Note: Hello everyone! This is my first fanfic. Be nice, please! ;D

Btw, this is boyxboy so don't like, don't read.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1

Naruto's unlucky heart

Sometimes, desperation is like freezing ice for vulnerable souls, crowded by dark shadows of sorrow.

It was winter in Konoha. But in spite of the low temperatures, Naruto was standing barefoot in front of a big chasm.

It was the chasm in which Jiraiya had thrown him, many years ago.

Back then, he had been able to survive only because of the Kyuubi, sealed away deep inside of his body. But this time, it would be different.

He would not call his demonic powers. He'd go voluntary. Because he felt this deep, inner desperation, which had clung itself to his heart with it's ice-cold, nasty fingers.

The last encounter with Sasuke he'd had a few days ago. Repeatedly he had failed to bring him back to the village. Home.

He had failed everyone, Sakura... But most of all he had failed himself. Many years he had lived with the dolorous loss of the raven. And now, he wanted to bring an end to it.

His hope and will had left him like the birds had left Konoha to spend the winter in warmer areas, southward.

His breath painted white, fine clouds into the cold air. He shivered. The linen shirt and simple trousers, thin as the pages of a book, weren't that suited to protect him against the cold air.

But it was a comfortable way of dressing. Like you were going to sleep.

In fact, I'm going to sleep. Only that I'm not going to wake anymore. Naruto thought.

He stepped so near to the mighty hole, his toes already were crossing the border between land and emptiness.

He noticed the tremble in his body while he moved. Not caused by fear but by the exhaustion of training and his last fight with Sasuke.

It had left him with several deep wounds and above all weakened. He took a last glance of the well-known landscape of Konoha. It had surrounded him since more than 16 years now...

The others would be fine. He had left them goodbye-letters. Maybe they would be surprised, since he was always carefully enough to hide his sadness and aspiration behind the mask of the always positive thinking shinobi.

But it's not like that. I'm not like that... I'm so tired...

He took a last, deep breath. Then, he spread his arms.

Sleep. He thought, assuaged.

Dropping down forwards, his eyes lightly closed, he had the comfortable feeling that soon, all pain would be over. He prepared himself for the tickling sensation of falling.

But he'd never fall.

Suddenly, two strong arms were wrapped around his chest, pulling him backwards. Instinctively he started struggling in trying to free him of the iron grip, but it was no use.

Just as well he could have been trying to shake off a bench vice clasping around his body.

They must have found the letters too early. Most probably it is Kakashi, since I've left his letter right on his bed... Maybe he has returned earlier from his last mission...

"Kakashi, listen, I..." He tried to turn his head, but a hand quickly closed about his chin and neck, making it impossible for him to catch a glimpse of his attackers face.

"...I can explain everything, just let go of me, would you?" Displeased, Naruto looked down at the pale hands that restrained him.

And then, the realization struck him like a blow in his face. These hands... Hands he knew so well. The pale, slim fingers.

This was definitely not Kakashi.

He stood paralyzed of shock, unable to make even the slightest move.

Sasuke gave a chuckle. "It looks like you've realized by now that I'm not Kakashi."

He brought his mouth to one side of Naruto's head. "Do you want to kill yourself, Naruto?"

The blonde could feel his warm breath and lips whispering against his ear. His voice sounded deep as he spoke. The heat of Sasuke's respiration let him shiver unintentionally.

Somewhere in his stomach, a well-known, tickling feeling began to raise. The feeling he always had got when their bodies accidentally had touched, or when his face had crossed his mind...

The dark, deep eyes, full of secrets, never willing to share. The sweet smell of his skin.

How many times had he imagined them standing like this, Sasuke pressing him against his body, his tender voice against his ear...

But he had given up those pictures as best as he could, seeing the truth behind the encounters of fight. Which had ended every time fatally for him.

By the time, he had admitted to himself that he was in love with Sasuke. A love, a desire, so strong it had destroyed and left him broken in the end.

Sasuke's voice went on. "Why don't you give yourself to me, instead? Wouldn't you prefer warming up that cold body rather than die?"

The ravens left hand stroke from the Naruto's upper chest down to his waist.

The sensation in his stomach began to move again, this time intense that a sound of surprise slipped through his lips.

He immediately regretted it, as the raven laughed a teasing laugh and pressed his slender body stronger against the blonde's.

"Your skin is as cold as ice... I can feel it through your clothes... So thin..." Sasuke's hand wandered deeper.

No. With an incredible expenditure of energy he freed himself of the other man's grip and spun around, at the same time backing away.

"Are you out of your mind?"

With an amused face Sasuke looked at him, his head slightly cocked to the right.

"What's the matter? Are you shy?"

Naruto frowned. "I don't know what game you are playing. You are well aware of the fact that, if we'd start a fight now, you're going to win the match.

You left my body crushed. My body and my soul. He thought by himself.

The raven remained silent.

So he went on. "Look, I know there is no way of bringing you back to the village. Maybe there never was. But the thing is that I now have… fulfilled the sense of my life. Or let's put it like this… I've tried, but failed."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "You're saying I am the sense of your life?"

Naruto stared at his former comrade. Sasuke was right, he noticed bewildered. He had dedicated his life to the search of his friend. And now there was nothing left of it for himself.

Stupid Sasuke… I fought for you. For the bond that once existed and tied us together. Why are you the way you are? Why can't I hate you?

Aloud he said. "I… I am going to die either way, right?" He shrugged his shoulders. "Through your hands or trough my own. What does it matter? I feel like I'm dying every damn day." He paused.

Then he went on, his voice hardly as loud as a whisper. "You are killing me every day, Sasuke. You don't know this feeling. My aspiration… The longing for you." He smiled, sadly.

"They say that love is one of the most amazing emotions. But the truth is that it can do both, heal and let suffer, build and destroy. This love I feel for you is horrible… It doesn't matter how hard I try to prevent it, it's just unavoidable."

He locked on to Sasuke's gaze. "I can't bear it anymore."

Sasuke folded his arms in front of his chest. "Well, that has been quite a love confession just now."

TO BE CONTINUED!