"Meant to be.."
She slipped, completely free of pain as she had been feeling for minutes. She knew death was upon her, she didn't fear it but was most certainly sad. Sad because Mark was not with her, although if he was that would leave Sofia without a father and that would be unbearable. The young women tried to use her voice, she needed to come completely to terms with the fact she was… dead. "I Lexie Grey am dead." The words stung more than she had ever expected them to, a lot more.
"Lexie?"
The young women turned around fearful and confused, unsure of the familiar voice.
"Lex, it's me."
Lexie new the voice and new it well, and it was not as comforting as she thought it would be.. Putting the face to the voice in her head. Even in death she still had photographic memory, what good would that do for her now? Turing around Lexie acknowledged the voice, "Hey George, how it going.?"
"Hey Lexie, we can worry about how I am later, the better question for right now is do you know where you are?"
As she thought about it Lexie began observing all that was around her in the few minutes she had been here finding out where she was did not occur to her. The ground was slick and black no other hues of colour on the floor. The walls were non-existent as she turned in a full circle she realized all around her was blank, never ending and empty and grey except for the floor. She looked directly above her to see that there was a roof it was slick also but this time was white. "No, I have no clue.."
George looked at her with a look of understanding, "This is limbo and you can't stay here for long. You must choose up or down." As the words left his mouth a small trap door formed a mere metre from Lexie's feet at the same time a crystal staircase appeared like some sort of magic show. It lead to the same type of trap door only this time it was in the roof. Where did they lead? Lexie pondered but was not prepared to choose without knowing what they would lead to, the inner surgeon in her she assumed. You wouldn't treat a patient without all the facts so why make decision as huge as she assumed this was without every ounce of information she could get her hands on.
"Where do they lead? Can you tell me?"
George stared at her certain she already knew, "I assumed you would guess."
"Well apparently not, I have no idea what is behind them.. Can you please just tell me." Lexie's voice was strained in frustration already.
"From what I know down leads back to Earth."
"So I can live? If I knew that I would have been out the door in seconds!" Lexie interrupted and started reaching to for the door.
"NO!" George bellowed with stress in his voice, "Lex that's not how it works, down to Earth does not mean alive, it means ghost. It means you haunting the ones you love or walking alone with only your memories. Observing your love ones living and moving on, then eventually watching them wither and die. Then see new generations continuously for what I assume is eternity. Can you handle that?"
Lexie knew that she wouldn't be able to handle it. She couldn't watch Mark did, or Meredith or any of her other friends or I suppose family. I mean that's what they were. At Seattle Grace Mercy (DEATH ehm) West they were family. "No. what's my other choice?" She looked at George, already working it out. "It's Heaven up there isn't it?"
"Something like that, it's what I chose, it's beautiful Lexie. It peaceful and you can still chose to watch everyone you loves life but you don't have to."
"Do we get to do surgery up there?" Lexie knew it was stupid question.. I mean she was dead, how could surgery still be on her mind?
"Yes."
"WHAT?!" Confusion etched upon Lexie face. Heaven would probably be the better choice she could still watch baby Zola and Sofia grow up, and make sure Mark is okay, Meredith and Derrick, Alex, Jackson…. She could make sure they were all okay and still get to be a surgeon. She could watch and hope that she wouldn't have to see them up here with her for a very long time. Yet for some reason she felt a pull towards the door next to her feet.
"Lexie you still get to do surgeries, every time a person comes in with a brain tumour or trauma from a car accident or a gunshot we get to save them up here and even if we don't they are already dead so they just come back healed anyway but it still gives us a chance."
"That seems pointless but none-the-less it's all too good to be true.. So what's the catch?" Nothing in life ever came easy for her and her family she knew there had to be a catch.
"I can't tell you that." He gave his old roommate a look of sorrow, "But I love it up there and I know you will to. "
Fear surged through the young surgeons veins as she realized it must be sad or uncomfortable entering the upper door. Was it worth it? Pain on Earth for the rest of time or unknown amount of pain then possible happiness? Either way she wouldn't get Mark, she wouldn't have the love of her life back. Lexie Grey was not the girl who jumped in without knowing. She never was and never had been, that was Meredith. But Lexie had also never enjoyed pain, getting sutures for practise with fellow interns didn't really count.. But.. She was already dead so why not try something new.
Lexie gave George one last look, "I missed you George, and I hope I see you soon." She whispered before ascending the staircase and pulling the hatch open and stepping inside with eyes closed tight.
Seconds later she felt a familiar pain searing through her body.