Swan Song
Fandom: Once Upon a Time
Pairing: Regina/Emma (Swan Queen)/Henry
Rated T
4.7k Words
A/N: Warning - Character Death. But hold on till the end for a surprise that I MIGHT elaborate on later.. Depending on how well this is received. Usually not a fan of Character death, but this Idea hit me and I had to get it out. I hope you all enjoy it. I cried like a baby as I wrote it.
Characters are NOT MINE. Though, I wish they were.
Many Many thanks to my Beta, SwansandQueens. You spoil me so! Xo
Emma Swan sat shivering in the corner of her shower. Water which was once warm and comforting now beat down on her like frigid icicles as she hugged her knees to her chest, willing the pain in her head to quell. Her blonde hair, usually light and bouncy, hung heavily around her shoulders and face. Her breath was coming in short hiccups, and she opened her eyes, her head tilting upwards as her hands flew to the sides of her face. She couldn't think, couldn't reason. The pain was too overwhelming. Tears ran down her face and mingled with the icy water. Taking a single, deep breath, Emma used every nuance of strength she had in that moment and reached for the knobs. Slowly, she got the water turned off and lay down. Still shivering, she knew she needed to get up, but the pounding that had taken residence in her skull allowed for very little movement.
"Get up, Emma" she said to herself. Gritting her teeth, she got to her hands and knees. With each breath, she made a little more progress until she was standing on shaky knees, tight fists gripping the shower curtain. Stepping out onto the bath mat, she grabbed her towel, wrapping it quickly around herself and hugging it to her body as she walked quietly down the hall to her bedroom and collapsed in a ball onto her bed, soaking her bedspread. She didn't care. As she lost consciousness, she vaguely registered the sound of someone downstairs calling her name.
"Henry.." she tried to call out to him, as everything went black.
Henry Mills had been knocking on the apartment door for well over 5 minutes. He knew Emma was home, her yellow bug was parked on the street out front. He could hear the water in the shower running, so he waited until it shut off before knocking again, this time calling out Emma's name as well. He heard the bathroom door open and foot steps, then nothing. Sighing, he pulled back the mat where he knew Emma and Mary Margaret kept a spare key. He wasn't supposed to know it was there, but he really needed to talk to Emma, so he unlocked the door and let himself in. He figured he would deal with the consequences later on.
"Emma?" he called out. Silence. "I'm sorry I used the spare key, but I don't think you heard me knocking. So, I'm sorry.." He ventured further into the apartment.
"Emma?" Henry was getting worried. Emma wasn't downstairs, he knew for a fact, so he slowly and tentatively started up the stairs. The creaking of each step sounded inordinately loud in his ears. As he reached the hallway, he slipped on all the water that was covering the floor.
"Whoa! Jeez," he breathed as he caught himself before he fell. Looking to his left, he noticed the bathroom door was ajar, the room empty. A light mist seeped out into the surrounding area.
Henry looked to his right, where he knew Emma's room was. The door was open, but he couldn't see inside; he walked towards it, careful to avoid the puddles.
Standing in the threshold of Emma's bedroom, Henry felt a wave of relief at finally finding Emma. He ran to her bedside and shook her gently, trying to wake her.
"Hey, Emma, it's me. Wake up," he probed. Emma didn't stir. Looking at her face, Henry saw that her eyebrows were knit together and her skin was paler than Mary Margaret's had ever been.
"You're paler than Snow White!" he said to himself. Now quite a bit worried, he shook her harder.
"Emma, please wake up!" he all but screamed, his voice taking on a note of panic.
Emma made a small sound that was half between a moan and a grunt, unconsciously pulling herself tighter into her fetal position.
"Emma," Henry began to cry, "Please.. What's wrong?" He placed his tiny hand on her cheek and tried to make some of his warmth soak into her frozen skin.
Sniffling, he made a command decision. "I'm going to get help, don't worry, Emma!"
He kissed her gently on top of her head and ran out of the room, once again slipping on the water all over the floor.
In the darkness, Emma was aware that she was not alone. However, the presence that she felt was not threatening. She knew it was Henry, but she didn't know how. She couldn't see him, but she knew he was there. The darkness was welcoming and warm. The pain in her head was gone until she felt a jostling, and, like a white lightning bolt, it was back for only a moment. The darkness returned, only to be chased away by another white light. But this one was different. It brought no pain, and it seemed to fill her with a peace.
Slowly, her surroundings changed, and she found herself in a field. Blue sky, green grass, and talking. She couldn't make anything out, it was all hazy and dream like. She saw a wild horse racing and heard a scream. Then another horse. Then two figures talking. They embraced, and she heard one of them, the one which appeared older, say, "Regina." It was an introduction. After which the other smaller figure said, "I'm Snow. Snow White."
