Business As Usual
EgoBoosters
Rated: T
Disclaimer: Naruto most definitely does not belong to us.
Warnings: "inappropriate" language... and Flib's crappy writing
AN: Well, this is it. Our first collab. Wow.
Uchiha Sasuke weaved his way through the busy street, careful to keep his head bent, in case someone recognized him. It wasn't easy being filthy rich. There were so many little problems that slowly drove you insane, how to spend your legendary wealth being only a minor hindrance. Uchiha Sasuke had those problems, but he would privately admit that his biggest problem was unruly workers. One Uzumaki Naruto to be exact. His dark eyes dimly registered the gaggles of adults and teenagers that surrounded him. He wondered how many of their lives were affected by him, directly or indirectly.
He pushed through a crowd of people in front a tall, glass building with eerie beauty…as if it commanded you to admire it, while murmuring quiet excuse me's to anyone who protested. Reaching the main entrance, he nodded to the door attendant, who saluted briskly while opening the door.
The cozy warmth contrasted with chilly wind outside, and he felt his cheeks flush with blood. He took off his coat and handed it to a young lady at the front desk who smiled brightly at his arrival. He just nodded in return and walked towards his private elevator. Sasuke smiled slightly- it was the little things that made being rich worth it.
Mentally preparing himself for a fierce battle, he strode out of his plush elevator with an innate arrogance that was simply a part of who Uchiha Sasuke was. His hand was wrapped around the shiny doorknob to his office when he felt someone jab him violently. He didn't bother turning around, continuing to turn the knob and walking into his office, leaving the door open for his most bothersome employee.
Settling himself comfortably in his chair, Sasuke looked at his companion for the first time. "What is it this time, dobe?"
A man with golden hair and vibrant blue eyes leaned over Sasuke's neatly organized desk and scowled. "You. Are. A. Bastard."
"Yes, I think by the amount of times you say it to me every day, I might have realized it by now."
Studying the language of a dobe. A very interesting topic, when approached correctly in the appropriate enviroment. Sasuke leaned back in his chair and linked his fingers together.
"Look! You didn't have to fire Hinata!"
Angry Dobe was a more violent and emotional person than Normal Dobe. Naruto was waving his arms around which meant that he either needed to go to the toilet or felt like hitting someone (Naruto had a particular bastard in mind...)
"Dobe, getting fired is a part of life. I decide that I don't want someone working for me, and then they go. Deal with it."
"But she didn't do it!" Naruto yelled, which somehow made him look like a cross between a four-year-old and a cuddly toy.
It was adorable, unless you were Uchiha Sasuke.
"I know she didn't do it," Sasuke stated calmly, restraining the blonde idiot's arms so they didn't damage any more of his pristine workplace, his one haven of peace. "I know she didn't do it, because you did it."
The dobe's mouth opened and closed noiselessly, searching for an appropriate response. Fish Dobe, Sasuke decided to call this new expression, because it seemed relevant at this moment and time.
"Then why the-" Naruto began furiously before Sasuke cut him off smoothly.
"Because."
"That is not a bloody reason, Uchiha." All play had gone from Naruto's eyes- they seemed to give off an icy hatred.
"It is when you are the head of a multi-billion dollar corporation. Kindly leave before I make you sort through my fan mail. Again." Sasuke released his arms and Naruto swung them widely, overturning a picture frame and shattering a crystal figurine into thousands of pieces. He stormed out of Sasuke's office, slamming the door violently on his way out.
Sasuke leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath. He wasn't a bad person, really. As a kid, he had never done drugs, and old ladies called him a charming, young man. Turning his chair around, he opened a small refrigerator and pulled out a small bottle.
Hyuuga Hinata... He had liked her, a quiet, sweet girl always wanting to prove herself. She was his ideal type of employee. But she had faced too much pressure from her cousin, the president of Hyuuga Corporation, and Sasuke couldn't let her be torn by loyalties to her family and to her workplace.
He wasn't a bad person, really.
Still, it was for the better.
