Newsgroups: alt.tv.buffy-v-slayer.creative
Subject: FIC: Change is Good, Sometimes - PG-13 - X/H - (1/1)
Date: Sat, 19 Jan 2002 11:43:17 +0000 (UTC)
Title: Change is Good, Sometimes
Author: Nick Kean
Email: buffy@beast.gen.nz
Feedback: Always welcome - be gentle
Summary: Xander runs into Harmony late one night.
Rating: PG-13 (Themes)
Spoilers: Set sometime early in season 6
Archiving: Yeah, go for it. Let me know where, 'k?
Disclaimer: The characters and universe herein are the property
of Joss Whedon, Warner Brothers Network, 20th Century Fox,
Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, Kuzui, and Greenwolf Productions.
The piece of fan-written fiction below does not intend to
infringe upon copyright or trademark.
Scene: Harmony has setup a trap to make capturing victims easier.
Xander wonders along and suddenly nets drop on top of him, ropes
ensnare him, etc.
Xander
(yelling v. loudly)
What! Argh! Get me out of here!
Harmony
(walking over)
Oh shut up already. Why do they always have to be so loud?
Xander? Is that you?
Xander
Harmony? Help me out of here will ya. Looks like some
werewolf hunters have been laying traps again. It's not even
full moon. Morons.
Harmony
It's not for werewolves, idiot; It's for people. It's a
minion trap. And I'm not going to let you out. I'm going to
make you my slave. You and about 20 others. I think 20 should
be enough, I've not decided on the exact number yet.
Xander
(suppressing a laugh)
So you think that controlling a whole bunch of vamps will be
easier than handling just a few? And you think that turning a
very close friend of the slayer is a good way of not becoming
lunch for a dustbuster? Just let me out.
Harmony
Oh all right! No need to whine about it.
(she cuts him free, brushing dirt)
(from his arms and chest)
You've been working out.
Xander
Well construction work does have it's advantages. The fresh
air, the heavy lifting ....
(Harmony moves to kiss Xander)
Hey! What are you are doing?
Harmony
I'm trying to kiss you. What are you, slow?
(moves in to try again)
Xander
(pushing her back)
Lets back up the 'Girl Interrupted' bus for a minute here. Why
are you trying to kiss me?
Harmony
(pouty, confused)
You don't think I'm attractive?
Xander
Sure, you're attractive in a kind of Shania Twain / Late Night
Weather Girl kind of way but here's the think see .. you're
evil! Creature of the night. You know? Killing people? Not
really a big turn on for me. You're just not my type.
Harmony
"Not your type"? That just ... racist. You're a racist and I
wouldn't want to kiss you anyway.
(Sits down, starts crying)
I can't do anything right. I thought being a vampire was going
to be easy - sleep all day, party all night, eat all the people
at the party, you know ... fun stuff. I haven't been able to
kill anyone in ages. All my evil plans suck. At least Spike
and Angel have excuses for not killing but what about me? Why
can't I be bad? Because I suck, that's why.
Now and then, when I get depressed, I think how much it was
easier when I was alive. At least I fitted in then.
Xander
(Xander sits beside her)
If you miss being human so much, why the trap and the turning
people? I don't imagine that you were putting another gang
together to raise money for charity.
Harmony
I don't know. I just thought that it would be easier to attack
your little Scooby gang if there was a whole bunch of vamps.
Xander
Attack us? Remind me why I'm not staking you?
Harmony
(ignoring his comment)
I've never been by myself before. It's lonely. I went to see
Cordelia in LA, just to catch up, you know? She was my best
friend and you know what she did? She kicked me out of town.
I even tried being good but I screwed that up as well. Can't be
good, can't be evil, can't be anything except miserable.
Xander
It's been a long time since high school, you know? People
change. You've changed most of all.
Harmony
And whose fault is that? Did I ask to become a vampire? No. I
never even wanted to be part of your big graduation battle
thing. But everyone else was going along with it so I did to.
If I'd known what was really going to happen, I would have gone
shopping instead. But no, you had to make us all fight that big
snake thing and I got killed. Thanks a bunch.
Xander
Look, I'm sorry you died. A lot of really nice people died and I
wish they hadn't but what we all did that day was the right
thing to do. If everyone had stayed at home or gone shopping or
done anything but fight back, where do you think we'd be today?
Some things are worth dying for.
Harmony
That's easy for you to say. None of your little gang got
killed, did they? You got what you wanted and moved on. Well I
can't. I'm a vampire and I'm not even a very good one. It's
not fair.
