Okay this is a one shot. It's something I could probably make into a full story, but really I'm just the kind of person who likes really interesting one-shots. I mean there are so many out there that you have to make it interesting or you're just part of the crowd, and that is pure lunacy. SO uhm I'm just going to go straight in to it. The summery pretty much explains the pres story so yeah. Oh, and its form Kaname's point of view. Well enjoy.
*._.
I love Him. I hate him and I hate to admit it, but I love him. He is…amazing and he is absolutely despicable! I want nothing to do with him and I never want to leave his side! But he loves her as always and I am just left here waiting and watching the simple exchanges they make. I wish I was her. Even if I were a woman instead of a man.
Ha, a man. I'm in love with a man. A taboo I never thought would be possible for me. Of Course I didn't really expect any of this to happen. I never wanted any of it! Then again I did, because now all I want is him. I want ever part of him. I want to make a mess of him and leave scars and burns on every inch of his skin and watch them as they slowly scar over. Slowly turning to reminders of me. scars that bind him to me! Scars that make him hate me! That will make him utterly feel like he wants to kill me, just as he has threatened to do so many times before! Have him hate me so much he could never let me go…hate me so much that he could never forget me…
But that will never happen.
My name is Kaname, and his is Zero, unfortunately that's the amount of emotion he has regarding me…absolutely zero…
*._.
"You're blaming this on me!" Zero spat at me. I looked around the crowded hotel before yanking his arm and hauling him into the elevator. Discretion was never Zero's forte.
I slammed my fist in to the 'close elevator doors' button before speaking. "That is exactly what I'm doing Zero." I hissed at him. Neither of us moved to press a number so the elevator just stayed still.
"Oh really?" he said taking a step closer to me.
I looked up in to those clear crystal steel colored eyes. I was furious with him. "Argh, don't you get it Zero it's always like this! You never pay attention to me when I try telling you something! Yuuki's out there now alone and it's because of you!"
He slammed his fist in to the metal wall. The metallic ring sang and vibrated coming together creating a resounding hum in my ears. "Don't you dare Kaname! This isn't just my fault! Yuuki doesn't need a babysitter!"
I faced his challenge staring him straight in the metallic eyes. "No, but she needs a friend that can at least stay loyal!"
"Loyalty?" he repeated as if I had insulted him. He laughed then, like it was some inside joke. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. The elevator shuddered to start an accent. He let his head drop as he laughed. Then abruptly stopping he threw his head back staring me down. His height added to this his almost placid pale complexion and pale colorless hair making those icy cold steel eyes gleam in the dimly lighted elevator. "You know I've been hearing some pretty interesting things about your loyalty lately."
"What's that have to do with anything?" I hissed. I wasn't biting at this. I wasn't going to let him act like some arrogant bastard again! This fight was for Yuuki this was about Yuuki, not what I was feeling. And I loved Yuuki. I had to love her if nothing else, to try to bury these feelings for that arrogant hot headed bastard so far down I wouldn't ever be able to find them.
He chuckled again. "Everything. I've always wondered why you tagged along after me even though we end up in fights like this constantly…" he gave a pause before answering his own question. In that pause I saw a flicker of his breathtaking smile. His smile of everlasting secrets. "I got a pretty good idea why now." After he said it another flicker. He knew a lot more than he was telling, but I wasn't biting. He was not winning this fight.
"What are you talking about?" I demanded of him trying to draw up as much force in to the words as I could muster. I kept both eyes on him watching him for anything that was off.
"Don't be stupid Kaname. I would have found out sooner or later." There was a confidence in his voice now. He was acting like he was going to not only win, but like he owned this fight and me. That hit a nerve in side. No one owned me! I was a pureblood! A Prince among my race.
I closed my eyes briefly, trying to tame the monster inside, before continuing. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Yes you do." his eyes were a festering cold silver steel now as they shot through me. My breathing was coming faster, but I wasn't admitting to this defeat. He couldn't have found out. I have told no one! Not a soul alive or dead!
I changed tactics. "Stop being such an ass hole Zero and face up to your mistakes." I let the razor tip of my words sink in as I said them. I watched carefully to see if blood would start oozing.
He looked at me as I said it. Anger was burning in his eyes. I smiled for as I watched blood splatter and smear. I'd hit a nerve. "You have the cockiest mouth tonight…" He said slowly as he looked at me. In those few seconds of silence afterward he seemed to grow bigger or maybe I was just noticing his actual size. He was taller stronger and more athletically built than I'd ever be. My smile faded. I'd always thought of us as having matching statures, but now that I looked at him. He was broader more solidly built and close to an inch taller. He was a hunter, and raised as one. His physic was that of a fighter. Not like mine. I was raised and breed for royalty, not for the battlefield. Then he spoke again. "I think I'll shut it up!" He pounced slammed into me and grabbed onto my jacket holding me suspended against the wall with one hand the other tore through my pockets looking for the room key. He found the card and read the number printed on it. He then put the card in his mouth holding it with his teeth and using his fist he hit the button on the right of the elevator doors.