Even though it had been Naruto's fault that the figures in the board meeting report were wrong, Hinata had still taken blame for it.
It was to punish Naruto; so he would never do something as stupid as that again. If the Dobe crapped up in front of Sasuke's clients, then it would make Sasuke look bad.
Sasuke couldn't afford to look bad.
Because he wasn't a bad person…really.
Hinata was an example. Something to make Naruto feel guilty, so he would never play with excel sheets again.
He brought the container of expensive mineral water to his lips, and savoured the taste.
It was for the better, wasn't it?
It had worked out well. Naruto seemed sufficiently tamed, and Sasuke didn't have to spend his nights worrying whether Hinata was okay or not.
There was no use questioning his actions now. What was done was done.
And he had quite a bit of work to do. Sighing in resignation, he picked up his pen and was quickly distracted by it. It was a bright orange fountain pen with intricate red designs and the deepest blue ink he had ever seen. It was his favorite pen, and it didn't feel right signing papers with any other pen.
It was also the pen Naruto had given him for his past birthday, when he turned twenty-one. It was his favorite gift, and he had tried not to yell at the blonde too much in the following few weeks.
Speaking of birthdays, wasn't it getting close to someone's birthday? But whose...
He scowled suddenly, cursing Naruto for distracting him, even from two rooms away. He took a deep breath and prepared himself to do some actual work...
When his phone rang.
At this point, he felt like he was going to kill somebody. Most likely Kakashi. Because this was his private line and only a handful of people had the number. And of that handful, Hatake Kakashi was the only one... crazy? stupid? brave? enough to call it during working hours. He picked up the phone.
"Yo," started Kakashi, not waiting for Sasuke to say 'hello'. Not that Sasuke was going to say hello.
"..."
"Meet me at Lawrence's tonight at nine thirty." The older man had talked to Sasuke enough to consider his silences as replies.
"And why would I do that?"
"So we can celebrate Naruto's birthday, of course!" And Kakashi promptly hung up. Naruto was completely wrong…Sasuke wasn't the real bastard; he just looked like the evil guy.
So that's whose birthday it was...
...Naruto was going to be so pissy if he ever realised that Sasuke had forgotten.
He wouldn't actually put it past Kakashi to be listening in on his thoughts, and use this particular pondering as useful blackmail material for those nights when he wanted to be alone.
Well, since it happened to be Uzumaki's birthday, Sasuke decided that he may as well take a lunch break (who cared if it was ten o'clock, it would just have to be a brunch break) becaaaause...
He could do that.
Yep, what a wonderful excuse it was.
Tucking his prized pen into the concealed drawer within a drawer of his desk, he paced boldly out his office (Uchihas' could not, would not ever sink low enough to walk and be common).
When the elevator doors opened with a quiet whoosh, Sasuke appeared calm, cool, and collected to any casual observer. It would take an obervant eye to tell that Sasuke had been sitting on the floor with his back against the wall on the trip from his office to the lobby. And maybe a deep and intimate knowledge of him, which no one really had.
Exiting the warmth of the building, he was met with a biting wind and immediately wished that he had remembered to retrieve his jacket from his receptionist. He briefly thought about returning and getting it from her but dismissed that idea. That could be seen as a weakness, and he refused to have a weakness of any sort.
Smiling bitterly, he wondered what his parents would think of him, if they hadn't died in a plane crash. He thought he was doing pretty well, upholding the Uchiha traditions that seemed to be the basis of their lives. But sometimes... sometimes, he felt like he wasn't really living. He felt like his life was some extension of his father's. Sometimes, he just wanted to do something utterly out of character.
It was decided. He planned on getting completely and totally stoned at Naruto's birthday tonight...
"Naruto..." he murmured quietly, relishing the thought of a night free of all inhibitions.
"You called?" Sasuke never noticed the car coming up beside him. He frowned first at his inattention and then at the infuriatingly chipper blonde in the car. And for a third time when he recognized the car.
"Dobe. Why the hell are you in, much less driving, my car?"