Emma blinked rapidly, wondering what was going on. Everything flashed white again, and she found herself in a stable. This time, everything was a little bit more clear, and she saw Regina Mills, a younger version, but she knew that face. She'd know that face anywhere.
Regina was kissing a man who had his arms wrapped around her lovingly. She'd never seen Regina's face so utterly content. No tension wrinkles, no stone-set features. It was beautiful.
With a crash, Emma was alerted to the very young Snow White intruding. Emma couldn't make out what was being said, but somehow, she knew. She watched as Snow ran away, chased closely by Regina.
Emma closed her eyes, and when she opened them, she was standing very close to Regina and Snow who were knelt down on the ground talking and hugging. Emma knew everything being said, though she couldn't make out any words. A single tear fell from Emma's eye.
She saw the two crouching figures pull each other into another hug, and Regina glanced up.
Emma froze, fearing that Regina was watching her. But Regina's eyes were glazed, and she was looking past Emma, into the night sky, a pleading look, almost as if she were praying.
As the white light washed over her again, she saw the young Snow White talking with an older woman. The woman was lovely, to be sure, but something about her terrified Emma all the way to her core. She'd have run, if she had the option. So she watched as Snow betrayed Regina. An understanding fell over Emma. It was like being punched in the stomach. She could feel all the pain of the past which Regina held. The sting of betrayal and the agony of defeat.
Emma watched in fearful wonder as the older woman ripped the heart from Regina's lover. She watched as Regina broke into a million tiny pieces. She desperately wanted to hold Regina, wanted to take all that hurt away. Emma felt the tears flowing freely from her green eyes, and knelt to the ground next to Regina. As she reached her hand out to touch Regina's back, a flash of white light sent her back to the darkness.
Henry's presence was gone, and the images she'd been forced to endure were twisting her insides in agony. Just as she was about to panic, she felt Henry again. He was her hope.
"She's in here!" Henry yelled out as two paramedics followed closely behind him. Henry went to one side of the bed, while the two medics began working on collecting Emma's vitals on the other side.
"Her vitals are stable, but she's unconscious and non-responsive," one calmly told the other. " I have a pulse. Lets get her to the hospital."
They covered Emma, and one lifted her into his arms as they quickly exited with Henry wiping away tears as he followed them.
"Whoa kid, you can't come with us," a medic said as he gently kept Henry from climbing into the ambulance.
"But she's my.. She's…." Henry couldn't think straight.
The paramedic placed a large hand on Henry's head and said, "Go home, Henry. We've got her."
Henry could only watch helplessly as the ambulance sped away, sirens screaming as it took Emma to Storybrooke Memorial Hospital.
Standing in the middle of Main Street and crying, Henry didn't notice the footfalls coming up behind him. Henry didn't recognize the loud clapping of Regina's heels on the pavement.
"Henry? What on Earth are.." Regina stopped as she noticed Henrys' face when he spun around in shock, tears flowing freely from his big brown eyes.
"HENRY? Oh Henry, what is it?"
Regina watched as Henry's face contorted, and he raced towards her. She knelt down and caught the weeping child as he collapsed in her arms. Rubbing his back, she tried to comfort him as much she could without knowing what was going on. Henry clung to her with force, and buried his face in her neck, no longer caring that she was supposed to be Evil. That didn't matter. Not any more. He balled her coat into his fists and choked out his words.
"Hospital. EMMA. NOW!"
Regina pulled back just enough to look into Henry's face. What she saw terrified her. She'd never seen her son look so anguished. Without hesitation, she lifted him up and carried him to her car. Opening the drivers door with one hand, she put him inside, and he quickly scooted over allowing her to get in after him.
"Buckle up, Henry," she said as she started her Mercedes, and sped down Main Street towards the hospital.
Henry and Regina has been at the hospital for 4 hours. After being told that Emma was stable, but critical, Henry had started crying again. Regina felt lost and out of control. Her son's happiness was on the edge of a cliff, and it could fall at any moment. She knew she had to do something, but there was nothing to do but hold the crying boy close to her side. Pulling him with her to the couch in the corner of the waiting room, she sat down and pulled him into her lap. Resting his head on her chest, just under her chin, he cried a little longer before slowly drifting off into a fitful sleep. She breathed a ragged breath, relieved that at least she could still comfort him enough for him to rest, even if it was also due to his emotional exhaustion. Regina laid her head on the back of the couch and soon found herself drifting off as well, her arms wrapped lovingly around Henry's tiny frame as the minutes continued to tick by.