Xander
No. I guess it's not.
So what now? I don't really feel like fighting you but I don't
think I like the idea of you going round recruiting for the next
"Harmony Gang" either.
Harmony
Yeah, right. Like you could stop me.
We could always, you know, go back to your place?
Xander
I really don't think so. What's with the sudden interest in me
anyway? You completely disowned Cordy when we got together and
you've never shown me any feeling other than a deep and profound
loathing.
Harmony
You really are stupid aren't you?
Xander
Gee, you really know how to win a guy over, don't you.
Harmony
(eyes down, talking at the ground)
I've always liked you Xander. I was hash to Cordelia because
... I was jealous. All those years I was mean to Willow; ditto.
That time in 9th grade when I stole your gym clothes and hid
them in my locker - I hoped you'd find them and figure out how I
felt.
Xander
That was you? You might have returned them. I had to pay for
a new set myself you know. Why would I have ever look in your
locker for them anyway?
Harmony
I'm sorry. How was I to know you'd not be able to put two and
two together?
Xander
Math - never my best subject.
Harm, why are you telling me all this now? You do know that I'm
engaged don't you?
Harmony
To a demon.
Xander
Ex-demon.
Harmony
Same difference. I figured that you might go for me now - what
with that mummy girl and that bug lady and now a demon. Is it
such a big jump to have feelings for a vampire?
Xander
First of all, I didn't know Ampata was a mummy. Second of all,
I didn't know Miss French was a giant preying mantis. And
third of all, I do know you're a vampire and even if I didn't,
I'd still know that you're a Harmony.
Harmony
(sighs)
I didn't think it work out. Had to give it a shot though.
Barry thought I should get my feelings out in the open if I was
going to take the next step.
Xander
Barry?
Harmony
My therapist.
Xander
There are therapists for vampires?
Harmony
I found him in LA. They have therapy for everybody there.
It's probally illegal to not be in therapy.
Xander
So what's this "next step" thing then?
Harmony
Oh that? I'm going to kill myself.
Xander
What?
Harmony
Well not actually "kill myself" kill myself. That would just
be icky. I was going to get together a bunch of vamps, attack
the Buffy and she would kill us all. Barry called it "suicide
by proxy". It's supposed to be very therapeutic. But I don't
want to do that anymore. I want you to kill me.
Xander
Again with the "What?"
Harmony
Originally, I wanted to go out in a big blaze of glory, you
know? A whole bunch of vampires, with me as their leader,
fighting you Scoobies and eventually you'd kill us. Years
later you'd all be sitting round reminiscing about it -
(Bad Buffy imitation) "Remember the day we finally managed to
kill Harmony and her evil gang?"
(Bad Xander voice) "That sure was some battle."
(Bad Buffy voice) "She almost beat us, that's for sure."
But I don't want that now. I want you to kill me and I want
something else as well.
Xander
You're not coming back to my apartment.
Harmony
Not that. I want you to promise me you'll never tell anyone you
did it. I want people to think I'm still out there somewhere,
just waiting for the right time to come back and kill them all.
I want to be remembered. If people think I'm dusty, they'll
forget me and that would be worse then being miserable. Will
you do it?
Xander
And if I don't?
Harmony
Then I'll try to kill as many people as I can and it'll be all
your fault.
Xander
Figured you say that. Looks like I don't have much of a choice
then do I?
Harmony
And the other part? You won't tell anyone?
Xander
I promise that you'll be remembered - especially by me.
(they stand up)
How do you want to do this then? Stake? Holy water?
Decapitation? Push you into sunlight? It's lady's choice.
Harmony
I don't know. I never really thought that far. I guess ...
stake?
Xander
Then stake it is. And like any good member of the Scooby gang,
I just happen to have one on me.
Harmony
Ok. Good. Is it clean?
Xander
Does it matter?
Harmony
I guess not. Ok, lets go. Do it.
Xander
Ok.
Harmony
(waiting)
Well?
Xander
I can't.
Harmony
You promised!
Xander
I know but I can't just stake you if you're standing there
wanting me to. It's weird.
Harmony
(she vamps out)
Is this better?
Xander
Yeah ... a little.
Harmony
Would it be easier if I attacked you?
Xander
Maybe.
Harmony
Ok. Here goes. And Xander ...
Xander
Yeah?
Harmony
Thanks.
Harmony rushes at Xander and he stakes her through the heart.
