Hi everyone! Sorry the updates on Tainted Love are coming really slowly! Hehehe! I'm going to update soon! This is the first chapter of a new story! It's a comedy!
Pairings: Sasuke and Sakura, Hinata and Naruto, Neji and Tenten, A Shikamaru Temari and Ino love triangle.
Enjoy!
Chapter 1
School's Out, Summers In
In the bustling city that is Konoha there was a high school. This high school was no bigger or better than any of the rest of the schools that stood tall and proud.
Most of it was empty of people, even the principal had fled from it.
To an onlooker it would have looked like a huge stampede of over excited and horny teens running out of an otherwise innocent looking high school, some clutching their crotches and a bag of condoms.
If you squinted really hard you could see some that were practically screwing each other on top of the crowd.
The only things that were different were that its name was different; Konoha High School, the Home of Young Minds, and that in one of the classrooms students were being thoroughly tortured.
Room 386 to be exact, where the last period of Professor Hatake Kakashi was residing.
Let us further investigate the torture that is being placed on these innocent adolescents.
Tick, Tick, Tick.
The minimal group of teenagers that restlessly sat in the room knew that if something did not interrupt this action of terror it would soon destroy them and their sexual desires.
Tick, Tick, Tick.
The adolescents felt there sanity slowly but surely slipping away with their boners.
Tick, Tick, Tick.
A certain straight A student grabbed her unusual pink hair, threatening to pull it straight off of her scalp, hoping that the unbearable agony would fade away.
Tick, Tick, Tick.
A usually calm and collected teen with ebony hair and obsidian eyes even looked like he was on the verge of tears and close to masturbating in public.
Tick, Tick, Tick.
A usually hyper and dim-witted blond child resembled a person who was being whipped by Satan himself.
Tick, Tick, Tick.
Through an almost inaudible mumble of words the kids could catch a fragment of what their torturer said. "Don't worry kids we still have a solid 5 minutes left."
Tick, Tick, Tick.
The crowd didn't even try to bite back a groan of pure horror.
Tick, Tick, Tick.
Everyone's eyes quickly darted back and forth. Things were beginning to grow blurry. The line between reality and hell became frayed.
Tick, Tick, Tick.
Every sensible person in the room was stuck on one thought. "He's going to keep us here forever."
Tick, Tick, Tick.
Many children raised their heads and began to pray to the All Mighty One. For most it was god, but obviously for Naruto it was the man who invented ramen and the color orange.
Tick, Tick, Tick.
It looks like god or, the dead soul of the man who created ramen, was in a good mood because the small timer perched in front of them only had a few seconds left before it ringed.
Tick
Three
Tick
Two
Tick
One
Tick
Zero
Now, if you were coincidently standing near the said high school trying to enjoy the sunshine and bird song of the lovely day then you would have been pretty shocked when you heard a battle cry and a group of adolescent teens zooming by.
One poor old man was so shocked that he unfortunately went into cardiac arrest and fell to the floor writhing in pain.
It was 45 minutes before someone called the police.
Now, for a moment of silence.
As the group of restless adolescent teens whizzed by in an unusually colored blur a "Yes, summer is finally fucking in!" and a "This is going to fucking rock!" could be heard.
If you just so happened to wonder where this group of very fast and very horny teenagers were headed to and why they were in such a hurry then do not fear! We will further investigate this.
In a certain mansion that was snuggly tucked in a very rich area in the suburbs 12 kids lazily lounged in the glamorous and very large living room that was located in the famous Uchiha Manor.
Some were lying comfortably on the white faux rabbit fur rug, some were sprawled on the rich burgundy colored circular sofa, and some were in the kitchen, raiding the Uchiha's endless supply of food.
These 12 people were the exact same ones that were being tortured at the other-wise normal school. Shhhhhhh. Their talking. Let us listen in on their conversation.
"We finally got out, I was starting to think Kakashi-sensei would never let us leave." A certain girl with strawberry pink hair confessed. Her name was Sakura. It suited her well.
"Yeah, tell me about it." A certain chocolate haired Inuzuka sighed. His name was Kiba. Two red tattoos marred the plain of his high cheek bones. It didn't make him look scarred; it attracted tons of girls because they thought it gave him the "bad boy" look.
"Well, okay, old man Kakashi got mad at u-"a certain beach blond was cut off in his sermon on how they ended up sitting in their "evil" last period class by someone's pale hand connecting with his cheek in a painful bitch slap.
Pause
Now, notice how the pour, innocent blond boy is being abused by his so-called friends.
Play
"Baka" A teenager named Uchiha Sasuke muttered.
"What did you just call me?!" Naruto yelled, pieces of ramen flying from his mouth.
"A baka or can you not hear because of all the dipshit-ness clogging your ears?" A raven haired Uchiha replied smoothly, his voice thick and cold like a batter made of ice. Sakura and Ino almost fainted from Sasuke's "cool-ness."
"Don't call me a baka you mother-fucking bastard!" Naruto exclaimed, placing his bowl of ramen at the edge of the priceless mahogany coffee table. Almost immediately after this statement Naruto's face connected with two fists. One of which belonged to Haruno Sakura and the other belonging to Yamanaka Ino.
"I don't think you should be the one talking dumb-ass." Sasuke fired back, his expression and voice as emotionless as ever. "Yeah, go Sasuke!" was released from the glossed mouths of two females in unison.
"Why you-"The blond boy was cut off in his insult by a loud clang.
Larry!!!!!! I thought I told you to keep it down! The kids aren't supposed to know that we're here!!!
Sorry!!!!