"Zero put me down!" I howled as I tried loosening his grip on my jacket. He took the card from his mouth shoving it in his pocket.
"No. You tell me to fess up to my mistakes! Why don't you do a bit of fessing up now!" He spat at me. A well placed insult lost in the mist of discretion.
"I don't know what you're talking about!" I snarl though gritted teeth. Then the door slid open with a chime and he yanks me from the wall and through the doors.
"Oh, yes, you do." he say as he pulls me down the hall.
I stumble, trying at his grip still giving it all just to keep from falling and being dragged down the hall. "Zero! Let go!"
He gets to the room fishing for the key. I try throwing a punch at him, but he ducks and sends one into my gut instead. "Don't start a fight with me Kaname. I'm much better at combat than you are when you're mad. You're kind was never suited to a fist fight!"
He slides the key in, pulling it out, and opening the door. Then he flings me into the room. I land on my knees at the side of the bed half on the floor. I was at his feet, like a dog being punished for growling too loud. I spin to glare at him, but he's way ahead of me. He grabs me and spun me face down on the bed. I growl into the comforter and try struggling as he held me down. He doesn't seem effected as he rips the jacket off my shoulders.
He then had me up and dragged me to the carpet at the foot of the bed. I was back on my feet a second latter. He had my wrists behind my back held tightly in one hand. I looked back over my shoulder at him. He was loosening the tie and working it from his neck. A second latter he ducked it over his head and tossed it on to the carpet across the room. He then unbuttoned a few buttons at his collar.
"What are you doing?" I snarled. His eyes flashed up to mine. He gave me that deviant crooked smile.
"What does it look like? I'm giving you what you want."He had a flicker of amusement in his smile as he said the rest "and I'm simply taking advantage of this situation!" My eyes went wide as I comprehended his words.
My eyes flicker back to look at him. Did he know all of my secrets? "What situation?" I asked, trying to sound confident I didn't know the answer.
He snorted. "You don't' know?"
I didn't answer. I didn't want to answer, for fear of what he might say.
"You think that I wouldn't know why you have only empty threats tonight?"
I didn't say anything, trying to keep what pride I could muster left.
"I have to say that little bit of medicine Kaien does hide you power level quite well, too bad it has other effects." Zero whispered against my neck.
I turned my head back to face front. My breathing was coming fast. My eyes locked on the bed in front of us. "Zero…" I whispered shakily. Suddenly he was very close. His lips were at me ear. I felt the heat as his body pressed to mine. I froze as his heat radiated to me.
"So are you admitting it now?" he said in that deep sultry voice he used when he felt in control. He chuckled. I knew he was more than likely giving his crooked smile still. "Say it to me, Kaname, I'm right here." I felt my breathing falter and I knew I was shaking. This wasn't just a close call. This was real. He'd really found out.
"Who—" I stopped taking a breath before trying again. "Who told you?"
He breathed slowly on my neck before he answered. "Let me hear it first. Let me hear that weakness you've been hiding from me."
"Zero don't—" I started but he cut me off.
"Just say it Kaname!"
I was scared now. Zero was fierce and vicious and beyond control. Who knew what he'd do if I didn't comply. "I…" I looked to the ceiling. My eyes were welling. I had lost. I was submitting to his will. "I…"this was it this was me defeated by him. I hated what I felt for him. He was infuriating. I clenched my teeth. He was winning and I couldn't stop him. I had to fall. I had to and then he'd just smile and throw me in a heap on the floor. He was cocky and prideful. He'd never let this moment go this moment right now. I looked to the ground. This was it, this was my finally. I'd say it and he would spit in my face and leave me. The worst of it is I'd crawl back to him. In the morning he'd be crueler as ever and like the lap dog I was deep down was I'd do as he said and act with as much honor as I could muster. From this moment on I'd always be on my knees. I'd always be at his feet whimpering for anything he'd give me. I swallowed before pulling my head up. I licked my lips and said it. "I love you."
I heard him chuckle lightly the second I'd said it. He then laughed louder almost mocking me. I turned my head away from him locking my eyes on the floor. "You're pathetic." He spoke in my ear.
I shuddered at his words but stayed as still as possible. The game would be over in minutes and I'd be left alone to deal with the confession I'd just made.
