you and that person. And you couldn't care less because the one person you would give everything to notice you, is looking right at you. And then you finally realize that that person was it for you, that no other feeling could ever come close to what you were feeling just thinking about them. If anyone could understand what she was feeling, it would be me. It was a heavenly painful bliss.
I felt her hand touch mine. It was so natural…why she couldn't understand that…I'll never know. I felt her fingers intertwine with mine. Her face glowed when she looked at me with those shinning, hazel eyes. And there it was, her smile. The smile I know I'll never be able to put on her face. The smile that had always been reserved for him.
God I wish I could be him.
She turned her head, and I felt her pull me towards him. She chose him. Somehow I always knew she would. But me, being the hopeless best friend, clung to the hope that maybe if I stayed with her, became the shoulder that she could always lean on, be the reason why she would smile everyday…then maybe, she would notice me.
But I'm not blind. I can see the shine in her eyes when she's thinking about him.
It's heartbreaking to just now, finally see…that maybe…
…maybe we're not meant to be.
.
.
.
Kag's POV
I have no idea how I managed to convince him to help me clean the front yard. He was always so kind and thoughtful, always willing to help. I showed my gratitude the only way I knew how; I flashed him a smile. The look in his eyes changed, and he quickly looked away. I wish he would look at me…
"You know, you're a life saver Inu. I have no idea how I would've finished all this by myself." Heh…I don't think he even understands how much I depend on him. He's always been there for me, and not even once has he ever asked for anything in return.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't think I'm doing this for free. I expect to get treated out for a burger later on."
I couldn't help but laugh. Okay, so he's not a complete martyr, but hey! That just makes him all the more perfect in my eyes. And that's Inuyasha for you, always thinking about food, "You got it! Anything you want! My treat!" I couldn't deny him anything. I'm hopeless, I know.
But I couldn't help it. I was glad when I heard him laugh. I felt butterflies in my stomach just thinking that I'm the reason he's smiling. The things I'd do for him…I smiled again. This boy was gonna be the death of me one day. I heard myself giggle. But I couldn't think of a better way to go.
It was always Inu and Kags. The infamous Dynamic Duo. We had been best friends since we were in diapers. We were inseparable.
All of a sudden my text message alarm went off. I reached into my pocket and smiled, it was Sango.
Hanging out with your bf again? –wink–
I couldn't help but giggle. She knew I cared about Inuyasha, and she never missed a chance at reminding me that. I responded a quick, Be quiet Sango! You know he's not my boyfriend!! I started walking towards the front steps of my house until I heard his voice.
"Oh no you don't! These are your chores. You are not leaving me here to finish them by myself." I felt bad for leaving him to rake the leaves alone, but we've been at it since 9 in the morning. It's been at least 5 hours already, and I needed a break. I don't know how he could stand doing chores for such a long time.
"Pleaaase Inu?
I clapped my hands together, hoping he'd let me off the hook, and held it right next to my lips. The stupid wind blew dirt in my left eye, and I couldn't help but close it. But I still tried my hardest to give him my best puppy dog eyes with my right one.
He stared at me. Damn…he probably thinks I look like an idiot.
Finally he smirked and waved his hands, shooing me. "Fine, fine. Go, be marry." I giggled, he's so cute when he does that. When he couldn't see my face anymore, I couldn't help but frown slightly. So much for inseparable.
My cell vibrated again.
Haha I don't know what you're talking about Kagome! I meant 'best friend' not 'boyfriend'. What were you thinking?
I rolled my eyes, but the smile crept its way to my lips. I quickly replied before I started day daming about my best friend. You're so mean! Stop teasing me!!
I sighed. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. And yet, I hated the way things were working out. We were best friends, and best friends weren't suppose to feel this way towards each other…that's just not how it worked. But yet here I was, head over heals for him…
I got up and began to walk towards him. But my head was in the sky.