Fade to black.
Subject: FIC: Change is Good, Sometimes - PG-13 - X/H - (1/1)
Date: Sat, 19 Jan 2002 11:43:17 +0000 (UTC)
Title: Change is Good, Sometimes
Author: Nick Kean
Email: buffy@beast.gen.nz
Feedback: Always welcome - be gentle
Summary: Xander runs into Harmony late one night.
Rating: PG-13 (Themes)
Spoilers: Set sometime early in season 6
Archiving: Yeah, go for it. Let me know where, 'k?
Disclaimer: The characters and universe herein are the property
of Joss Whedon, Warner Brothers Network, 20th Century Fox,
Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, Kuzui, and Greenwolf Productions.
The piece of fan-written fiction below does not intend to
infringe upon copyright or trademark.
Scene: Harmony has setup a trap to make capturing victims easier.
Xander wonders along and suddenly nets drop on top of him, ropes
ensnare him, etc.
Xander
(yelling v. loudly)
What! Argh! Get me out of here!
Harmony
(walking over)
Oh shut up already. Why do they always have to be so loud?
Xander? Is that you?
Xander
Harmony? Help me out of here will ya. Looks like some
werewolf hunters have been laying traps again. It's not even
full moon. Morons.
Harmony
It's not for werewolves, idiot; It's for people. It's a
minion trap. And I'm not going to let you out. I'm going to
make you my slave. You and about 20 others. I think 20 should
be enough, I've not decided on the exact number yet.
Xander
(suppressing a laugh)
So you think that controlling a whole bunch of vamps will be
easier than handling just a few? And you think that turning a
very close friend of the slayer is a good way of not becoming
lunch for a dustbuster? Just let me out.
Harmony
Oh all right! No need to whine about it.
(she cuts him free, brushing dirt)
(from his arms and chest)
You've been working out.
Xander
Well construction work does have it's advantages. The fresh
air, the heavy lifting ....
(Harmony moves to kiss Xander)
Hey! What are you are doing?
Harmony
I'm trying to kiss you. What are you, slow?
(moves in to try again)
Xander
(pushing her back)
Lets back up the 'Girl Interrupted' bus for a minute here. Why
are you trying to kiss me?
Harmony
(pouty, confused)
You don't think I'm attractive?
Xander
Sure, you're attractive in a kind of Shania Twain / Late Night
Weather Girl kind of way but here's the think see .. you're
evil! Creature of the night. You know? Killing people? Not
really a big turn on for me. You're just not my type.
Harmony
"Not your type"? That just ... racist. You're a racist and I
wouldn't want to kiss you anyway.
(Sits down, starts crying)
I can't do anything right. I thought being a vampire was going
to be easy - sleep all day, party all night, eat all the people
at the party, you know ... fun stuff. I haven't been able to
kill anyone in ages. All my evil plans suck. At least Spike
and Angel have excuses for not killing but what about me? Why
can't I be bad? Because I suck, that's why.
Now and then, when I get depressed, I think how much it was
easier when I was alive. At least I fitted in then.
Xander
(Xander sits beside her)
If you miss being human so much, why the trap and the turning
people? I don't imagine that you were putting another gang
together to raise money for charity.
Harmony
I don't know. I just thought that it would be easier to attack
your little Scooby gang if there was a whole bunch of vamps.
Xander
Attack us? Remind me why I'm not staking you?
Harmony
(ignoring his comment)
I've never been by myself before. It's lonely. I went to see
Cordelia in LA, just to catch up, you know? She was my best
friend and you know what she did? She kicked me out of town.
I even tried being good but I screwed that up as well. Can't be
good, can't be evil, can't be anything except miserable.
Xander
It's been a long time since high school, you know? People
change. You've changed most of all.
Harmony
And whose fault is that? Did I ask to become a vampire? No. I
never even wanted to be part of your big graduation battle
thing. But everyone else was going along with it so I did to.
If I'd known what was really going to happen, I would have gone
shopping instead. But no, you had to make us all fight that big
snake thing and I got killed. Thanks a bunch.
Xander
Look, I'm sorry you died. A lot of really nice people died and I
wish they hadn't but what we all did that day was the right
thing to do. If everyone had stayed at home or gone shopping or
done anything but fight back, where do you think we'd be today?
Some things are worth dying for.
Harmony
That's easy for you to say. None of your little gang got
killed, did they? You got what you wanted and moved on. Well I
can't. I'm a vampire and I'm not even a very good one. It's
not fair.