"Sakura was worried about you for some odd reason. So she told me to make sure you weren't going to drown yourself in the river or jump off a building or something and I saw your keys. And that, our tragic hero, is why I am here."
"Fuck off." He felt inexplicably pissed.
Naruto looked considerably shocked.
Uchihas never swore.
It was against their prissy, bastard-like lifestyle. It was comparable to... the coming of the Apocalyspe. Or...Sakura saying that her hair wasn't pink!
"Look, I was told by Sakura--" Naruto started.
"I don't give a damn about whatever Sakura told you. Listen to what I tell you. I don't need you to chauffeur me around. I'm perfectly fine."
"Perfectly fine!" Naruto retorted, blue eyes flashing with anger. "Who are you kidding? You don't look fine! You look like shit, as far as I'm concerned! Take a look in the mirror, bastard, because you're sure as hell not going anywhere dressed like that."
"I don't need some fucked-up moron of an employee of mine with a mouth too big for his own good telling me how I should or shouldn't look. Especially when the said moron has no fucking room to talk!" Forget about waiting till the party to let go of his inhibitions. Sasuke hadn't felt so free in a very long time as he did right now, uttering obscenities liberally. There was just something liberating about anger and screaming and profanity.
"Forgive me for bloody caring about someone. I had forgotten human emotion is a foreign concept to a bastard like you." Naruto had gotten out of the vehicle and slammed the door shut with an ominous thud. Sasuke had winced at the noise, fearing for his precious car even through his anger.
The two faced each other on the sidewalk, not very far from circling each other like hyenas trying to claim the lions' kill. They were surrounded by a tense silence, one which neither was willing to break first. Naruto made the first move, swinging his fist to meet Sasuke's face only to be caught in a tight grasp. Sasuke pulled Naruto closer to him, and blue eyes met black.
"I'm not going to care about a bloody idiot like you!" Sasuke uttered lowly, more effective than any screaming, not really caring anymore. "You just think that you're a fucking hero, don't you?"
Naruto started laughing, the sound echoing in the empty street. "A fucking hero, am I? Tell me, noun or verb?"
Sasuke first looked horrified upon realizing what Naruto had meant, releasing his hold on Naruto's hands and pushing him away.
"Noun. NOUN...I didn't mean it that way, you... you pervert!" he said.
"Me? A pervert? Never!" Naruto paused, looking thoughtful and rectified his statement. "Well, probably yeah. What about it? Can you imagine how boring sex would be without perverts?" He grinned mischievously before adding the final blow. "I mean, just in and out and in and out, over and over again."
Sasuke refused to acknowledge the dobe's comment with a blush -– he simply refused to! Uchihas did not blush and -– oh, God, that was a blush, wasn't it? And what was Naruto trying to mime with his hands...
He groaned at Naruto's smirk, knowing that the blonde was currently having the time of his life.
"Remind me to drop a couple of zeroes off your paycheck." Naruto stopped his lewd movements suddenly. "Salary jokes are not funny," he announced.
"Oh, Naruto-kun, whoever said anything about a joke?" replied Sasuke, pleases that he had regained control of the situation. Smoothly and with the unexpected skill of a master pickpocket, he grabbed his car keys out of Naruto's jacket. Sasuke was already in his car before Naruto realized the keys were missing. He watched helplessly as Sasuke sped off.
Damn him. He sprinted after the car, glad that he had once again disobeyed one of the Five Uchiha Heavenly Work Attire Rules and worn sneakers. Soon, he caught sight of the car waiting idly at a stop sign. He hastened his speed and grabbed onto the door handle of passenger seat. Naruto only had one foot in the car when Sasuke decided it was time to drive again. Swearing loudly, Naruto pulled himself in the car and shut the door.
"You are so mean." Naruto pouted, and then gave up when Sasuke's unwavering stare didn't look away to his puppy eyes.
"I booked a table." The dark-haired man said, as he sped through the conveniently green light. It seemed to be some mystic power that only Sasuke was worthy to possess; it was as if the traffic disappeared whenever they entered within a fifty-metre radius of his car and the lights were stuck on one colour.