"Inuyasha…" sigh. He was the only guy that ever stood up for me when were kids. When ever I'd get picked on, he was my knight in shining armor. When my dad died, he was the shoulder I cried on. When I felt like I wanted to give up completely, he gave me reason to smile.
"He's…just so…'
What words could describe him? He was handsome, kind, considerate, thoughtful…all those words fit him, but none were enough to describe him.
'…wonderful…" Yeah, that's about right. He was wonderful, in every form and way, my best friend was wonderful. But in the end…that's all we'll ever be…best friends. And it sucks.
My eyes wondered towards him again. The longer I looked at him, the more I couldn't help but daydream. I looked away to hide my blush. He just had that annoyingly, wonderful effect on me. Every time I saw him, I felt like my world would completely disappear, and all I could see, hear, think, or even understand was him. It was so scary, but amazing all at once…I love the way I feel when I'm around him.
I felt my eyes drift towards him again. I smiled, just seeing him smile. I wonder what he's thinking about. Hehe. Probably about school. He was always such a hard worker. He wasn't one of those 'do thinks half way' kind of guys, he did everything to the fullest. When he committed to something, I'd bet my entire piggy bank that he wouldn't stop until he reached his goal…commitment…
I looked at him slightly confused, he was frowning. All of a sudden I felt bad and my train of thought went back to commitment. Sigh. I bet if he ever committed to a girl, he would do what ever it took just to see her happy. To make sure that she was always smiling. I'm sure he would always show her how much she meant to him. He was just that kind of guy. And I was jealous of his would be girlfriend.
I shook my head slightly, and walked up to him.
"Hellooo? Earth to Inu? Are you alive?" I waved my hands in front of him. Please smile again…
He looked at me and raised an eye brow right before he smirked. "Huh? Sorry, I'm not here right now, please leave your name and number after the beep. Beeep!"
I glared at him, he was making fun of me!? And here I was trying to make him smile. Shows how much I suck doesn't it?
"Inuyasha! Not funny!" I giggled, I was so childish. I mentally frowned; maybe that's why he never liked me.
He smirked again, "Of course it's not, that's why you're laughing."
I smiled again. For some reason, even his sarcastic remarks were always making me happy. "Don't flatter yourself buddy. It was a pity laugh!"
He put his acting skills to the work when he clutched to his chest. I knew he was pretending, "Ugh! My heart! The pain thou hath dealt is far too much to bear!"
I laughed again. He was such a goof; always making me forget everything I was worried about. "Hey! Don't hate Shakespeare. It's my thing." I punched him and laughed again.
He always knew what to say to make me feel better. He was always there, always helped me out through everything. There wasn't a moment in my life that I needed comforting, where he wasn't already offering me his shoulder. I just wish I could be that kind of girl for him. The kind of girl that would make him weak to his knees like he did to me just when he walked by. I could be her right? All I had to do was just ask? Who am I kidding, we're just friends, and that's the painful truth.
I tried a couple times to hint it to him, but the boy is just so darn oblivious!! I told him plenty of times about the guy I was clearly in love with. It was pretty clear that the descriptions of him and my 'crush' were identicle.
I looked at him and smiled a little. That was his thinking face. And I giggled. Maybe this weekend? It was his birthday; it's the perfect time to tell him!! I looked at him again and swallowed my nervousness.
My habit took over, I was twiddling with my fingers, "So…Inu…Umm. Are you busy this weekend?" say no, say no, say no.
He smiled. Yes! That was a good sign! "No not at all. Why?"
I began to feel excited and I couldn't help but smile, "Really? Cause I was wondering if you wanted to go to the park with me?"
I put my hands behind my back. They were shaking tremendously, and I didn't want him to see me so nervous. It was embarrassing!
He smirked at me. "Ahh. Koga's visiting that day right? You're finally gonna introduce me to your boyfriend, huh?"
My back straightened, and my eyes widened. My boyfriend? He thinks I liked Koga? Was he crazy or just plain out stupid?!