"But in a way so am I." he said calmly as he reached his hand around my body. He went to my collar and started slowly unbuttoning my shirt. My eyes widened.
"Zero, don't please—what are you doing? I don't get it." The panic in my voice was clear.
"I told you, Kaname, I'm giving you what you want." I gulped as he finished with the shirt and slid his hand in between the cloth. His thumb ran over my nipple and I convulsed in shock away from his hand and closer to his body.
"Come on Zero don't you want to see how big of an ass hole I can be?" sarcasm seeped through the words as he turned my thrown out insult to him back to me. I wasn't liking this at all. He rubbed his thumb on my nipple again.
"Zero…please Zero don't do this…" I said breathless. What wsa he thinking why was he still here? Was I wrong? I'm never wrong about anything? And yet then again I'm completely helpless! Damn it! He was right, the medicine Kaien had given me so I could even come with Zero had completely incapacitated my powers. I was practically human! Damn it! If only I hadn't taken that stupid medicine. I shouldn't have been so concerned with having no one notice that I had left.
"Why the hell not?" he said and then I felt his lips on my neck. The kiss was soft and gentle. He spoke again. "You think, me such a horrible person, but you love me…" he kissed my neck a second time. "…I think, I hate you, for how you feel…" he opened his mouth and slid his tongue up the ridge of my ear. "…So I'm going to show what a relationship with me would be like." He then bit down on my ear lobe.
"Mmmnnhh!" I gave an uncomfortable groan. "I expect nothing from you, Zero." I said. He moved his hand from my chest sliding it over my chest, abdomens then to my belt.
"Oh, Kaname don't try fooling yourself, yes you do. You expect me to be mean and cruel to you! That's why you never told me. You were afraid I'd mock you and laugh in your face." his hand swiftly was working on undoing the belt. I tried wiggling my wrists out of his grip. He dug his nails into my skin.
"Zero, please—let's talk about this." I was saying anything now. Anything that might have the slightest chance of him letting me go. Disgraceful or not this was just getting dangerous.
"But there's nothing left to say, anyway actions speak louder than words." Then he thrust his hand down my jeans. My head jerked up as skin made contact with skin. I couldn't help, but throw my head back as he started to lightly trace his fingers up and down my length.
"Hhhmmmnn, oh this is going to be so bitter sweet." He whispered turning in to my neck. He nuzzled the spot with urgency.
I whimpered as he wrapped his long fingers around my manhood. "I didn't mean to upset you Zero. Please." My fear was growing. I was acting different than the me I knew. I was becoming Human almost! I was acting purely human.
"Too late." He hissed in my ear. He yanked his hand out of my pants and thrust me onto the bed. He pulled the shirt off in the same action. He held me down crawling up on the low bed, his knees on either side of me. He worked the buttons on his shirt all undone then I heard a thud as his shoes hit the floor he reached down and removed mine as well. He tore the socks off my feet and tossed them in the room somewhere. I heard a metallic clicking a second latter. I lifted my head from the mattress to crane my neck back to stare at him in shock…he didn't plan to? He took the handcuffs he had fished from his coat on the floor and opened them.
"Zero…" I whimpered. He looked up from his task to stare at me with cold lifeless eyes. He then looked back down adjusting the cuffs on my wrists tightly. He then locked them and put the key between his teeth. He flipped me a second latter taking the key out of his mouth and very visibly placing it on the dresser where I could see. He wanted me to know where it was he wanted me to know exactly where what little hope there was, was located at. The key was my way to a true fight something he wasn't going to let me have. This was his cruel game and he made the rules. Because of that all the rules simply acted in his favor.
He pushed me down roughly into the mattress and started at his own pants pulling the belt free then kicking the remains off. He pinned me down with his body and unbuttoned my pants before unzipping it and thrusting his hand back in. I groaned as he started stroking my member lightly. My body was starting to react to him. My breathing was coming so fast and hard as terror gripped me. He pulled his hand out again. This time to work the pants off my hips and on to the floor.
"Zero, no !" I pleaded. "Zero… please don't…I know your furious with me for not saying anything, but PLEASE!" he wasn't even fazed at this point. He said nothing, he heard nothing. He rubbed my genitals roughly with one of his hands, holding me down with the other.
Then what I had feared most about this night came rushing to me. I knew what Zero was doing really wasn't rape. It wasn't, because deep down he was right this is what I had ultimately wanted. To have him take me. He was doing it because he felt like it and that's what made him so beautiful. That's what really was what I wanted. He was tearing my heart in to little pieces of confetti and I loved it! Every second of I loved it and yet. I was scared. I was getting lost and I knew it. He was leaving me behind, burring me in the emotions I had forced down since the day I had first seen him.