It happened again, proving his theory.
Naruto thought of the hour he had spent in a traffic jam on the way to work this morning.
Ouch. It wasn't fair, dammit!
"Eh?" The blonde questioned.
"For your birthday. I booked a table at Lawrence's."
"You?" He paused for emphasis." You? YOU booked a table at the most expensive restaurant in the entire flippin' city for my, and I repeat, MY, birthday?" Naruto's face clearly showed his disbelief.
Well, no, not quite. But I'll be the one paying for it, so the minor technicalities don't really matter... "Yes," he replied succinctly.
"Oh. Well... ah... thanks!"
"You'll be staying at work, finishing all the month-old reports you have, gathering dust on that piece of crap you call a desk." He waited for Naruto's groan of despair before he continued. "Which, I believe, are due tomorrow."
"Why the hell do you always drive so damn slowly?! I have to get to work, bastard!"
Of course, they're actually due next week, but he doesn't need to know that. Like he doesn't need to know I forgot his birthday. Besides, a little motivation to work never hurt anybody.
"Stop daydreaming and drive faster!"
Naruto's new found enthusiasm was good, it meant that at least half of the stuff he was supposed to being doing would be somewhat finished (instead of spending work on a permanent break in which he went down to the arcade and wasted his money).
Sometimes, Sasuke wondered what he had been high on when he had agreed to hire Naruto. It was at those times that he conveniently forgot that Naruto was actually a brilliant businessman, even despite his reluctance to do anything productive, that Naruto was one of his best employees, that Naruto had been there since he had started his very first business…that Naruto had alwaysbeen there, no matter what.
He turned into the office garage and drove straight into his reserved parking spot.
"You're here. Now go to work."
"I'm going, I'm going." The blond moved lethargically, unwilling to do the work now that it was in front of him.
Sasuke followed him through the employee entrance, poking Naruto in the small of the back periodically to keep him moving. Sasuke stayed behind him all the way to the top floor, where they parted ways.
"I expect all of your reports typed and on my desk by eight this evening. And if they're not, you won't being going to your birthday party. You'll be here, while all of your friends get drunk on the expensive wine that was meant for you and stuff their faces on your birthday cake. In fact, I think I'll take the first piece."
"You can't stop me from going to my own birthday party, bastard! I'm old enough to be able to drive!"
"Pity you aren't tall enough," murmured Sasuke under his breath, but Naruto still scowled angrily. Louder, Sasuke continued, "Not when you don't have your car keys, dobe." He waited for Naruto to start patting his suit frantically before he pulled a key chain with a single bright orange-coloured key dangling from it.
"You took my keys!" cried Naruto, briefly remembering when Sasuke had taken his keys earlier. Apparently, Sasuke had taken more than his own keys. In fact, who knows if his wallet was gone as well…and what if Sasuke had stolen Naruto's supply of mint-flavoured Tic Tacs? Naruto couldn't survive without them! And what if Sasuke lost his car keys!
"Be thankful it was me who took it, not an actual thief. There are better pickpockets than I." He just called himself a pickpocket, didn't he?
Well, he had always considered pickpocketing one of his more interesting talents.
Naruto looked at him sourly. And the grudge was going to last for weeks. Naruto had gone deranged about the large chocolate Labrador that had come bounding up behind him last Christmas, because apparently it 'made him let go of his balloon'. And the orange, helium-filled balloon was still drifting along the stratosphere and according to Naruto it was 'lonely'. Not even the compensation of three new orange balloons could make Naruto forget the rubber container.
When Naruto hated you, he hated you for a long, long, long time.
Let's see…he was still sore about the Hinata thing, and that moment where Sasuke made him watch the video that the crazy fangirl sent to the Uchiha address, plus the overload of paperwork, and the coffee machine thing, and when Sasuke bodily removed him from the Twilight Renaissance PS3 game which would cost him a fortune…
All this added up to one fact:
Sasuke was not forgiven. And more than likely, would not be forgiven.
At least, not without considerable bribes.