"Umm…' What? I knew someone at school spread a rumor that Koga and I were dating. But I didn't think anyone was dumb enough to think that there was ever anything between him and I. Inuyasha of all people wouldn't think that…unless…
"Well…" maybe he knows…what if he knew how I feel about him…and he's just trying to swerve away from the awkward conversation. Was he really serious about the "friends forever" rule? My smile began to waver. I guess that really does mean he'll never see me as that girl.
So I said the only thing I could to save myself from the conversation. "Yeah…"
Pain. Sadness. Hurt. Confusion. I don't know what else to feel…It's like everything was drain from me.
"…I mean you should definitely meet him!" My face felt like it was heating up. I felt sick.
I managed a small smile before I couldn't even look at him anymore. I'm being so stupid right now. I should have expected this right? I don't know what's wrong with me; to ever think that someone like him, would ever even consider someone like me in that way…
"Finally! I was wondering when you would introduce us! I think I know so much about the guy, I could practically marry him!"
I forced a smile. It was the least I could do for him. Frowning would just cause him to worry, and that's something I would never want for him. But I couldn't help it, the frown was coming, so I hugged him, hoping it would hide my face until I regain some sort of composure.
Deep breaths Kagome. Deep breaths. As much as I wanted to hold him like that forever, I let him go, and stared at the ground.
"That's new. Present?"
What? I lifted an eyebrow and tilted my head to the side instinctively. He laughed and pointed at something around my neck. My eyes widened.
"Ohhh" How could I be so stupid!! He wasn't supposed to see it. I put it on today just to see how it would look, but I was in such a rush to open the door for him, that I completely forgot!!
I quickly grabbed it, trying to cover it from view. I loosened my grip almost instantly when I remembered how much it meant to me.
I found it while I was going through my dad's things. It was the pendant my father always wore before he died. The same one my mom gave to him as a safety charm. He forgot to wear it that day…and he never came home again.
"Koga…" The image of my friend asking me the same question appeared in my head; it was the day he confessed his feelings to me. I smiled at the memory. I did feel bad that I had to reject his feelings, but it felt good to tell someone, besides Sango, that I was inlove with my best friend. I had every intention of giving Inu the charm, until today.
The days passed by so quickly and I didn't even notice it was Saturday until my cell phone alarm went off. Good thing I set a reminder for Inu's birthday. I'm such a sad best friend aren't I? Sigh normally, I'd stay up all night waiting for the moment it hits twelve o'clock, just so I'd be the first to greet him. But not this year…I found myself not even talking to him. Just the idea that he doesn't like me like that…it's not something I want.
When I reached his front door I door belled and waited for him to answer. He seemed eager to meet Koga since he was already waiting for me. Today was officially the worst day of my life. It was suppose to be the day I would tell him how I truly felt about him, but instead, it's the day that I'm going to tell Koga that I'd give him a chance.
I held his hand affectionately, for the last time. Because after this day, I'd do my absolute hardest to let him go. But it's so hard. His hands in mine just felt so natural. Like it was as easy as breathing. I don't understand why he didn't see it…and that just made it hurt more. I looked at him one last time, hoping that he would somehow understand what I felt for him.
He looked back at me, and I couldn't help but smile again. It was always his smile. The smile I'll always reserve for him. Even after today, it'll always be his smile.
I turned and looked away. If I stared any longer, I know I would have broken down right then and there. All this time, I tried my best to get him to notice me, but I guess he never will. I don't want to be one of those girls that wait all their lives for someone who's never gonna notice them, even though I know that my best friend was definitely worth it.
But I'm not that strong. And I know he'll never look at me that way.
It's just so painful to just now, finally see…that maybe…
…maybe we're not meant to be.
. .
In the end he didn't know, that he was him and she was that girl.
I'm not really sure about how this story came out. I've been thinking about it for a long time, but I just couldn't portray the emotions I wanted Inuyasha and Kagome to feel. It didn't come out the way I wanted it to, but I figured I'd get your opinions. So please…I normally don't ask, but please review and tell me what you think? Thanks.
Ja!
Angelic Eyes X22