Henry slowly awoke an hour later. His tummy growled, and he needed to use the bathroom. Looking up slowly, he saw Regina was fast asleep. Not wanting to wake her, she'd been so accepting and comforting, he carefully extracted himself from her arms, folding them gently on her lap, and leaned over, kissing her on the cheek. A strange sense of nostalgia swept over Henry as he remembered doing that many times when he was younger. He hoped it would alleviate some of the worry lines on her face. It had taken this tumultuous turn of events to make Henry realize that he no longer cared who she used to be or what she'd done, if anything at all. In this moment, she was just his mother. She'd always been there, and he supposed she always would. He kissed her cheek once more before heading to the vending machine down the hall.
As she rested, Regina had dreams which were at first unsettling, filled with flashes of Emma's face and moments they'd shared, very few of which were happy or loving. Her hatred of "Ms. Swan" suddenly appeared petty and insignificant. Was it even hatred? Or her own insecurity about losing more of what she loved? Emma's face now warmed Regina, and, as she slept, an understanding followed by a firm resolve filled her. She would make it up to Emma, if it was the last thing she'd ever do.
Henry saw Doctor Whale coming down the hall just as he got his cool ranch Doritos out of the vending machine. He winked at Henry as he passed him, a nod of his head indicating Henry should follow him. Henry worried and chewed on his lip as he followed.
Upon reaching the waiting room, Henry raced past Dr. Whale to his mother's side. Taking one of her hands in his own, he sat down beside her. Regina's eyes fluttered open, and she peered down at him. He was looking at her with a new expression. Or perhaps not so much new, as it was forgotten. He used to look at her like that when he was younger. When he needed her. Her heart broke in a million pieces as she stroked his hand with her thumb, meekly smiling down at him.
"I'm here, Henry," she whispered. Henry bit down on his lip again and nodded.
Dr. Whale cleared his throat, effectively gaining the attention of the mother and son.
"Dr. Whale, what is it? Do you have news? Can we see Ms. Swan?" Regina asked as she stood up, never letting go of Henry's hand.
"Emma. Mom.. Emma," Regina looked down at Henry, then back to Dr. Whale. "Can we see Emma, now?" she corrected herself.
Dr. Whale hesitated, and Regina held her breath, silently imploring him to keep the explanation "kid friendly" for Henry's sake.
"Well," Dr. Whale began, "I've found the cause of her unconsciousness, and I'm afraid I have some bad news." Henry's hand held Regina's tighter as he listened, cutting off the circulation to her fingers, but she didn't care.
"So, what is it then?" Regina probed lightly, afraid of hearing anything else he'd have to say.
"Emma has a brain tumor."
All of the blood drained from both Henry and Regina's faces. Henry felt his legs wobble, and he fell to the couch behind him. His chest constricted, and his ears began ringing. Regina sat beside him, placing an arm around him and squeezing him to her.
"But, you can get it out, right? I mean, people have brain tumors removed all the time, don't they?" Regina was on the verge of tears herself.
Dr. Whale just looked down and clasped his hands. "I'm sorry. It's inoperable."
Regina never missed her magic more than she did at that very moment.
Next to Regina, Henry began to stir, the shock fading away and being replaced by an anger that began burning in his chest, pushing within him and needing a way out. His back straightened, and he stood up abruptly. Surprising Dr. Whale, he marched over to the tall man and glared up at him.
"When. Can. We. See. Her." he forced the words out between breaths, his teeth clenched together in anger.
"As soon as we move her to a private room and she wakes up."
Henry just walked back to Regina, and, taking her by the hand, he pulled her up off the couch and into his arms. Regina kissed the top of his head as they hugged. Looking up, Regina shot daggers at Dr. Whale, succeeding in sending him the message that he should leave now, he backed out of the room and down the hall to finish getting Emma ready for her private room.
Thirty minutes later, nurse Jackson peered around the corner, finding Regina and Henry once again seated on the waiting room couch, Regina's arm around her son.
"Mayor Mills?" she said mildly.
"Hmmm?" Regina didn't look up as she hummed. Her head rested gently on top of Henry's.
"You can see Ms. Swan, now."
At that, Regina lifted her head and pulled away from Henry, kneeling in front of him. Her hands on his shoulders.
"You ok?" she asked, searching his eyes.
Henry held his chin up and nodded once.
"Good boy, so brave," Regina cooed as she leaned in and kissed his nose before standing back up and taking his hand as they walked out of the room, following the nurse. Henry kept his chin up, and Regina stared ahead of them, her statuesque "Mayor face" firmly in place.