Xander
No. I guess it's not.
So what now? I don't really feel like fighting you but I don't
think I like the idea of you going round recruiting for the next
"Harmony Gang" either.
Harmony
Yeah, right. Like you could stop me.
We could always, you know, go back to your place?
Xander
I really don't think so. What's with the sudden interest in me
anyway? You completely disowned Cordy when we got together and
you've never shown me any feeling other than a deep and profound
loathing.
Harmony
You really are stupid aren't you?
Xander
Gee, you really know how to win a guy over, don't you.
Harmony
(eyes down, talking at the ground)
I've always liked you Xander. I was hash to Cordelia because
... I was jealous. All those years I was mean to Willow; ditto.
That time in 9th grade when I stole your gym clothes and hid
them in my locker - I hoped you'd find them and figure out how I
felt.
Xander
That was you? You might have returned them. I had to pay for
a new set myself you know. Why would I have ever look in your
locker for them anyway?
Harmony
I'm sorry. How was I to know you'd not be able to put two and
two together?
Xander
Math - never my best subject.
Harm, why are you telling me all this now? You do know that I'm
engaged don't you?
Harmony
To a demon.
Xander
Ex-demon.
Harmony
Same difference. I figured that you might go for me now - what
with that mummy girl and that bug lady and now a demon. Is it
such a big jump to have feelings for a vampire?
Xander
First of all, I didn't know Ampata was a mummy. Second of all,
I didn't know Miss French was a giant preying mantis. And
third of all, I do know you're a vampire and even if I didn't,
I'd still know that you're a Harmony.
Harmony
(sighs)
I didn't think it work out. Had to give it a shot though.
Barry thought I should get my feelings out in the open if I was
going to take the next step.
Xander
Barry?
Harmony
My therapist.
Xander
There are therapists for vampires?
Harmony
I found him in LA. They have therapy for everybody there.
It's probally illegal to not be in therapy.
Xander
So what's this "next step" thing then?
Harmony
Oh that? I'm going to kill myself.
Xander
What?
Harmony
Well not actually "kill myself" kill myself. That would just
be icky. I was going to get together a bunch of vamps, attack
the Buffy and she would kill us all. Barry called it "suicide
by proxy". It's supposed to be very therapeutic. But I don't
want to do that anymore. I want you to kill me.
Xander
Again with the "What?"
Harmony
Originally, I wanted to go out in a big blaze of glory, you
know? A whole bunch of vampires, with me as their leader,
fighting you Scoobies and eventually you'd kill us. Years
later you'd all be sitting round reminiscing about it -
(Bad Buffy imitation) "Remember the day we finally managed to
kill Harmony and her evil gang?"
(Bad Xander voice) "That sure was some battle."
(Bad Buffy voice) "She almost beat us, that's for sure."
But I don't want that now. I want you to kill me and I want
something else as well.
Xander
You're not coming back to my apartment.
Harmony
Not that. I want you to promise me you'll never tell anyone you
did it. I want people to think I'm still out there somewhere,
just waiting for the right time to come back and kill them all.
I want to be remembered. If people think I'm dusty, they'll
forget me and that would be worse then being miserable. Will
you do it?
Xander
And if I don't?
Harmony
Then I'll try to kill as many people as I can and it'll be all
your fault.
Xander
Figured you say that. Looks like I don't have much of a choice
then do I?
Harmony
And the other part? You won't tell anyone?
Xander
I promise that you'll be remembered - especially by me.
(they stand up)
How do you want to do this then? Stake? Holy water?
Decapitation? Push you into sunlight? It's lady's choice.
Harmony
I don't know. I never really thought that far. I guess ...
stake?
Xander
Then stake it is. And like any good member of the Scooby gang,
I just happen to have one on me.
Harmony
Ok. Good. Is it clean?
Xander
Does it matter?
Harmony
I guess not. Ok, lets go. Do it.
Xander
Ok.
Harmony
(waiting)
Well?
Xander
I can't.
Harmony
You promised!
Xander
I know but I can't just stake you if you're standing there
wanting me to. It's weird.
Harmony
(she vamps out)
Is this better?
Xander
Yeah ... a little.
Harmony
Would it be easier if I attacked you?
Xander
Maybe.
Harmony
Ok. Here goes. And Xander ...
Xander
Yeah?
Harmony
Thanks.
Harmony rushes at Xander and he stakes her through the heart.
Fade to black.