All the kids turned their heads toward the ceiling, believing that that was where the sound had come from.
"Wow that was weird." A girl with fair skin and chestnut hair pinned up in two buns on her head declared. She was swinging a pure silver pocket knife with an extremely sharp tip around her index finger. They all called her Tenten.
"You bet." was drawled out lazily from an obviously lazy guy with his long hair tied in a tight pony tail at the top of his head. He was known from the teachers as Nara Shikamaru. With his friends he was known as Nara, Shika, or lazy bum.
"Wow Sasuke, I never knew your ceiling talked." Naruto said in complete awe, the argument that had occurred before hand completely forgotten.
"I didn't know either; it's probably just some idiots next door." The dark haired Uchiha answered his cold demeanor once again intact.
"Wait!" Naruto screamed. Everyone froze, expecting for the house to be under attack. "Where's my ramen?"
Everyone groaned at his stupidity, they didn't even bother to answer his question.
Unbeknownst to them Naruto was in a frenzied search for his "precious."
Wait! It's supposed to be near that table!
CLANG!
No! The coffee table!!!
"Ummm……..ooookkkkaaay." A pretty girl with hair the color of velvet murmured. Her name was Hinata.
"Uchiha, you have some pretty fucking loud neighbors." A deep voice declared. It belonged to Hyuuga Neji, Hinata's cousin. He had long silky hair the color coffee. But don't let that fool you. He was anything but feminine, you could see the outline of his muscles through his shirt and his face was chiseled.
"I found my ramen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Naruto exclaimed. "It was on the coffee table just like the ceiling said; I think I'm in love." He sighed dreamily.
No one acknowledged what Naruto had just spoken, they were to busy trying to convince themselves that they weren't hearing things.
After many moments of stiff and uncomfortable silence the quiet blanket that had settled over the crowd of adolescents was broken by a loud munching sound coming from a cherubic looking boy with a bag of chips in his meaty hands.
"Chouji!" the pretty, blond Yamanaka referred to the boy in distaste, her small nose wrinkling in disgust.
"Ino, you should not be yelling, we should be planning out our summer of youthfulness!" A tall, skinny boy known by the names, Rock Lee, Lee, and bushy brows, called out. His soot-colored hair was fashioned in a bowl cut and his infatuation for Sakura was completely obvious.
"Lee, will you cut the youthful crap, no one wants to hear that stupid shit, again." Tenten remarked dryly, looking to a boy bundled up in a forest green scarf and a matching sweater for backup.
"Hn." The boy, whose name was Shino, replied. He rarely talked; he also had a strange liking for bugs.
Tenten rolled her eyes. "Stupid asshole, never talks." She muttered.
Once again a heavy silence fell over the teens.
After three or so minutes Sakura spoke up. "Hey guys, you know that flyer Professor Hatake gave us in the middle of the year?" she inquired. All she got in reply was 11 incredulous you-actually-read-those-flyers? stares.
The cherry blossom flushed, her face turning a pretty shade of red from all the sudden attention. "Well….whatever, the point is that the flyer says that all students have to have at least 1,200 hors of volunteer work over the course of the summer, or else we have to spend the next summer in summer school." She declared, barely able to maintain her composure.
"So where do we volunteer, Sakura-chan?" Naruto inquired.
"Well, the places that we can volunteer at are a bakery, an amusement park, a summer camp, and a hospital. Each place only has 8 spots so only 8 people can volunteer at one place." The emerald-eyed girl explained patiently.
"Ok, that's good, so, I vote we should volunteer at the amusement park!" Kiba hollered out. Sakura opened her mouth to say something but was rudely cut off by Shikamaru. "Well that's fine, except for the fact that everyone will want to volunteer at the amusement park and last time I checked there are 11 kids and only 8 spots." He said smartly.
"Don't worry to much Shika, your pussy will start leaking, besides, the baka, Hyuu-gay and I aren't volunteering and Ino is volunteering ather moms flower shop, right?"
"Uh…right, Sasuke-kun." The Yamanaka replied, blushing from being spoken to by her precious "Sasuke-kun."
"Okay, there you go, 8 people." The young Uchiha replied.
Sakura, jealous of Ino getting all Sasuke's attention spoke up. "Guys, we can't volunteer at the amusement park. Since we are the last people to turn the form in we don't have a choice, we have to volunteer at the hospital, it's the only place that has all 8 spaces open."
All was quiet for a moment. The silence was ruined by Tenten bursting out. "This sucks!"
Sakura shrugged. "Well we can't do anything about it; all we can do is choose the spaces we want."
"We can do that tomorrow. Now that this crap is cleared, get the hell out of my house!" Sasuke growled.
Everyone immediately scurried out of the mansion, not wanting to feel his infamous Uchiha wrath.
While a certain cherry blossom was on her way out the young Uchiha grabbed her delicate wrist and whispered something in her ear, the tips of her pink ponytail brushing his shoulder. Her face immediately flushed.
Outside of their little bubble a blond Ino was growling viciously at Sakura, a sighing Shikamaru restraining her. Two boys, Naruto and Lee looked on in horror, hoping that Sakura would not fall for Sasuke. Hinata was looking shyly at Naruto, Tenten and Neji having a flirt fest and Shino, Chouji, and Kiba staring blankly ahead.
Yep, this was going to be an interesting summer.
So what do you think? I want at least 5 reviews if you want an update! I'm also doing oneshot requests! Only Naruto! Any couple, any topic!
And if you like dark fics then read my oneshot Promise?. Read it!
Lots-o-love,
Kaya