As they reached the door to which the nurse indicated was Emma's, Nurse Jackson excused herself and walked briskly back down the hall to the nurse's station. Hand in hand, Regina and Henry stared at the door. Regina looked down at Henry, giving him a weak smile which he returned through watery eyes.
"We can do this together, Henry. I won't leave you. Ever." Regina whispered the last word, not trusting her voice.
"I know." Henry laced his fingers in hers.
Regina turned the knob, and they walked in side by side.
Emma was laying on her side, facing away from the door. She did not make any move to turn when she heard the door open. Being told you were going to die tended to make a person care very little about anything at all. At least, that was so until she heard Henry say her name.
Emma closed her eyes as she rolled over in her hospital bed, and when she opened them, Henry was rushing towards her, his face red and cheeks wet from tears. He launched himself at her and landed next to her on the bed, wrapping both legs and arms around her, holding on for dear life as Emma tried, in vain, to keep the tears from flowing down her face as well. Keeping her eyes closed, she tried to control her breathing.
"Hey, kid. What's new?" she managed to get out before her throat constricted and she choked back another sob.
"Oha gahha mamfmph" Henry said with his face still buried in Emma's neck.
Emma just smiled, never opening her eyes. "Me too, kid."
Henry pulled away and sat up on the bed, looking down at Emma. Emma took a breath and opened her eyes, looking up at him. "I love you so much, too, kid" Emma smiled sadly.
Regina hadn't moved from the doorway, watching the scene before her, not wanting to intrude. Reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, she walked forward. The motion catching Emma's eye, she turned her head towards Regina. That wave of compassion hit again like an overflowing fountain welling up inside her. Emma couldn't help the smile forming on her lips.
Regina was transfixed. She'd never seen that smile on Emma's face before. Never seen that smile on anyone at all before. It was the most genuine smile she'd ever laid eyes on. The knowledge that Emma was dying crashing down on Regina, she stumbled the last few feet to Emma's bedside. Henry caught her and held her until she found her footing.
"Thanks Henry, I'm ok," she told him kindly.
Regina pulled her eyes away from Henry and slowly looked at Emma laying on the bed in front of her., tubes and wires everywhere. And still Emma smiled, lifting a hand off the bed in invitation for Regina to take it. Regina did so, quickly, and pulled the hand to her cheek, pressing it gently to her face. Regina closed her eyes as she spoke.
"I'm so very sorry, Ms. Sw… Emma. For everything." Regina whispered, "for the way I have behaved and treated you, for all the pain and grief I've caused." At this, Regina began openly weeping.
Henry slid quietly off the bed, Emma winking at him as he did so in a silent "thank you" to the young boy. "Henry, why don't you go find Mary Margaret, I'm sure she's volunteering today down on the second floor.."
Henry nodded as he took his cue to leave the two of them alone.
Regina, still gripping Emma's hand to her face, felt Emma's other hand on her cheek, caressing it gently.
Regina opened her eyes and looked down at the seemingly fragile form of Emma Swan, laying in a hospital bed, dying. And there was nothing she could do about it.
Emma knew immediately what Regina was thinking. How Regina yearned for control and treasured it. How Regina was feeling helpless and lost. Emma scooted over as best she could, pulling Regina down. Regina melted gracefully into the bed beside Emma, laying her head on a delicate, pale shoulder, Emma's hand gently playing in her cropped hair.
"So, you wait until I'm dying to show your softer side, eh?" Emma teased.
Regina stiffened and peered up at Emma through narrow eyes, a smile creeping onto her lips. Sniffling and calming her breathing, Regina lifted her head and propped herself up on an elegant elbow, taking Emma's hand in her free one.
"I.." Regina tried, biting her lip, a trait Henry surely picked up from Regina, Emma thought.
"I need you to know.. I don't hate you." Regina's eyes shown with new tears. Emma blinked.
"I need you to know I will give Henry all I have and more, and he will never want for anything! EVER," Regina continued, "And I need you to know.. We will never stop loving you."
At that, Emma's eyes widened. "You love me?" white teeth beaming through a bright smile.
Regina did not hesitate again. "I love you." It came out of her mouth without provocation, without manipulation, without fear. The pure and simple truth.
Regina pulled the hand wrapped around hers to her mouth and kissed delicate knuckles. Emma pulled her down and kissed Regina's lips sweetly.
What should have been the first of many kisses in years to come was, sadly, the first kiss of only a few days to come.
The day before Emma Swan died, she was alone in her room with Henry. They were playing, or rather Emma was teaching Henry how to play, Texas Hold'em. Henry was holding the Queen of Hearts card and staring at it.
