Disclaimer: I hope one day to be rich enough to buy the Yu-Gi-Oh characters, but as of now (until my plans for world domination are achieved...) I can not and do not own the Yu-Gi-Oh characters or plot lines.
Dear Diary,
I realized I have problems, like any other person. But mine are ones that make me hollow. I have started using you to help me overcome obstacles, one by one. But first I should list them out, so then I can tackle them. So please hear me out, give me the motivation I need to feel important in my life.
1. I am far too dependent on my brother, he deserves a sister who can help him.
2. I am too much an introvert to ever say what I think and feel, which allows me to feel ignored and neglected.
3. I can't defend my self very well, verbally or physically.
4. I am not being true to myself, I try to fit in.
5. I allow others to walk all over me.
6. I hate that I automatically try to please people.
7. I want to find my talent.
8. I need to be confident in myself
9. I want to feel close to others
10. I want to accomplish this list to finally have the will to stand up against my mother.
Yes, I have stated it, finally, my mother has been abusive since the divorce. She is an alcoholic and hurtful mentally and physically. I haven't told a soul yet, because I know deep down, far down in her tortured soul, she loved me once. I believe that she may still love me yet. I can't bring myself to tell anyone else until I face and, for that to happen I need to be a person I can look up to. I must be happy with myself as a person and accepting of others even if they don't understand or like me.
So I will face her first, I will see if we can change our ways and become the people we tell ourselves to be. If I tell the others, I know she will be reported and taken away. I don't want that, I want to help her, fix her wounds, and make her see the loving woman she can be.
But I am too weak right now and just barely holding on. I want to give in, but I won't, I don't work that way.
Please, motivate me.
Serenity Wheeler