Fear gripped me of a far larger creature holding me down in the same way. I was afraid of what he was doing. He was over powering me too fast. Half of me knew it was Zero thrusting his fingers inside me but the more dominate half just felt like it was a monster…I screamed and thrashed as the dark feeling of pure fear took over my senses. I couldn't control it now. I was getting lost too fast. I needed more time! I couldn't I couldn't process fast enough…Zero paid me almost no heed as he thrust into me. He was defiantly big, bigger than most. I let out a screech as he started to move. Fear like the kind I had never known before hurt me more though. It was relentless in its actions. The idea that I for once in my life had utterly lost all control over what was happening to me, was the absolute worst weapon he could have pulled on me.
"NO!" I screamed in to the night. Tears were streaming down my face. My eyes were wide. I felt cold. I felt lost. My body was shaking so hard my mind was a mess.
I was heaving as the tears streamed out of my eyes. Zero had stopped. Zero had stopped a long time ago. He was over me still inside of me his eyes searching my face frantically. I looked at him. He no longer had the stoic lifeless eyes of before. These eye were different these eyes were searching pools of light gray. They were the of a spirited silver soul. They were …the Zero I was in love with. He was still wearing his shirt, I noticed. I turned my face away from him. I let a sob break through. His hand gently touched my cheek. He rubbed the skin eagerly then turned my face to him. He pulled out slowly then thrust back in.
"Ahn!" I let out as he hit the small ball of nerves deep inside me. It wasn't harsh or rough, just sex. I opened my eyes after screaming again to focus on his. My breathing was loud and labored. He was silent as ever. He leaned in and nuzzled my neck just next to my jaw. I didn't turn away as he let out a passionate moan. He thrust again accompanied by my scream. He breathed lightly in my ear and then kissed the lobe ever so gently. He started thrusting again with care this time aiming for my prostate. They became faster and harder until finally—
"ARRRGGGGHHHHH!" my back like an electric current was run through it arced from the mattress and semen exploded over our stomachs as simultaneously his filled me. I dropped and he collapsed on top of me. I tried calming my panting as I felt his on my neck. I didn't want to close my eyes. The fear was still faintly there. I knew what just happened was totally the silver Adonis laying on me, but it was still there, the feeling of having my life ripped from me. Like someone may break me in two. So I stared up at the ceiling. I noticed now that neither of us had really turned on a light at all. The moon shone in through over the ocean, and into our room.
Zero moved then, he slowly got on his hands and knees, and pulled out. I groaned as his hot organ left me. He tenderly kissed my cheek and crawled off the bed. I watched him as he pulled the white shirt off and trudged into the bathroom. He flipped the light on and I heard the sound of water. I turned back to the ceiling as the sound shut off. Now was where he left me. Where he mocked me and left. I adjusted my arms underneath me trying to find a better position.
"That's probably getting uncomfortable isn't it?" my head shot over to look at him. All placid pale silver lined glory. He stood at the doorway. His sculpted muscles made me gulp at how much damage he might truly feel he needed to inflict upon me. My eyes ran over his body stopping at the tattoo printed at his neck. I never actually noticed that before. I didn't have time to examine it though, as he took a few steps forward. My reflexes reacted, and I flinched as he neared the bed. He had a wet washrag in his hand. He held it up for me to see.
"I won't hurt you, I promise." He said. I locked eyes with him for a brief second, before looking away. I was ashamed to be so vulnerable at the moment. He switched a lamp on next to the bed then sat on the edge of the bed and I felt the warm caress as he wiped the white liquid from my stomach. He leaned in and started kissing my neck softly. I involuntarily flinched as his hand moved lower with the washrag.
"It's okay." He said hushed and quickly after my flinch. "I'm just cleaning up the mess I made. You're fine." I swallowed and turned my head away closing my eyes. I felt the warm cloth cleaning my lower half thoroughly as Zero stopped adoring my neck to examine what he was doing, I guess. A minute later he stopped and pulled the cloth away. I glanced at it. It had red smeared on it. I shuddered and looked away. I watched the window as Zero stood and took the cloth in to the bathroom. I felt him a second latter on the bed, he gently pushed me up on to my side, and I heard a, click!
I let out a groan as my arms were allowed to move. I pulled them around to rub my raw wrists. Zero let me back onto my back. I didn't look at him I expected for this to be the moment. He'd kiss me on the cheek and leave just like that. Ha, some pureblood I was. Eaten down to nothing and all I could think about was worst case scenario..