Emma snickered and asked, "What's up, kid?"
"HMM?" Henry jerked his head up, "OH, uh this card. It gives me the creeps!" he threw it at her. Emma laughed heartily. Though weakened and fragile, her laugh was full of all the energy and vitality of a vibrant and healthy 29-year-old woman. Henry smiled and laughed, too.
"Hey Henry, before, back at my place, when I was unconscious, I had this weird feeling like you were there. Were you?" Emma asked after they had calmed from their fits of laughter.
"Yep. I kissed you on the head before I went to call those medic guys."
"You kissed my head?" Emma raised an eyebrow.
"Mhmm!"
Emma found it almost comical that after everything she'd been through and everything she had seen, only now did she believe in true magic, true love, and the power of a single kiss.
Henry was looking at her with a strange expression, wondering what she was thinking. "Emma? Are you ok?"
Emma looked at him, eyes shining. "Yeah, kid. I am. Everything is."
Henry cocked his head to the side, and Emma laughed again.
"You'll see what I mean." She ruffled his hair. "And by the way, you should know, I had a dream," Henry watched her carefully, taking in all she said, trying to memorize everything about her so he could hold onto it forever, "..and that's why I need you to promise me you will never again treat your mother like an Evil Queen. Promise me, Henry."
After listening to Emma recall her dream to Henry, and believing every word, he simply nodded. He'd already decided to love Regina no matter what, after all she'd done for him in the past few days, but it was important to Emma that he promise her this one request. He could see it in her eyes.
"I promise." was his simple reply.
Emma smiled and pulled him into a tight hug, before she began tickling him. The sound of his laughter settling in her soul like a blanket.
Ten minutes before Emma Swan died, Regina was sleeping lightly in the chair beside her bed, her head resting on her arm on the bed as she held Emma's hand. Emma's fever had kept her delirious for the past few hours, and Regina's touch was all that had calmed her. Regina was gently woken by a sound, a sweet melody permeating her senses. A song. As Regina became aware of her surroundings, she knew the sounds were coming from Emma. She was singing. A tune Regina had heard her father sing when she was a little girl. Emma's eyes were closed, but the smile on her face told Regina she was awake.
"How do you know that song?" Regina breathed, in awe of the voice she never knew Emma had.
"I heard it in my head. A man with white hair and kind eyes said you'd like it."
Regina felt tears stinging her eyes. Emma began singing again, this time more clearly, and the words filled the room as Emma sang them flawlessly. Regina felt a calm she hadn't felt since she was told Emma would not live much longer. Her heart felt light, and the ache in her soul was dissipating with each melodic note.
Emma opened her eyes as she sang the last verse, "But you just learn to love the little things, I've lived long enough to know." Emma's eyes locked on Regina's, "and this is still my swan song. It was a good life, it was a good life," Regina climbed onto Emma's bed, pulling her head to her chest as Emma sang the last words, "I'd do it all again, I'd do it all again…"
Emma felt her breath become shallow, and looked up at Regina, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. Emma reached up and caught one on her finger. Bringing it to her lips, she kissed it. Regina ducked her head down and kissed Emma's lips as she felt the life draining out of her.
Emma breathed onto Regina's lips as she said, "I love you, Gina. I won't really be gone. I promise."
Breath slipped unguarded out of Emma's parted lips as she lay her head on Regina, and, with the last semblance of her being, Emma pressed her lips to the corner of Regina's mouth.
Regina knew Emma was gone, but she remained in there, holding onto her for as long as she possibly could until the night nurse found them that way twenty minutes later, Regina gently rocking Emma's body. Tears had begun to dry, acceptance and what could only be described as love colored Regina's face as she released her hold on Emma.
Emma Swan was buried on a Sunday. Henry stood dutifully beside Regina, holding her hand. They'd both cried, too many times to count, and they'd cry many times to come. But now, now was for saying goodbye - just for now. All of Storybook was there to lend a sympathetic hug to Henry and a nod of recognition to Regina. Ruby seemed the most upset, even going so far as to give Regina a short hug before leaning down in front of Henry.
"She was an amazing lady, and you will be all that she was." Ruby turned and walked quickly away before she could be hit by another wave of emotion.
Regina looked down at Henry and smiled sadly.
"She's right" Regina whispered.
Henry smiled. It never reached his eyes, but it was a sincere smile. And he took Regina's hand in his smaller one as they said one last goodbye at Emma Swan's grave, Regina kissing her fingertips and laying them on the cool granite. As they walked calmly to their car, neither of them noticed the third presence walking with them next to Regina, with a hand on her back. Emma Swan always kept a promise.