Then his hand seized my chin and pulled me into a kiss. It wasn't like the kisses he gave my neck it was hard and passionate. He rolled to his back taking me with him as he forcefully dominated the kiss leaving me breathless. He dug underneath us producing the sheets as he kicked the comforter off the bed. My arms wrapped around his neck as he pulled the sheets over my shoulders. Then he spun us again tangling us together in the tight space. He rolled us around for several minutes before landing with me on my back. His broad shoulders towering over me his hand still firmly holding my jaw. He pressed me in to the mattress forcefully as the kiss got hotter. After a few more gasping minute he broke and collapsed on his back rolling off of me.
He was panting and so was I. He had his hand on my cheek having moved it as we broke to breath. He was looking over at me as I stared up at the ceiling. He ran the top of his knuckles over the soft skin of my face. He turned on his side and pulled me to him. I turned on my side to make him happy. I refused to make eye contact.
"Look at me?" he requested gently.
I refused turned my head more in to the pillow. He sighed and pulled me into his arms.
"alright." He said. He reached behind him and switched the lamp off. The light of the moon engulfed the room again. He turned back to me and kissed my lips softly. Then he snuggled into the sheets laid back on his back and closed his eyes. I watched him for several minutes before I slid forward whispering his name.
"Zero?" I asked urgently.
A broad smile stretched on his face as he answered. "Hmmm?"
I leaned closer and put my head on his shoulder snuggling into his warmth. "I'm cold." It was more of a demand than a statement but I was trying ever so hard ot gain some control back over his situation.
He cracked his eyes. He sat up sliding me off gently and pulled the comforter onto the bed spreading it out over us. Then he lay back down pulling my head back on his shoulder and wrapping his arms around me. "Better?" he asked. I nodded, curtly. He watched me this time as I snuggled into his tight chest. I refused to close my eyes. After several minutes I glanced up at him seeing he was still watching me I spoke again. "Zero?"I let my voice stay flat. The less emotion I invested in this the better.
He started to stroke my cheek with his fingertips. "Yes?"
I paused before speaking. "I—I love you."
A crooked smile blossomed. He kissed my lips softly. "I know, Kaname. Now go to sleep, please."
I made no such move as I wrapped an arm around his neck. I just stared up at him. He sighed. "Kaname…" he gruffed. " I'm going to be here when you wake up." He said it like it was an obvious point of fact.
"Promise?" I demanded of him.
He kissed my forehead and looked down into my eyes. "I promise."
I smiled and let my eyes close leaning my head on his shoulder.
When I woke it all felt like a dream then I felt the warm everlasting sun. It felt like a blanket throw over me. A blanket of warm comforting heat. I stretched and yawned before reaching for the tall pale Adonis—he wasn't. My hands searched the reaches of the bed frantically before my eyes flew open and I sat straight up. The room was empty. I was in bed alone. The view of the ocean was dazzling and the room was very nice. My clothes were still strewn about the place, but all those wonderful things reminded me of him. I pulled my knees up to my chin and felt the tears starting. He'd lied to me. I should have known. He was the one I loved. I knew he was a liar, con man, thief, he was, Zero. I looked out the large glass windows at the ocean. It was as reflecting back the light of the sun in white silver beams just like his eyes and sparkling with life. I let my head sink to my hands as I felt the emotion building again. He'd broken me down to this! A emotional bastard with no hope of getting back to who I was supposed to be.
"Ahh, god damn it!" my head jerked to the door to see him there. He was standing there in fresh cloths and our bags in his hand. He set them down and closed the door. I was frozen. It wasn't a bad surprise but I was totally caught off guard. He went to me and kissed me tenderly. Then leaned back and gave me an apologetic smile. "I was only going to be gone for a few minutes; I didn't think you'd wake."
I pursed my lips and nodded vaguely.
He stood there a bit awkwardly before crossing to the bed and sitting down. He leaned forward and I met him in between. The kiss wasn't anything special. No fireworks. No sparks. Just a kiss. No more than a kiss, a promise. The one thing I really wanted from him. A simple promise. A promise that burned in to each other's skin. Flaying thee flesh and going deep. Deeper than any bullet wound. The kiss continued scaring thee burns it caused on us and leaving solid marks. Marks of us both. Marks that evoked emotion… amazing amount of emotion. Such emotion that we could never forget each other. And more importantly held us together bound to each other. Bound to make each other fight like this for eons. Burns and scars the held us together with steel threads…he could never leave me now…ever…\
And there you have it! Tada! And for anyone who is wondering what happened to Yuuki, well I really don't care so uhm there…well hoped you liked.